Deviation Actions

HessianD's avatar

Ava Lexy Candygram

Published:
By
9 Comments
405 Views
Request from ~Nut-Case of her characters, Ava & Lexy.

Sorry for taking forever :(

As for the rest of you:

FACE IT STRAIGHT! CRITIQUE...OR...DIE!
Image details
Image size
518x800px 1.69 MB
© 2010 - 2021 HessianD
Comments9
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
subvirus's avatar
CRITIQUE OR DIE! ALRIGHT lets go, i will critique.
firstly: the reflected light on the back of the suit is very strong and it would look better if the reflected area was not so thick, more subtle like reflected light tends to be. i think the reflected light all around can stand to be made a bit more subtle, because right now it doesn't look natural, and does look like there should be something that is reflecting all that light on them opposite the light source. you would do better to show a bit more love to the darker half of the value scale, go darker with your shadows, especially core shadows and creases in things. it would make things pop a lot more and seem more three dimensional. right now you've mostly got light to midtones, which makes everything look very flat.
the wood tends to look more like bacon or layer cake or something, my only suggestion there would be the obvious "look at photos/real wood". the thick shadow lines on the creases in the napkins make them also look like white bacon, would be more discernable what they are if they were thinned out and gradated a bit. the wood and the napkins also are more cell colored rather than soft shaded the way everything else is, and that makes them look awkward and flat.
perspective issues: the seats are not in the same perspective as everything else. judging by the bases, we should probably be able to see the little rims most, if not all of the way around them, depending on how poofy the tops of the seats are. also the dog guy's head appears to be a straight-on view, while we are looking down at the rest of his body. things sitting on the counter fall victim to this as well. basically, its obvious that we are looking down on this scene, but a lot of aspects of it are drawn too much from a side-view perspective.
this vehicle's undercarriage appears to be abnormally clean, and the tires are quite shiny. i am not sure if this is on purpose. also it appears to be a rather small vehicle, as it looks like if the woman stood up she would be a fair bit taller than it, with tires the same size as the stool seats. makes me think maybe the stool seats are also a bit too large?
the stool bases could stand to be a bit more elliptical and less lumpy, and adjust the perspective where the pole inserts into the base to be more top-down as well. the dog guy's closer foot also appears to be lumpy but i am not sure if that is because he is standing on one of these floor blobs or not. the floor is...confusing. it is probably meant to be one of those obnoxious deco floors like they have in airports, but it appears the black lines have shadow and are hovering above the white part, because the gray used on the floor is extremely close to the gray of the shadows. you might want to do something about it, because that, combined with the very stark contrast of the pure black and white, is distracting from the rest and i think you probably don't want your viewers thinking too much on what the hell is the deal with that floor. there are some white things and some gray things spilled on the floor also, and i am not quite sure what they are. balls? snow? glass? they also blend in with the rest of the floor, so i am not quite sure that they aren't just another part of the floor itself. that whole area being mostly cell shaded instead of soft shaded also makes it stand out unnecessarily.

so uh, in conclusion, i got carried away with this and i hope this long-ass critique is useful. :O
HessianD's avatar
...Who's awesome?

YOU'RE AWESOME.

A million thanks to you for a magnificently thorough observation.

Don't ever change, you glorious internet human.
subvirus's avatar
i am glad my wall of text is appreciated! :)
subvirus's avatar
lmfao:rofl::rofl::rofl: oh god who is even going to read this hahasdhgkjadfgaldf
47ness's avatar
........I read it. :invisible:


All your points are dead on, and worth taking to heart.

I would just add, as a qualifier, that the dog person could have his head cocked to the right which would explain why his head is eye-level vs. his body being in 3-point perspective. :B
subvirus's avatar
i only thought i would hear that if he tried to make a cheap excuse for an error. :P having the head cocked at the exact perspective of the viewing angle, unless done very well, would look awkward, so it would be best to avoid things like that unless you can be positive that the viewer will be aware what's going on. right now, even if that was the case, it presents itself as an error instead of something done intentionally because the neck indicates no stretching and is mostly obscured by the collar anyway. so i think in a picture like this, doing that would be something to avoid. not to mention that this kind of perspective error appears pretty consistently in this picture and not just on the head.
HessianD's avatar
I did, because it is AWESOME.
MechaDaveO's avatar
The black/white floor is too distracting. It is too loud.
HessianD's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In