Heli-Starr2

I will never tried to be friends with an Australian ever again. I am done with that.

Right now, I am in a hotel in Birmingham, hoping to connect with my 2002 classmates. I am so furious with myself, no matter what I do, no matter what plans I have set up, my life is complete garbage. I am not able to do anything right. I cannot get a job. I cannot have a relationship with anyone. I cannot do anything because of 2 things; Autism and Cerebral Palsy. I am so furious that I contunie to suffer from them. These 2 continue to give me nothing but trouble. They continue to make employers to go they do not want me instantly, no matter. I wish what was the sin that I committed that made God decided that He will punish me with them. I wish what it was. I am so furious with myself over that. I truly wish, from the bottom of my heart, that I was never born with them. I truly wish that they were never part of my life. I truly wish that I can get rid of them for good. I truly wish for all of them. I will be here for one more day, then I will be going home.

I demand to know why I continue to have the door slammed in my face. I did what I was supposed to. I follow the rules. I went to school. I have my education. I apply to many different jobs and I continue to be rejected. Why? It is because I have both Autism and Cerebral Palsy. I ask for forgiveness for having them and no one wants to forgive me for having them. Everyone around me will continue to hold that against me and continue to discriminate me for it. I promise you. If my luck does not change and I do not get employment, I will become violent and start demanding that people finally hire me. This is not fair. I follow the rules and everyone continues to discriminate against me for these evil disabilities. I am sick of it. People wonder why I hate myself and why. I hate myself because of everything evil about me and I am constantly reminded of it. Good does not exist. It is all bad.