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Leader Of the Light
By Heichukar   |   Watch
87 38 400 (1 Today)
Published: October 15, 2018
© 2018 - 2019 Heichukar
Who would have known drawing a picture could cause so much crying

This is Tera. She was my very first bird, she was the very best bird in the world.
She was my complete everything. We did everything together, she was my best friend
she was there for me when i had hard times. She was there for me always.
She licked the tears off my cheeks when i cried, she was there when i was happy
She was the one that made me happy. She helped me to overcome my first depression
She was all i could ever ask for.

She's now gone from this mortal world, but i believe she is still somewhere, and
she will definitely exist as long as i remember her.

I have her ashes in an urn  in my showcase, very next to me. I gave her the lucky charm i got
from italy because she deserves all the good things there can be.

She was my everything. And still is, i admit. I haven't been able to move on from this yet at all. It's soon been 2 years since she died.
I still have these breakdowns and I feel like i have nothing to live for anymore. But i try to hold on to live just because I want to be able
to remember her. I have two chicks from her, which i hope i can breed later to continue her legacy.

Where ever you are, my heart goes out for you

Rakkain hanipöö...
Image size
8000x9000px 34.23 MB
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Comments (38)
Ejaki's avatar
Ejaki|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AAAAA kuule--
Oon pitäny tän itellä pitkää viesti kansiossa, kun oon oottanu et haluun laittaa tähän viestii sit oikee kunnolla ja ajan kaa 
Tää työ ku näin tän ekan kerran ku kävin kuvia läpi devis muilt ihmisiltä niinii kosketti niiiin syvästi.
Edellee koskettaa. Siis oon iteki itkeny sun puolesta ja miettiny useamma kerran tän kuvan jälkee sitä viel itteksee.
Jotenki se antaa nii paljo ajattelemisen aihetta.
Toisaalta siis itellä ei oo kokemusta vaaku lemmikki kalojen kuolemasta, mut on sekin omalla tavallaa aina säd ku kala kuolee. 
Mutta siis sitä mun piti sanoo, että mua aina koskettaa hyvin paljon, kun ihminen ja eläin muodostaa erityisen vahvan siteen. Sellane on nii jotain kaunista ja oikeesti upeeta. Et jos mietin tilannetta omalle kohalle nii pystysin hyvin kuvittelee kuinka paljon se varmasti itteeki sit sattuis kun sen lemmikin menettää. :c
kuolemalle kun kukaa ei voi mitää harmi vaa :/ (vaikka ironisesti toisinaa hokee itelee et oispa jo haudassa)
Mä  myös muistan ku aikanaa juteltii enemmä ja kerroit Terasta mulle sillon ekan kerran ja mun mielestä sillon ku se semi vasta siin oli kuollu ni juteltii, koska muistan ku sanoit joskus siitä et se o kuollu : ( nii tiesinki sit tän kuvan nähes et nii joo. 
Mutta toisaalta sulla on sen jälkeläisii täl hetkel ja neki vissii saamas poikasia ellei joku jo oo saanu? (En oo täysin kartalla.)
Nii tavallaa se mitä Tera sulle anto jokseenki elää sun luona vieläki, sen jälkeläisis, sun mieles ja sydämmes. 
Mä ku oon tämmöne hassu nii haluun uskoo et se on sun luona aina ja haluu sulle vaa hyvää aina niiku se tuli sua lohuttaaki.

Mutta jos mulla itellä ois tollanen suhde johonki eläimeen (tai ihmiseenki peräti?XD) niin varmasti iteki oisin iha et se ois kaikki mitä ikinä vaan voin pyytää. 
Mutta mutta ää, mä ymmärrän et varmasti tosiaa vielä jälkikätee tää surettaa ja saaki surettaa :c 
Tuskin musta nyt kauheena on apuu, mut sanoin nää asiat ehkä lähinnä siks että itte koin tän nii vahvasti ja halusin sanoa. Ofc toivon et suaki jos lohdduttaa niii nii I'm glad then :heart: 
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
Teralla joo on 2 poikasta jotka asuu mulla, yks yhellä toisella maailmalla.  Toivon et pääsen pesittää niitäkin vielä.

Kiitos paljon tuesta ja kannustavista sanoista <3
Reply  ·  
Ejaki's avatar
Ejaki|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Uii!! ihana kuulla, että sillä on poikasia ja nekin toivomukaa pääsemässä sit saamaan omia jälkeläisiään!! Onnee sulle sen kans<3

Ole hyvää<33
Reply  ·  
TheTinfoilRat's avatar
You did a really good job on this picture, I love the colours.
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
thank you <3
Reply  ·  
TheTinfoilRat's avatar
You're welcome! :D
Reply  ·  
SpitfiresOnIce's avatar
SpitfiresOnIce|Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love the pose here, and this is so emotional ;w; It looks beautiful
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
Thanks <3
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SpitfiresOnIce's avatar
SpitfiresOnIce|Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome c:
Reply  ·  
Bloodrainnightmare's avatar
Bloodrainnightmare|Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so sorry what happened to you. I can see that you really loved Tera and that she was a great friend for you. I can understand how you feel, it's the same with me and my friend who died two years ago either. In the first year I had relapses monthly and kept crying about her... Now when I remember her, it still hurts to know that she's gone but... It usually helps me when I keep saying to myself, that she's actually not really gone. That she will stay as long as I remember her and that she will live on in my heart.
I know it may be not much to say and you've probably heard it many times, but it helped me to overcome my friends death when I keep reminding this:
An important person, no matter friend, family member or pet, they will never be gone, even when it seems so, when you keep remembering them and don't forget them. Keep them in your heart and they will go on live on your heart.

I dont want you to say what to do, but I did it like this. I drew many commeration drawings of my friend (like drawing memory fragments that I collected with her). That helped me to get along with her death. I know it can be really hard without breaking out in tears when doing this. But afterwards when I look at these drawings, it makes me happy.

Dont worry, my dear. It's okay to be sad about this loss, but keep in mind that you matter and that you have people who care about you. I'm certain of that. It would be important to them to see you being happy, just like Tera would have as well. And they will be there to catch you.
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
aw thank you for your kind words  <3  

Its still been really difficult, ive tried my best  to try stay positive but this all still keeps eating me inside. I have never experienced loss this terrible. I dont think anything can shook me after this anymore...

ive tried to think positivbe and continue my breeding to continue her legacy, birds are still my most important thing in life that keeps me going, ill try to hold on to that
Reply  ·  
Bloodrainnightmare's avatar
Bloodrainnightmare|Hobbyist General Artist
No problem, any time...!

What matters that you at least tried to stay positive. It gets me sometime as well, that's not bad. But the important thing is with every fall you experience, that you will stand up again.
There are surely people who are willing to reach you their hand and help you.
I suggest that you talk about this with your close friends or family. Sharing your worries and stuff. It's usually easing.

That's happy for me to hear! Birds inspired me since I was a kid, they are so cute und goofy some times. I wish to take care of one some day, but before that I probably have to learn a lot about them. I want to give my future bird the best care tho! ^^
Just trying to be friends with ravens and crows, to balance that I don't have a bird yet.
Reply  ·  
TimeAbandoned's avatar
TimeAbandoned|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ooof, I need to catch up on looking at your fabulous art (hi hii)
This is beyond adorable :O :heart: look at that bubbas big smile ^u^

my girl Charlie was just the same (white body and yellow face tho) and it's been over 5 years, I have her brother here, you just godda keep going for them. Keep that love you have for her moving
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
aww thank you <3

aww i will <3
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TimeAbandoned's avatar
TimeAbandoned|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww your welcome <3
Reply  ·  
Dragimations's avatar
Dragimations|Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's crazy to think that I've been following your art since 2011, when you were Teranymphycus or however it's said. So much has changed since those times, I'm proud to have been here this long. :)
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
wow, thank you for sticking with me <3 
Reply  ·  
hallvgens's avatar
hallvgens|Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is such a beautiful tribute to your beloved feathered friend ;w;
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
aww thank you <3
Reply  ·  
Triskittt's avatar
aw... this is so beautiful. i had a bird names pebbles, and she was just like you description.. this is a great way to express your love for her ^^ i love everthing about this
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
aww <3

Thank you <3
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Bandarai's avatar
Gosh, there's so mcuh emotion in this. The colours you've chosen are so perfect; I love that soft glow of the bird. Also, her expression is so happy. ;_; Those are the parts you always want to remember when you lose an animal - those simple little happy moments. Such gorgeous work. :heart:

I think through the years we will all unfortunately have to deal with losing one we love - human or animal. We must remember though! Those who we love will always be with us in our hearts and in our memories. <3
Reply  ·  
Heichukar's avatar
Heichukar| Digital Artist
aww thank you so much for the kind words <3 they mean alot to me <3 
Reply  ·  
Sniv-The-Unworthy's avatar
Sniv-The-Unworthy|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow, I'm sorry about your bird. She's beautiful and she looks so happy here.
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