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I'm at my wit's end.

I've been trying to find a new laptop for myself with a 1TB HDD around £300-£500 with an i3 or higher processor for about 2 weeks now and I found one and was about to buy it but then I realised that it didn't have a disk drive, which I need and I don't want to have to buy a separate disk drive for it.

Call me stupid but I honestly had no idea that laptops didn't come with disk drives anymore, I thought it was like one of the most basic features of ANY laptop.

Can anyone please recommend a site/brand/laptop with these specifications?
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Thinking of doing a drawing/story writing based UtaPri Secret Santa, anyone like drawing/writing about UtaPri characters and are interested in joining? :3

The rules will basically include me creating a form for you to fill out, an example of this is below but this won't be the final version! If you wish to join, you can send me the form filled out by yourself via private message and I will give you someone to write the story for :3

e.g. Your favourite UtaPri character/s, whether you want the picture/story to be a pairing or friendship type and what scenario you want the character/s to be in

Let me know here if any of you guys are interested and I'll start working on the form!
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
I'm thinking of getting a new Windows 10 laptop (with i3 which is apparently good for drawing tablets?) soon but I'm not sure which types of drawing tablets to get for it, can you guys recommend any brands/specific tablets?

I always use Paint SAI for my drawings and I was wondering if there are any tablets that actually like SAI? My two previous tablets have only lasted about a year or two and then they either stop working, their stabilisation messes around or the cursor flashes around everywhere so I'm kind of fed up with Wacom/Bamboo ones to be honest x3;
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Just thought about opening these since I tend to draw SO many of them XD

Examples:
The first example you see here is a redraw from the Uta no Prince Sama Debut game (I didn't redraw Syo in this one but I will redraw ALL character/s in the commissions!), the second is a redraw from a scene in the School Babysitters Anime and the third is a redraw of a scene from the Clannad anime :3

UtaPri Redraw - It'll be okay, son... by HedgeCatDragonix  UtaPri Redraw - Like father, like son... by HedgeCatDragonix  Clannad Redraw - The Birth of Takura (Mom's POV) by HedgeCatDragonix

:bulletblue: All screenshot redraw styles - 840 points ($10.50/£7.52 for one character + an extra $2.56/£2.00 for second character

RULES:

:bulletpink: If you wish to purchase a screenshot redraw commission, you must provide me with front & side reference image/s of the character/s you wish for me to draw as well as the image you wish for me to redraw (the official character/s can be an exception if I generally know how to draw them in side view e.g. ANY UtaPri character x3)
:bulletpink: As in the examples you see above, if you wish to mix styles (e.g. putting an UtaPri character into a different anime scene) then the overall screenshot will be matched as best as it can to the style of the screenshot but the character may be drawn in its original style!
:bulletpink: In terms of the payment, I will accept the payment first and foremost before I start the drawing!
:bulletpink: 
:bulletpink: If you have any questions/queries about a commission, please note me!
Bullet; Pink I draw up to 4 characters in each commission and will take up to 3 commissions per person!
Bullet; Pink You are allowed to ask/remind me of commissions but please do not keep pestering me!

I WILL draw:


Bullet; Green Sonic characters (for Sonic X styled screenshots, they will cost 2000 points ($25/£17.90 for one) as seen in my previous commissions journal... official, FC or official and FC character/s are allowed)
Bullet; Green Anime characters
Bullet; Green Couple works (again, official X official/FC x FC/official x FC is allowed~!)
Bullet; Green Yuri/Yaoi screenshot scenes (clean, please!)

I WON'T draw:

Bullet; Red Realistic characters (e.g. Kingdom Hearts human characters)
Bullet; Red 18+, including fetish-related works

  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
This is so beautiful, I can't even :heart: I can't wait to see the full version in full HD ;w;

  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Randomly decided to make a Top 30 Favourite UtaPri Tunes list, enjoy~! x3

Part 1: [link]
Part 2: [link]

Not sure if the second one will work, since YouTube keeps blocking it... if it doesn't though I've uploaded it here for you guys to save instead: www.filemail.com/d/vjhjouljbax…
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Pretty much getting HUGE artist's block at the moment... not because I have no ideas though, it's because I have no faith in what I draw -w-;

Since first joining this site over 10 years ago, I feel as though I haven't gotten any better with anything that I wanted to improve on back then. Currently I have no inspiration whatsoever and have NEVER drawn anything original, just shitty redraws and the most basic form of Sonic drawings that I know of.

Every time I try and follow tutorials for drawing manga/Sonic proportions, I f*** it up and just end up erasing everything, trying again like three or more times and then just end up rage-quitting and giving up entirely for days or even weeks sometimes. 

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I even am an artist at all. There's never been a picture that I've been overly proud of drawing and I haven't even found my own artstyle that I can use for everything that I draw. I also have only ever received one commission in the past (which I guess makes sense, considering that my Sonic work, in particular, is so shit compared to everyone else's)

*sigh* So much for my childhood dream of wanting to be a concept artist/graphic designer. I'm a 24 year old graduate yet I feel as though I've achieved nothing in life and would never get into a gaming job, despite my degree in Games Design.

I'm sorry to bitch like this, let's just say that my depression isn't helping in the slightest and I've been failing to get into art courses as of late, which I was hoping would help me to improve on drawing in general. A lot of my friends here on dA have improved vastly since they first joined the site yet I just can't...

Why is it so hard for me to improve? ;-; When I was kid I would draw things ALL of the time and some of my Sonic proportions back then were BETTER than what I draw now! I don't understand!
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
... because I couldn't stop crying for some reason. :/

I got up and had breakfast as normal this morning and I found myself somehow reading up on depression forums (since I suffer from it) for help but I found that the more I read, the more upset I became with my life. I didn't even notice the time and realised that I was a bit late for leaving to go to work.

As I went to the bus stop, I realised that the bus hadn't arrived yet and I waited for about 10-15 mins for it but when it didn't arrive, I once again broke down into tears and began to panic on what to do since I was looking at my watch and I knew that I would be late for work even if a bus came in the next 5 minutes or so (it was about 10:35 and I had to get to work for 11, a good 15 minute bus drive and walk away)

I debated with myself on whether or not to go to work due to my constant flow of tears and I made a stupid decision... I ran away from the bus stop and ran all the way down my road to get back home. I got inside and called my colleague saying that I had a migraine (no, I'm not admitting to my colleagues that I have depression, at least not yet anyway) and I think I must have sounded noticeably upset/full of cold and he sounded somewhat annoyed at the fact that I was staying off (bear in mind that I have already stayed off four times over a 6 month period due to my IBS pains) so now I feel more guilty than ever for missing work and for leaving my colleague by himself (I normally work beside him and he acts as my coordinator for the day)

I feel like shit now and don't even want to tell my mum that I stayed off today. I'm honestly surprised that I haven't been fired yet due to the amount of times I've stayed off. This journal is just an update for my crap-filled life with depression.
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
To my UtaPri fans, www.youtube.com/watch?v=S60pLO… NEW SONG WITH AI AND REIJI IS SO AMAZING, I CAN'T EVEN. ;w; I played the full version on Shining Live and it is beautiful. There is also 'Non-Fiction' by Ran-ran and Camus :3 www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SKdLc…

Fiction is my favourite by far, it's too cute ;w;
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
www.smule.com/recording/staris… Mirai Chizu from UtaPri this time, I'm the less noticeable/'echoey' girl x3 I derped at the end because I wanted to start singing a new chorus but it was the end ^^;
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
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  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
www.smule.com/p/1803713040_252… Admittedly not my best, I was derping the parts in brackets to be honest and just trying out Smule for the first time, plz forgive me x3 I'm also not so good at high notes, sorry ^^;
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
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  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Anyone else going? :D

If you are, make sure to look out for me! x3 I shall be wearing a pale blue Sonic shirt with black leggings and a purple fanny pack with UtaPri keyrings on, so you'll know it's me! ;P
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Apparently the EU (completely useless assholes as always) has decided to allow this f***ed up rule that makes it so that EU countries have to suffer through filters being added to everyday websites, making it so that we can't have the freedom to upload whatever we want anymore, including pictures, audio and videos.

Let's just pray that this rule doesn't go through...
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
So recently both Chrome AND Firefox have decided to be douchebags since about one/two days ago.

Basically whenever I load up Firefox/Chrome normally, I would get this damn popup which appears like every 5 mins or so of some fake site called "no confirm prize" or something and it's seriously starting to piss me off.

This issue started on Firefox by just randomly loading a spam ad from this website onto a new tab and I tried really hard to get rid of it by doing things like disabling tabs, blocking new tabs from loading etc but ended up giving up and went onto Chrome instead and now I have the EXACT SAME issue again, only this time it wants to open in a new WINDOW instead of a new tab.

I've tried all of the methods below, which I searched for online but none of them have worked for me:

. Used different scanning programs and removed the malware afterwards (CCleaner and Malwarebytes to name a couple)
. Adding the website to my AdBlocker for websites to block
. Reinstalling Chrome/Firefox
. Disabling my extensions
. Deleting my cache/cookies
. Resetting Chrome/Firefox to default settings
. Using Chrome in Incognito (which I'm doing right now, but now new windows keep appearing with the same damn popup in a non-incognito Chrome window)
. Deleting suspicious looking programs (which I have NONE of btw)

I am seriously at my wits end and either want to throw my laptop out of the window, smash it to pieces or just delete EVERYTHING off it and start anew.

Can anyone please give me any new methods to try?
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
soundcloud.com/ruchankawai/ter…

Just no words. Except BEAUTIFUL. :heart: ;w; I think my heart legit skipped a beat when I first heard this.
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Drawn by ArtieCanvas: image.ibb.co/kTwCsz/boomsonics… :3 (FurAffinity: www.furaffinity.net/view/28537…)

It's too adorable, I can't even XD

  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
... just curious, why do you like the pairing? XD

Also, enjoy~! 





I sort of requested the second one XDD I basically watched the first one and commented on how much I loved it and asked if they could make another and they did, which is the first one here x3
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
www.sonicstadium.org/2018/08/s…

YAYYYYYYY~ :D Honestly though, this is great news since I'm not really looking forward to Sonic's movie XDD;

I SERIOUSLY HOPE THAT THEY DON'T USE HIM IN A REFERENCE TO THE SANIC MEMES THOUGH. I WOULD DIE IF THAT HAPPENED. >: (
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
Going on vacay again! :D (the same place again XD)

I will be on vacation from the 31st of August until the 7th of September but don't worry, I will have internet at where I am staying~!

Though I just wanted to let you all know since I may not be online as much as usual x3
  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!
I don't really understand what's going on with me at the moment. I feel as though my life isn't as great as it could be, despite being in a nice paid part-time job where everyone is nice to me and there's never been too much trouble with anything there and also have been pretty successful in University, having earned a 2nd Bachelors Degree in Games Design.

I tend to find that every day I also just have a lack of energy and sometimes don't even want to draw anything or play video games despite being bored out of my mind (which happens every day) and whenever I draw/play something I only do it for a few hours instead of the entire day, which I used to enjoy doing a few years ago.

In terms of work, I really don't understand it. I only work 16 hours (4 days a week) in an Admin job for the NHS (National Health Service) and everyone there is really nice to me and there isn't much manual labor or anything that could cause me too much stress yet somehow I feel worse here than I do at home. Now I've made a couple of mistakes at work recently which no-one was angry about but it seems that all of the jobs I've had in the past have made me have a consistant fear of making mistakes. (Bear in mind that my job before this was at Toys R Us where I was constantly berated/talked down to by people who were younger than me for making rookie mistakes and it was a f***ing nightmare that I don't even want to get into)

So since Toys R Us or I guess the job before that, I've had a constant fear of f***ing things up, even if it's a little thing. So whenever I make a mistake in this current job, be it I maybe forget to write down a name/number for someone after they've called for my colleague or forgotten which certain pieces of medical equipment belong to which member of my team, I just feel like bursting into tears, despite knowing that no-one's gonna really mind the mistake at all.

Also since I only work 4 hours a day, I find that all of my colleagues just want to give me constant jobs to do and I sometimes end up working overtime as a result. It seems that they all completely forget which shifts I work despite it being on our group calendar. I've also found that one colleague in particular, who I won't name, gives me jobs that I've never been taught how to do before or just asks me for help with Excel, despite me not knowing much about the program at all (I'm a Word person ultimately) and most of my colleagues just assume that I'm some kind of IT expert just because I know a thing or two about computers. Because of this I'm sometimes pressured into a task that I don't know how to perform and ultimately end up apologising and feeling guilty whenever I can't fix the issue.

I can't say that I've quite forgiven that particular colleague though since once before he jokingly blamed me for not being in work when something was delivered, which I laughed at at the time but honestly didn't find funny at all, despite it being a joke. Because he should have known that I only do four days a week and if I'm not in work on the day that something is deliver then tough, it's the rest of the team's problem not mine.

But anyway... recently I've been having issues with family too, though it's mainly just with my nephew, Killian.

The other day my mum left me with him for 20 minutes whilst she went out to pick up my bro and bring him back, yet it was the most stressful 20 minutes of my entire life. Now, I've always been pretty good with kids for most of my life, due to having 5 cousins at different ages... but for some reason during that day I felt the worse I ever have. I really didn't want to be with him because I know that he's REALLY clingy to my mum so he would just cry as soon as she left, which he did, much to my NON surprise.

Issue was that once he cried, I went into full panic mode and basically tried EVERYTHING to make him stop. I picked him up, thinking he would want a hug, I tried to put him down for a nap since he was rubbing his eyes, I tried checking his diaper (he's 13 months old by the way) and after all of this, he wouldn't stop so I just got angry and felt like exploding. I'm used to having kids cry around me, because of my cousins, but this time I just felt like screaming at the top of my lungs and smashing something.

So by this point, I was completely livid and just gave him some food, which pretty much made him to stop, to my relief. My mum came back and I was fine but he was eating this lollipop thing and I noticed that he wasn't able to eat it properly so I tried helping him out and he SCREAMED the loudest he's ever done and at this point, I just picked him up, gave him to my brother and said "he's your problem..." and went up to my room before bursting into tears.

This just isn't me... and what's worse is that the same thing happened before only it was with me and my dad and mum literally just came home and sat him on his knee and he IMMEDIATELY stopped crying.

Look, the thing is, I've ALWAYS wanted kids of my own, despite my family being somewhat clueless to this fact even though I've shown many signs of wanting one in the past, but recently I just feel as though I don't want one EVER because of these experiences I've gone through (I know that EVERY parent has gone through this, but still). My mum just says to me that the same thing always happens whenever she looks after a kid, the thing is... SHE'S HAD KIDS BEFORE SO IT ISN'T FAIR FOR HER TO SAY THAT TO ME.

And I admittedly am the type of person who likes to stay in her room a LOT just because I feel the safest here so sometimes when Killian's around, I don't tend to go down and see him, which I know may most likely be the issue since he doesn't know me as well as I would like him to.

But those 20 minutes in hell pretty much just gave me a solid reminder of why I can never have kids. Because if I can't even survive 20 minutes with my nephew without him crying then what kind of mother am I gonna be in the future? There's no point in me even considering having a child now despite how badly I wanted one in the past and considering that I have Polycystic Ovary Sydrome, the chances of me having one are pretty much slim to none anyway. Oh and I have an overactive bladder and IBS to add further insult to injury, so is it really much of a surprise that I have depression?

To add to these issues, I've always been pretty bad with the whole 'dating' thing and haven't had great boyfriends in the past. First one tried to touch me inappropriately and the second one was like a clingy child who claimed that he would commit suicide if I dumped him so I've been very unlucky in this area too and have even resulted to online dating since I'm a very socially awkward person and it's pretty much gonna be a long time before I travel anywhere or have a full-time job where I'll be more likely to meet someone. And one more thing, my mum always thinks that I'm overreacting whenever I tell her these issues that I've been having therefore she's no help to me whatsoever in terms of my depression.

I had anxiety in the past, like a year ago, and took classes to help get rid of it. I felt much better after it but now since starting to work again, it's just come back to bite me in the ass once again.

So yeah, this is pretty much my life right now... and for any of you who think that I've had suicidal thoughts, please don't worry, I don't plan on doing anything THAT drastic since I actually fear dying young more than anything.

I'm sorry for ranting on so much, I just wanted to get EVERYTHING off my chest :/

  • Listening to: UtaPri stuff~!
  • Reading: Sonic fanfics
  • Watching: UtaPri/Sonic Stuff x3
  • Playing: Nothing at the moment...
  • Eating: Yummy food~!
  • Drinking: Water, as usual!