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About Literature / Professional Senior Member Mike (aka Mikipedia)52/Male/United States Groups :iconminimalit: minimalit
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Literature
I Guess
In 2018, I didn't need to visit the doctor or a hospital even once. I guess this means that universal healthcare is neither necessary nor worth it.
It snowed heavily in November. I guess this means that climate change really is just pseudoscientific nonsense.
At work, we sold a record amount of Plan B throughout the year. I guess this means that abortions are redundant in today's society and should be banned.
Nobody has ever called me out for making inappropriate or sexist comments. I guess this means that women in general have been overreacting this whole time.
I have friends who are people of color. I guess this means that racism is a thing of the past.
I'm still living from paycheck to paycheck. I guess this means that old white male privilege is nothing but a myth.
Fifteen more years until I retire. I guess this means that counting on the Social Security benefits that I've spent three decades paying into was a dumb idea.
My boss was born in another country. I guess this means that
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 11 9
Literature
Empty Platitude
Leather journal,
handmade paper, hand bound:
too precious for words
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 8 6
LOL WUT by HaveTales-WillTell LOL WUT :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 4 3
Literature
Privilege
If you aren't female, you don't have to worry about having your reproductive rights taken away.
If you aren't black or Hispanic, you don't have to worry about falling victim (sometimes literally) to a double standard.
If you aren't Muslim, and don't look Muslim, you don't have to worry about guilt by association.
If you aren't gay or trans, you don't have to worry about the loss of your civil rights. Or your life.
If you don't have a preexisting medical condition, you probably won't have to worry about how you're going to pay for your prescriptions. Or doctor's visits. Or hospital stays.
If you aren't near or below the poverty line, you don't have to worry about the loss of the programs you rely upon to make ends meet.
If you aren't a public school teacher, you don't have to worry about cutbacks. And what that will mean for your students.
If you aren't a grandparent, you don't have to worry about what kind of planet you're leaving your grandchildren.
This is privilege.
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 5 3
Literature
Ifs
My fellow Americans,
If you believe in the inviolate sanctity of an unborn child, that is your right.
If you are among those who would insist that a woman carry that child to term, but then refuse to provide the necessary financial means for her to provide for that child's continuing welfare as well as her own... then you are part of the problem.
If you are offended or disgusted by homosexuality or transgenderism, then I feel sad for you, but that is also your right. No one should be allowed to criminalize a gut reaction.
If you allow that opinion to determine who your business refuses to serve, where someone can use a bathroom, or whether two people in love ought to be allowed to enjoy the same civil and legal privileges that you do... then you are a part of the problem. Please don't criminalize a gut reaction.
If you respect women: well, of course!
If you mitigate that respect with locker room humor, with "boys will be boys", with salary caps and glass ceilings, with discouraging lit
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 6 1
i (heart) words by HaveTales-WillTell i (heart) words :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 3 0
Literature
Eventide
Night enfolding day—
fox has donned a warmer coat;
oaks abandon theirs.
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 14 6
Literature
Over The Hill, Defined (No, Really!)
Attention, fellow netizens! Within this brief thesis I shall, using a heretofore untried amalgam of English and mathematics, attempt to officially derive the definition of term "over the hill" once and for all.
Ready? Let's begin.
    a) In English, 'forty' is the only number to have its letters arranged in ascending alphabetical order.
    b) Likewise, 'one' is the only such number with its letters in descending order.
    c) This makes 'forty-one' one of the very few numbers with all of its letters in an up-and-down pattern, forming a single cusp or peak.1
    d) From its shape when graphed, we shall define this particular arrangement of letters as being a 'hill'.
    e) Since 41 is by far the greatest of these hills, in both word length and numerical value, we shall further define it as being 'the' hill.2
    f) Forty-two is the first whole number greater than fo
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 15 12
Literature
Star Trekkin'
The Original Cast:
Star Trek: The Three-Hour Tour
Star Trek II: Bill & Len's Excellent Adventure
Star Trek III: Raiders of the Story Arc
Star Trek IV: So Long, And Thanks For All the Fish
Star Trek V: Plan Nine In Outer Space
Star Trek VI: Dances With Klingons

The Next Generation:
Star Trek VII: A Ribbon Runs Through It
Star Trek VIII: The Lion, The Witch & The Warp Drive
Star Trek IX: A Tale of Two Species
Star Trek X: The Clone Wars Saga

The Do-Over:
Star Trek: The Fellowship of the Ring
Star Trek: How I Met Your Mother
Star Trek: Revenge of the Fallen
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 6 13
Literature
Celebrity
Smelt.
Scavenge.
Scour.
Showcase.
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 6 16
Networking! by HaveTales-WillTell Networking! :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 2 5 Team devART by HaveTales-WillTell Team devART :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 6 2 Centrally Parked by HaveTales-WillTell Centrally Parked :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 3 2 It's Not Polite To Point! by HaveTales-WillTell It's Not Polite To Point! :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 3 2
Mature content
Eclair-ation of War! :iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 5 65
Literature
A Clockwork Goldberg
The flashing, thrumming device was almost mesmerizing in its futuristic simplicity. Pulses of violet light chased each other, seemingly at random, across its front panel, while brilliant blue-white electric arcs surged upward from its central coil via a Jacob's Ladder: two tapered copper antennae reaching nearly to the ceiling. The combination cast an eerie and ever-changing series of shadows across the figures of the two men observing it.
The older of the pair was a dignified, gray-haired gentleman with a silk bow tie and bowler hat. His straining waistcoat, however, recalled slimmer days long since past; while his measured silence and slight frown spoke of an ego nearly as large as his girth. After some time, he turned to the slender brunet beside him and asked:
"This, then, is your clock?"
The younger man nodded, a quick jerky movement reminiscent of a wary passenger pigeon eying its captor. "Entirely electromagnetic. Is it not magnificent?" His voice had an odd accent: not quite Ge
:iconHaveTales-WillTell:HaveTales-WillTell
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 12 12

Critiques


This review is based primarily on your question in chat, re: the suitability of these pieces for a group like #minimalit. I have to adm...


Wow. What a punch in the gut. You've got several things going on here. First there's your protag, Nehemiah: dutiful and loving; but bit...

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Literature
Manifest
Ah, me leg,
I shall miss ye,
Latest of the lost.
Aye, ye be Davy
Jones' lass now,
Me pretty, me foot.
Gone
Fer a chain shot
While I were topgallant.
With me left hand
Now,
And me parrot Jim,
And much o'
The lee side o' me face.
I list a bit now,
An' I've lost me sea leg,
So I'm thinkin' now's time
To leave the Pirate
Round an' head for Barbary Coast
With me coffers t' find the
pretty lass I knew when I was
But a wee thing.
If she'll still take me,
Perhaps I won't even miss the sea.
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In the shoes of an Aspie
In the Shoes of an Aspie
Note: This is my experiences and thoughts on what it is like to be an Aspie. I understand others have their own experiences and opinions and I respect them for that. The reason I wrote this was a hope that those who read this gain some understanding as to how people with Asperger's live their lives. However each person is unique so their behaviour and way of life may be different to mine.
I wake to the sound of my alarm going off. I groan Ugh not again... I grope for my mobile and switch it off; the alarm is rather noisy. Here I go again; having to put on that masquerade; going undercover yet again. If only people would just understand what it is like to live the way I and many others like me have to live each and every day…..
Just imagine yourself living in a world where you see and deal with everything differently. Put yourself in the shoes of an Aspie; a person with Asperger's Syndrome. It's a high-functioning form of Autism. It's hard to
:iconObiWanSkywalker178:ObiWanSkywalker178
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Literature
Give Me a Sign
"A few more weeks and we are in the best time of year," Buford exclaimed as he walked out of the classroom with his friends. He, Baljeet, Phineas, Ferb and Isabella raised their fists into the air and shouted in unison: "Summer Vacation, Baby! Wooooo!"
"Oh, I have so many plans for this summer," Baljeet announced as he pulled out his agenda. "Aside from perhaps taking another university class at one point, I was going to go visit Mishti in India for three weeks." He hugged his agenda and looked at Isabella with a grin. "Oh, I cannot wait; I have not seen her for three years, now. It will be just like old times with her! We have already planned out every day!"
Isabella smiled at him. "I'm really happy you can go and visit her finally, Baljeet," she said. "I know how long you've been saving up your money."
"Yes; for many years. My parents agreed to pay for my summer classes if I worked to pay for the trip myself." He looked at the two inventors as the two stepbrothers stopped at their lo
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Literature
passerby
raspy voice, like a demon begging for mercy.  she was
always a broken melody,
a puzzle
with no corner pieces.
i can see her,
drenched by the truth in her own
words, "i am just
a crack in the concrete,
marked
by the footsteps
of people like
you."
:iconEternalSunday:EternalSunday
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Literature
Retraction of Chlorophyll
Longer nights,
                 and shorter days,

Sinking towards the horizon,
the sun stretches itself against
pulsating veins – retracting
from margins to petiole
to stems –
           unmasking
                     green
                           from orange
              to gold,
                       to vermilion
                
:iconWetKakashi:WetKakashi
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Literature
An Apple for the Teacher
Her name was Miss Mills.  She was twenty-two years old and fresh out of college, and my son was a student in her first ever kindergarten class.  He fell in love with her on the first day of school.  He never told me this, of course, but a mother always knows.  He came home that first day and he sparkled as he told me everything that had happened, how Miss Mills had read them a story from a brightly colored picture book and how he had hung on her every word.
"And I want to get her an apple," he announced.
"An apple?" I asked.  I was peeling grapes for his lunch the next day.
"Yes," he said, "it was in the book we read today.  The kids, they gave their teacher an apple, and I think it would be a nice thing to do."
"Alright," I said, "we will get some apples.  Any kind of apple in particular?"
He thought about it.  "A big red one."
The next morning he marched off to school with his big proud apple held delicat
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Frames
My bike is a vintage 1973 Raleigh handed down to me by my father.  The steel frame I use to bike those forty miles to and from class every day is the same one he used on his campus, way back in the Bronze Age.  Sure, I've replaced the brakes, the shifters, the chain, the pedals, the wheels, and about half the rider, but the core of the thing is unchanged.
It's only natural, then, that I was replacing the brake cable when I discovered them.  I'd been inserting a Dremel bit to cut some sheathe when I thought to wear eye protection, and what should I find when rifling through the mess called my father's garage but a pair of glasses that could have been older than the bike I was repairing.  Safety wear, to be sure; the glasses were un-lensed, but the thick black frames were standard eye-wear right about the time NASA was sending Armstrong to the moon.  Instantly recognizable.  I used them to finish cutting the sheathe and pocketed
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The banner drawn atop the page
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Who flaunts her every curve.
"I'd love you well," her eyes impart,
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untitled no45
Sticky hairs of light,
rain-lit fern licks broken moon.
Glows grow under
leaves rotting. Throbbing splendour
bubbling spilt-milk cosmos.
Rain-lit fern licks, broken moon
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leaves rotting throbbing splendour.
The web, spider-spun, of
bubbling spilt milk cosmos
reflecting the moist warmth of
glows. Grow under
the web spider spun of
sticky hairs of light.
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why?
If someone had once asked me
"Why do you write?"
I wouldn't have had an answer
But watching real poets
On Carson Daly at 2 in the morning
Say why they write
I realized the answer
That was inside all along
Just waiting for the time
To be woken up
Why do I write?
I write because I have to
I write because I don't know how not to
I write because there are some things
That have no voice left today
Ideals and beliefs that have been buried
Under acres of skin and sex for fun
And the idea that the person next to you
Is a disgusting creature because you say so
I write because of those that have come before me
Tolkien, Poe, Dickinson, Teasdale
Those who had their own reasons
And are now the reasons themselves
I write because I have to
Why else would I be given the desire
To slay dragons and find magical swords, trinkets in caves
The dark things of this world
That have long since been forgotten
Don't cease to exist,
Just migrate into hiding
Seen only through the corner of your eye,
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I accidentally created a meme.

Sat Jan 5, 2019, 5:54 AM


So, how many of you happened to have seen this already? (Courtesy Me.me)


:heart: Those who know me, know how much I love a good wordplay. On my Facebook wall one year ago, I'd put up a pic of me standing on my right leg, with the caption that I wanted to start off 2018 on the right foot. So for the end of the year, I wanted to do something equally goofy.

At first I was just going to record myself singing falsetto at 11:59 p.m., with the message that I wanted to end the year on a high note. But a bout of hoarseness earlier in the day put the kibosh on that idea. So as an alternative, I googled for a piece of clip art, cleaned it up a bit, and added the "last pun of 2018" part. Then I posted it on my wall, as well as one of the smaller punning pages that I follow, and went to bed before work. (I work overnights.)

During my break, around 3 a.m. on New Year's Day, I opened Facebook to see that I'd gotten a few dozen likes and about 100 shares; par for the course. And then, scrolling through my feed, I saw that someone else had posted a very familiar image in another one of the punning pages I follow. Yes! It's even more popular than I thought. Way to go, Mike! :w00t:

And then I noted (ha!) that the page that they'd linked from wasn't even one of the pages I already followed. So I rode the link back to that page, Pun Based Humor, only to discover that the admins there had liked it so much that they'd pinned it to the top of their page, where (as of this posting) it has over 15,000 likes and almost 50,000 shares. :omfg:

From there it has (if you'll pardon yet another :snowflake:-themed pun) snowballed. It's since appeared on almost every pun page that I know of on Facebook, and has jumped to other platforms as well, such as Me.me (from which I grabbed the above image). At a conservative estimate, based on the number of likes and shares I know about, it's already been seen by at least half a million people worldwide, possibly more.

So yeah, as the saying goes, I'm kind of a big deal. :roll: Which, along with about $3, will get you a fresh cup of coffee or bus fare where I live.

Anyway, how's your 2019 going so far?

—Mike


P.S. It appears that during my latest leave of absence, I'd gotten myself another Daily Deviation. So a beyond-overdue thank you to xlntwtch for suggesting The Cello's Lament, and to doughboycafe for approving it. :hug:


deviantID

HaveTales-WillTell
Mike (aka Mikipedia)
Artist | Professional | Literature
United States
I'm 50 years old, unmarried, and focused on becoming a published children's and fantasy author; I also own my own business as a preschool gym teacher, martial arts instructor and birthday party host.
Interests

Lately I've been taking a metric ton of (mostly) nature photos with my phone. Would you suggest I throw them... 

74%
25 deviants said :wizardhat: Into their own folder on this account?
18%
6 deviants said :firelite-photo: Into a new stock photo account?
6%
2 deviants said :deviator: Onto my PC, and let us never speak of this again?
3%
1 deviant said :camera: Into a brand new alt account?
0%
No deviants said :trash: Out?

Visitors

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bart181
Jun 30, 2019
12:36 pm
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Jun 17, 2019
10:07 am
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Jun 13, 2019
12:28 am
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Darkside007
May 17, 2019
10:05 pm
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Shvestko
May 9, 2019
8:15 pm

Regarding Llamas:

:iconllamaglomp: If I've left you a llama, the best way to thank me is by leaving me one in return. And I will always exchange llama-for-llama. :thanks:

:iconabsoluteblankplz::iconabsoluteblankplz::empllama: :llama: :emplllama:

Comments


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:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happya2 by Alimera

Have a blessed and happy day, dear soul. :heart:
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specialized666 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2018  Professional Interface Designer
Hi, have a great day :D
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Poetrymann Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017  Professional Writer
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HugQueen Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2016   Writer
:hug:
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Gunnut51 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
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