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Too soon
I know it is
too soon
Was it too much?
Is this
not what you wanted
to hear?

My misgivings
say I could leave it
with the kitchen sink

I could sprinkle
it with
make it more

So much of my time
spent on guard, I’d like to
woe to the four winds

Fly kites and spare
no details
of the ruinous mishaps beholden
to our bodies
and our embraces of a heaven
and hell

Go deep, to the ocean floor
understand the dimensions
of shadow
beyond opaque oppression
find a new species and name it
something auspicious

To ask, pray tell, if you have
tasted the earth
the metal
held the lightning rod
and let the currents rattle
your foundation
given reign to
pass through undiverted

If you could hold the answer
unto yourself
and lay it down at the feet
of this moment
make a shrine
from this mound of clay

Bear with me
a seeking, a reclamation
from the navel, from the
corners of ourselves
and give way
set forth
soon, soon
from here
Taking the steps to finally stay still long enough to go back and address some of my past trauma has brought about a lot of mixed feelings. I'm still only at the beginning, but it has caused me to examine these parts of myself that cannot but coalesce with one another in some form of a peaceful ceasefire if I am to have any sense of calm. I would like for them to find shelter from the rain all under the same roof without snarling at one another.

I have often dreamed of a scenario in which I am able to meet a stranger, and we both lay bare all our sores and scars in unabashed honesty, without fear of indignation or judgment, and reach a state of absolute freedom. It comes with the territory of not knowing when is the appropriate time to tell people, especially newcomers, about the things in my life that have affected me on a fundamental scale and have colored my character in such a way that might be perceived as eccentric at best, or callous at worst, to the outside eye. This poem was largely spawned from that sensation.

All things considered, I feel I am in a good place right now, and I try not to get too ahead of myself. 
Introspection is a precious skill. Keep using it.
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Submitted on
October 24


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