Taming the Polar Bear Ch 27

Main Pairing: Rochu (Ivan x Yao) | Genre: School, Romance, Humour, Drama | Rating: PG-13 for kissing scenes and sexual references

Characters: Rochu-centric with many side pairings, supporting characters and cameos from other nations.

Synopsis: In Hetalia Gakuen, Ivan, a notorious school bully, meets & falls in love with Yao, a student councilor who resolves to tame him of his bullying ways. Hilarity, chaos & fluff ensue as Yao braves Ivan's romantic but perverted pursuit to take him into hand.

Disclaimer: The following story is a derivative work of APH and shares no relation to actual countries, political ideologies, history or events. Characters are copyright to Hidekaz Hiramuya, but the storyline and writing are copyright to me. You may share the link to my blog or blog post, but you may not repost my writings without my permission.

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Chapter 27: Operation (Bed)Room Switch I

Never in his life did Yao expect he would become guilty of the following atrocities:

1) Doing naughty things with his boyfriend in public (albeit being forced)
2) Sister walking in on them doing the abovementioned
3) Flashing his little buddy to his sister
4) Everything above committed to eternal documentation on sister's camera

But in just one date with Ivan Braginski, all the above had happened. Not for the first or last time, Yao wished he had never agreed to go into a relationship with the perverted polar bear. The only thing that prevented Yao from jumping off the roof garden right there and then was the fact that he was not dressed in red. If he had to die, he would want to make the most out of his death, by dressing in red so that he could return as a vengeful spirit to exact revenge on the two culprits who were responsible for his intense humiliation.

And none of it had even been his fault! Ivan had forcefully pulled his pants down, while his precocious little sister Wang Wan had somehow appeared from nowhere and snuck up on them with a camera. Never mind that she was supposed to be back home in their hometown at this moment. Much to his indignation, these two shameless people were now sitting opposite each other on the grass, heartily chatting away with not an ounce of apology, while he, the victim, was left alone to grovel in a corner in utter shame.

Much as he ought to find relief from the fact that his little sister of 16 did not seem traumatised to see her brother being forced to manhandle another man's privates in public, he failed to muster up happiness in the face of the harsh truth that she was conditioned to such scenes in 2D by her massive collection of Yaoi doujinshi. Yaoi was one of Wan's unfortunate favourite indulgences, along with impulse shopping and talking back at him.

Yao tried to bury his head in his knees to block out the crushing reality, but he could not help catching bits and pieces of the conversation between his sister and his boyfriend. Wan was quizzing Ivan all about their love life with the eagerness of a genuinely curious child, her eyes round and shining with curiosity. In the meantime, Ivan smiled sinisterly throughout, a faint purple haze behind him, clearly upset that this pest had just ruined his date. Yao wondered if Wan's excitement had dulled her usually acute senses, or if she was simply being her unreasonably gutsy self. Under normal circumstances, he would have sought to protect his precious sister, but now, he was feeling sorry for nobody but himself.

"How long have you both been dating for?" Wan asked with an air of an eager tabloid journalist interrogating a celebrity with a juicy scandal. Yao could not help picturing a recorder in her hand.

"One month," Ivan replied smilingly, his violet eyes glowing menacingly.

Wan's eyes grew wide and she gasped in innocent surprise. "What? Only? Wow! So Yong Soo was telling the truth! I thought he was exaggerating when he said that big brother made out with a guy he only knew for five days!"

Ivan narrowed his eyes. Offended by her reaction which he mistook for scepticism, Ivan declared boldly, "But before that, we were already hugging and kissing like long-time lovers."

Yao groaned inwardly and covered his face, while Wan turned and tut-tutted at him with an expression that said, "I'd never have guessed!"

She regained her composure and turned back to Ivan. "So, what exactly is it that you like about my brother?"

"Oh, everything," Ivan's eyes glinted, hinting malicious intentions. "His deliciously warm lips that melt perfectly against mine, his agile tongue that seduces mine so effortlessly, the sight of his creamy, naked skin when he coquettishly lifts his shirt, the feel of his smooth skin against my hands when I touch him…"

Wan went beet-root red up to her ears. Yao could feign deafness no more as his mind screamed in pain from the verbal torture. He raced towards the duo and clapped his hands over his sister's ears, causing her to yell from shock and pain.

"Aiya! What rubbish are you spouting? My sister is underage aru!"

"Don't treat me like a little girl!" Wan cried when she regained her senses. "I want to hear more! Let me go! You're pulling my hair!" She struggled and tried to pry Yao's hands off her head, but her older brother's parental instincts had kicked in, and he held on even tighter.

"What I said is nothing compared to you flashing your little buddy at her," Ivan growled, feeling angrier by the second to see his beloved Yao holding another person so intimately (in his mind).

Yao's face reddened from the cruel reminder, but he said stoutly, "And whose fault is it? I forbid you to talk to her or come near her aru!"

Ivan's face darkened further. "Why? Are you afraid that she will be jealous of us? Kolkolkolkol~"

"Me, jealous?" Wan exclaimed in disbelief. Taken aback by Ivan's bizarre revelations, Yao released his flailing sister unwittingly.

"Wan is my sister aru!" Yao balled his fists at Ivan in exasperation.

"That doesn't exclude her from my list of love rivals. My sister's life long ambition is to get married to me!" Ivan retorted, his voice quaking slightly from fear as the nightmarish image of his younger sister Natalia chanting "let's get married" at him invaded his mind.

Wan promptly pretended retching onto the grass. Casting a withering glance at her, Yao said, "I assure you that my sister is nothing like yours!"

Wan rolled her eyes. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I don't think any girl wants to marry him at all."

"Aiya! How dare you aru!" Yao cried.

"No girl would like a man who's a nag, a scrooge, a prude and who's always dressed in last year's fashion," Wan elaborated.

"What? That's a lie!" Yao spluttered as he wrung his hands agitatedly. "How rude of you to say that of your big brother aru!"

"How is that a lie? I was just quoting what your ex-girlfriends said," Wan shrugged her shoulders.

"That's just their biased view aru. How could you believe them?" Yao cried indignantly as he cast an anxious sidelong look at Ivan. For some inexplicable reason, he was suddenly worried that Ivan's opinion on him would be tainted by these criticisms. He noted that the darkness on Ivan's face had receded, and he was smiling once more. It seemed that Ivan had decided that Wan was of no immediate threat, but Yao could not help wondering if his placid smile was prompted by scorn.

"Were Yao's ex-lovers girls da?" Ivan asked.

"Yes! So I was really excited when I found out from Yong Soo's Facebook status that big brother was dating a guy!" Wan practically squealed in excitement. Turning to Yao with a sly smile, she said, "I don't suppose you had a choice, considering that you aren't popular with the opposite sex."

"Who says so!" Yao snapped hotly. "It's too bad for them that they don't appreciate my concern and frugality aru!"

"Why should you care about what those dumb girls think when you already have me? Kolkolkolkol~" Ivan chuckled malevolently, sending shivers down Wan's spine, who began rubbing her arms vigorously.

Already used to Ivan's scary chuckle, Yao disregarded it and hastily launched into an explanation, "Aiya, I'm not bothered by what they think aru! I just wanted to set the record straight. I… I don't want you to think of me as a nag, a scrooge and unfashionable aru…" Yao's voice trailed off uncertainly and he looked away from Ivan in embarrassment. Could he actually be worried that Ivan would not like him?

Something clicked in Ivan's head. "Oh! Are you afraid that I wouldn't want you after knowing about your flaws da?" Ivan's face lit up in surprised delight, his harsh voice back to saccharine sweet.

"No! I just don't want anyone to have the wrong impression on me aru!" Yao blushed furiously, annoyed that his real intentions were so quickly exposed.

"Aww Yao, you're so cute! That's why I love you!" Without warning, Ivan grabbed his lover around the waist and pulled him into his lap. Disregarding Yao's frantic struggles, he pressed their lips together and kissed him passionately, amidst excited girlish squeals and 'clicking' sounds from Wan's camera.

Moments later, Ivan detached himself unwillingly from his heartily embarrassed lover. His violet eyes boring into Yao's amber ones dazed from embarrassment and lack of oxygen, he declared emphatically, "I mean it when I told your sister that I like everything about you. I'd rather you nag at me than ignore me. I'd sooner pay for all our dates as long as you'd keep me company. You're so pretty that you look good in anything da!"

Dizzy with excitement, the gleeful voyeur clasped her hands together and gushed happily, "So romantic!"

"Aiya, don't say such mushy things in front of my sister aru!" Yao flushed from the nakedness of Ivan's love declaration. Nevertheless, he was touched that Ivan appreciated some of his less desirable attitudes. Perhaps dating Ivan was not such a bad idea after all.

"It's all right," Wan twittered cheerfully. "It's not like I haven't witnessed more awkward things," she patted her camera mischievously.

"I take that back," Yao thought as the pinkness on his cheeks intensified to scarlet. He lunged at the camera, but grabbed nothingness as Wan nimbly moved her camera out of his reach.

Yao gnashed his teeth. "Destroy it! I command you to aru!"

"Shan't," Wan hid the camera behind her and stuck out her tongue at him. Yao lunged at her, but Ivan wrapped his arms around his lithe waist, preventing him from reaching his sister.

"Your sister seems genuinely happy for us. Just let her have it, what's the problem? Does being seen on film with me embarrass you so? Kolkolkolkol~"

Yao groaned in exasperation at Ivan's gross lack of social awareness. "Aiya, stop getting jealous over nothing! This is more serious than a matter of humiliation. We will be expelled and our futures ruined if that thing leaks out aru!" he wrung his hands with anxiety.

"Whoever dares to laugh at us or expel us shall have a taste of my water pipe. Kolkolkolkol~"

"Aiya! You're completely missing the point! How on earth can you be so calm when... when your private parts are about to be seen by everybody in the world in such an obscene video aru! We would never be able to face anyone around us!" Yao berated as he grabbed Ivan's arms and tried desperately to throw them off him.

"Obscene?" Ivan inclined his head quizzically. "This type of art film is very popular in my country. We call it 'erotica'."

"Arrrgh! It's so impossible to communicate with you," Yao clutched at his heart, his face scrunched up in frustration.

"Oh stop acting like it's the end of the world!" Wan interjected, shaking her head in bemusement at her brother's dramatic antics. "Do you really think that I'd ruin my own brother by exposing your sex tape to the rest of the world?"

"That is not a sex tape aru! We were not having sex in it!" Yao attempted to correct her, a feat that was akin to clutching at straws as Wan arched an eyebrow at him mockingly.

"Naughty tape, obscene tape, erotic tape, it's all the same to me," she shrugged. "Anyway, rest assured that it will be secret and safe if you'd do me a small favour."

"I knew it," Yao said grudgingly. "You wouldn't visit me if you didn't need my help."

"Wrong," Wan smirked. "You need my help to keep your sex tape secret. And I'm giving you a chance to repay my favour."

Yao gave a sigh of resignation. He knew his sister as a determined and confident girl who believed in achieving what she wanted. If she needed a favour, she would get a favour all right, and no amount of threats, protests or attempts to escape would dissuade her.

"All right, just tell me what you want from me and I'll give it to you in exchange for the wretched tape aru!" Yao demanded.

Wan beamed with triumphant glee. "Yes, I wouldn't visit you if I could help it, but Ma discovered my latest yaoi doujinshi…"

"Here we go again," Yao placed a palm against his aching forehead.

"Ooh yaoi doujinshi da? Is that like the comics that Big Sister 801 draws… oh sorry," Ivan said meekly as Yao dealt him a death glare.

"You read Big Sister 801 too?" Wan gushed. "She's my idol! This is so cool! I know very few guys who read yaoi doujinshi…"

"Ahem!" Yao cleared his throat extravagantly. "Let me guess, after Ma discovered your latest piece of catastrophe, she confiscated your doujinshi collection for the nth time and you left home in a fit of anger, going so far as to buy an air ticket and fly all the way here to blackmail me into giving you a hiding place aru."

"You sure are my big brother, you know me very well!" Wan clapped his shoulder happily. "So all I need you to do now is to let me live in a small corner of your room until Ma returns me all my doujinshi."

Wan stood up and pulled out a bulky suitcase from some bushes behind her. Yao felt certain that it was filled with survivors of Ma's doujinshi massacre.

"No way aru!" he leapt to his feet and crossed his arms huffily. Wan pouted back at him, her eyebrows knitted in puzzlement.

"First of all, it's against the school rules to let an outsider, especially a girl, into our dormitories, let alone stay over aru," Yao pointed out.

"I know," Wan said eagerly. "That's why I took your old uniform and dressed up as a student of Hetalia Gakuen! I think I did a convincing job! Nobody will think I'm a girl!"

"Secondly," he gestured at the luggage, "pornography is banned from campus."

"No it's not!" Ivan quipped from beside him. "A lot of students read it openly in the European campus!"

"Well, I've banned it from the Asian dormitory in any case!" Yao said brusquely.

"But doujinshi is not pornography! It's art!" Wan protested.

Yao raised a hand for silence.

"Lastly, Ma must be very worried about you. I'll pay for your air ticket home, and while you're on the plane, I'll call Ma to appease her. I'm sure Ma will forgive you if you apologise for your mistake and stop doing it aru," Yao said firmly.

"What mistake?" Wan cried. "I have the freedom to draw whatever I want!"

"It was wrong of you to indulge in such shameless books, let alone draw them! Ma was too soft with you. If I were Ma, I would have burnt them all," Yao said fiercely.

"Says the one who did shameless things in public, in front of his own sister no less," Wan said sarcastically as she patted her camera to remind him of the immoral contents inside. Stumped for words, Yao withered like a sunflower in the dark. Helplessness and dread filled his eyes, as a warm red blush surfaced over his cheeks yet again.

Wan turned her back on him loftily to talk to Ivan. Clasping her fingers together, she said imploringly, her eyelashes fluttering innocently, "My dear future brother-in-law, you don't mind me bunking in with you for a few days, do you? I have no where to go. I've already spent all my money on my air ticket. I don't have more money to stay at a hotel or even a guesthouse! Please? I promise not to get in your way!"

Ivan's cheeks turned rosy with pleasure at the mention of 'future brother-in-law', and he silently chided himself for considering her as a rival. Why, she seemed even more pleasant and dependable than Kiku! But willing himself not to be carried away, he said, "I'd love to help, but it's not very nice for a girl to share a room with boys da?"

"Doesn't matter, you're family – Ivan positively beamed widely at that – and big brother acts like Ma. Hurry up and take me to your room, I want to deposit my luggage so that I can go shopping!"

"The problem is, I share my room with another guy called Toris, and although he is always bunking in with Felix, it would still be inconvenient for you," Ivan explained.

"What? Isn't big brother your room mate?" Wan looked at him with a mortified expression.

Ivan shook his head and stuck out his lower lip dolefully.

"But why aren't you both sharing a room?" Wan demanded. "No wonder you went in heat in public! You're very lucky that it was me who spotted you, mind you. It would have been disastrous if it was someone else who had walked in on you!" She shook her head in wonder at the blatant stupidity of the two older men.

"I didn't go in heat!" Yao protested angrily.

"Big brother is a prude and very tsundere," Wan proceeded to lecture Ivan, unperturbed. "As the seme, you must take the initiative to ask your uke to share your bed! He may yell at you for a bit, but deep down, he can't wait for you to get into his pants."

"Wan!" Yao gasped in horror, shocked at her brazenness and her bizarrely twisted perception of him.

"I know. I've been trying to get Yao to move in with me, but Arthur and Francis always disappear whenever I look for them to discuss about transferring out of my dormitory," Ivan explained gloomily.

"Who?"

"The head student councillors of my cohort. They are so useless that I would have beaten them to pulp and got them to agree to anything if not for Yao," Ivan flexed his fingers and they creaked menacingly.

"I see," Wan nodded thoughtfully. "All right, in return for big brother's willingness to take me in, I'll make sure that both of you are room mates before I leave."

"I didn't say I'd take you in. Please just go home already aru," Yao wailed.

Wan's lips twitched into a sly and sordid smile. "If I go home now, I would have to show Ma the video of you and future brother-in-law touching each other's little buddies so that she can see what an excellent role model I had…"

"Arrgh! All right!" Yao stuck in his fingers in his ears to shut out her devastating words. "You may stay, but no funny ideas! If I get expelled, both of you are dead meat aru!"

Giving Ivan and Wan the evil eye, Yao wrenched the suitcase handle and dragged it off with a vengeance. Ivan watched him go with trepidation, but Wan caught his eye and winked at him.

"Leave it all to me, future brother-in-law!"

To be continued...