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I Have No One by HanyouInny I Have No One by HanyouInny
I plan on making an image that goes with this sometime.
I hope you like the poem.

EDIT
OMG It's on the front page! Thank you sooo much!

And I'm well aware of my spelling errors. I did this in illustrator which doesn't have a spell check.... plus I don't have the file anymore.

EDIT AGAIN
I fixed the spelling mistakes so please stop telling me that they are there.

And I wrote this for fun and quite honestly didn't expect anyone to notice it.

EDIT AGAIN AGAIN
No spelling errors now.



Check out my other visual poems!
Add a Comment:
 
:icondevilhedgehog:
Critique by DevilHedgehog Jan 7, 2011, 6:47:27 PM
Poetry is a deep subject matter that you've seemed to delve into quite well. This is an excellent expression of emotion, showing a lone soul, heart, mind, what have you, aching for companionship and love. This can represent so many people in the world. Though some would give it a generic trem like "emo", this is a well written example of one of the most tender subjects, expressed in a breathtaking form. One thing I do advise, however, is spell check, spell check, spell check! (Anxiety is what I'm referring to.) Your font choice branches out into a mental picture of what each of these can appear as, making them tangible in a word form. I love this poem. It's a dark subject, but a beautiful one as well.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
227 out of 244 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconrubberbend:
(warning: novice critiquing)
From what I have to say, it's a deviation that makes you think of who you got.

Vision: It's a subject most people can relate to, and often times the simple approach has been done before and can deter those whose interests lie somewhere else. But what's done here is a different facade of the pains of loneliness; creating an original perception towards the subject of solitude.

Originality: With loneliness being a wide subject, people can consider it as a novice thing to write about; that it takes creativity to put something new to something aged. I absolutely love the approach made; by siding off what one has and what one doesn't have in loneliness it further emphasizes its effects. The visual design, however, needs more work. I like the feel to it with the different fonts, but by submitting through visual poetry, sometimes it drives home if you put even more effort toward it.

Technique: Despite the simple approach, one can see the basics being covered. For example, the phrasing is well cut; emphasizing on the first and last lines on each stanza. However, it still needs a few fixes. The last stanza could be stronger with a better handling with punctuation(avoiding comma splices; a novice mistake) and better wording, but other than that, it's fine. The vocabulary is appropriate and the simplicity enhances the mood and makes it more heartfelt and honest. Next time, check your spelling and grammar; it looks professional that way.
It's otherwise on the visual. It doesn't show a variety of technique.

Impact: Lyrically, with a solid, simple run, it is brilliant. It may not appeal to those with higher tastes, but it gets people thinking. It strikes a blow. It's straight to the point. People can relate to it.
The visual is boring; I have to tell you. It looks as if it was made in under an hour. Perhaps a texture, a border or medium values could help make the thumbnail noticeable compared to all the other B&W pieces.


Overall: The movie "Music and Lyrics" had a line that says that the melody is seeing someone for the first time while the lyrics are who they are underneath. If I had bumped I Have No One on the street I would have known his story: a brilliant, straight to the point soliloquy of sadness, isolation and emptiness; if I wasn't disinterested with the first impression.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
83 out of 106 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconmenutman:
menutman Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2018
I'm here
Reply
:iconbehindthemask44:
behindthemask44 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2018  Hobbyist Filmographer
This honestly is SO true, for me. :/
Reply
:iconenigmaticndn:
EnigmaticNDN Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2017
Loneliness is where it begins
Over and over it churns
Vivid are the desires
Empty is what i am left with
 

No matter where you start it is always LOVE
Reply
:iconbunk12bear:
bunk12bear Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes people leave you
halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.-No one is along from into the woods

sorry, I just love that song so much and hey if nothing else your fellow internet weirdos will love you.
Reply
:iconunknowngoalkeeper:
UnknownGoalkeeper Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty much sums up my whole life up until now. Things can change, ive realized, and I hope it does for everyone else who's down below with me.
Reply
:iconlantry1:
lantry1 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amen to that..! This is exactly how I feel...
Reply
:iconleafheart2918:
leafheart2918 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014
Wanna know what's sad about this? That is exactly how I feel every day of my life. 
Reply
:iconsuzz353:
suzz353 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
AMEN....
Reply
:iconfukato22:
Fukato22 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013
I pretty much live like this, and i actually don't feel so bad. 
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I suppose for me it varies depending on the day
Reply
:iconfukato22:
Fukato22 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013
I just think it is really difficult for no one to love you. Unless, of course, you're a sadomasoquistic pedofilic intolerant racist son of a bitch. But even so, the chance still exist for such person, so what are you waiting for? XD
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Idk... what am I waiting for. Thats a very good question.
Reply
:iconfukato22:
Fukato22 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
"what are you waiting for to go out and seek other people?" I know you may say that "i already do that, but what's the point when i never find someone who cares?" You're right, maybe you will never really find someone who cares. But...sitting down alone, weeping over how lonely you are...won't really bring good company, don't you think? It's best to strive your whole life for an uncertain victory rather than accepting a certain defeat. As i said before, i do feel like that. I live like that. Yet, i searched for other people. If people don't come at you, you  must go to them. Like a game. It's unfair, but that's how some people live. I stumbled upon walls, i mistook traitors for friends, i even gave up on finding friends...But i knew that sitting around, living alone with your worst nightmares as company... is no way of life. And after weeping, i kept moving forward. 

Well, that's a slice of my life. Can't simply push my views into anyone's eyes. But i do hope you're capable of moving forward. Never stop fighting. There's always a way, even if it's improbable to exist...there's a way.
Reply
:iconrenteure777:
RentEure777 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
this is all how being alone works but the good thing is how it affects you because the moment you meet that person that is meant for you,everything changes almost exactly the opposite.
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes. That is how it will be when I do find that someone.
Reply
:iconrenteure777:
RentEure777 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013
I'm sure it will. and just remember to hold on and never let to no matter what when bad, or thick times crash on you two, hold the fire (that's how I say it.)
Reply
:iconmamaomeara:
mamaomeara Featured By Owner May 9, 2013
very beautiful!
Reply
:iconmamaomeara:
mamaomeara Featured By Owner May 9, 2013
very beautiful!
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner May 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks
Reply
:iconclank101:
Clank101 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
Wow that was just amazing. Real feeling !
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you :3
Reply
:iconclank101:
Clank101 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Welcome !
Reply
:icontorrentofdeath:
TorrentOfDeath Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This is beautiful! I love the way you do the key words in a different font!
Reply
:iconmkxthegallade:
MKXtheGallade Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
Oh god...Everything in this describes exactly what I feel almost every day and night.

I've been so depressed for so long, drowning in an seemingly never-ending torrent of loneliness. I feel like that there's no end to these feelings of depression. It hurts so much....

I feel your pain. I know what it feels like. It's a horrible feeling....
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww :iconaawplz:
Reply
:iconsiathedragon:
siathedragon Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you have me
Reply
:iconxx-bunny-sama-xx:
Xx-Bunny-sama-xX Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012
i like this, it's rather nice... you'll find someone sooner or later
Reply
:iconnutrinc:
Nutrinc Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Student General Artist
I'm not into emo shit poems but nice typography.
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you, and it wasn't intended to be "emo" but rather emotional.
Reply
:iconnutrinc:
Nutrinc Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Student General Artist
Same thing.
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Not really, but ok.
Reply
:iconnutrinc:
Nutrinc Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011  Student General Artist
Yes, really.
Reply
:iconpereyga:
Pereyga Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the different fonts you used and also the poetry itself <3
Reply
:iconjazzyteacup:
JazzyTeaCup Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
:+fav: This is very profound. It describes me at one point very well.
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm glad you think so. Thanks.
Reply
:iconmsdonnad:
msdonnad Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
awesome ! well done, totally brilliant.. I can relate/ a true work of art . it s great and worth reading.

take the time to smell the roses along the way !
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconsonadira:
Sonadira Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011
That's awesome that you expressed your emotion in such a beautiful way. I love it, you are a strong person <3 ^_^
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much :)
I appreciate your kind words.
Reply
:iconpolyfreak:
polyfreak Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2011  Professional Filmographer
yourself? is not enough?
Reply
:iconyaromanzarek:
YaroManzarek Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011  Professional Interface Designer
You're :iconforeveraloneplz: in person!
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
HUGGELS!!!!!!!!!!
I shall hold you close in the biggest warmest glomp today!

I like your typography plaine but attractive!
never been one for fancy typography well done for captivating this type haters attention!
Very pretty and yet sad piece!

I hope you find someone special to fill your life with joy!
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww thank you. :meow:
Reply
:iconcat-noodles:
Cat-Noodles Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
You are most welcome fine person!
Reply
:iconhanyouinny:
HanyouInny Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:D
Reply
:icont-loid:
T-LOID Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011
You forgot a bit:

"I have NO FRIENDS
because I push everyone away
by being a pussy emo."
Reply
:iconros-kovac:
Ros-Kovac Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Also you HAVE a lot of dependent tendencies and emo-faggotery that you should keep to yourself.
Reply
:iconcbluff:
Cbluff Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
<3
Reply
:iconfellenwort:
fellenwort Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011  Student General Artist
Time to get a hobby, maybe?...
Reply
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