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I haven't drawn a damn thing in nearly a month.  And I don't have any time this week either.  I love my classes right now, and the short film I'm crewing on is great to work on, but man, I wish I could have a solid day to just sit and draw.  Classes take up the entire week.  Shooting days take up the entire weekend.  Not much time left over.  

I'm dying to do a fan art pic of Edward from FullMetal Alchemist.  If I don't do one soon, I feel like I'm going to explode.  (I've only seen 4 eps of this show so far, but I'm definitely hooked.  The two main characters are so sweet.  Too bad I don't have much time to watch anime either.  Argh.)  

So, apologies for not hanging around here much.  Seems like I never hang around much, actually.  It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I can't.  Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well.  I'll sit back, relax, and look through deviations from my watchlist the first chance I get.  Hopefully that'll be soon.  I miss hanging around here.  :(
  • Watching: FullMetal Alchemist
I hate Fed-Ex.

They've wasted hours and hours of my life, drowned me in a sea of circular red-tape bullshit, told me inaccurate information on a number of occasions, contradicted themselves more than once, and repeatedly impressed me with their immeasurably profound incompetence.  

They've failed to deliver vital packages in time for deadlines.  They've failed to deliver packages, period.  They've screwed me over again and again.  I've never had such difficulties with any other parcel service.  

(I never send anything by them.  But unfortunately, other people use them to send stuff to me. :(  )

Unbelievable.  Simply unbelievable.  

So help me, may they slowly rot in Hell.
I posted the following at another forum I frequent, so for those who have seen this, sorry for the repetition.  But I wanted to post it here, since the skill level of the artists here are a little higher in general than at that other site.  So.....

When you draw a pic, does the finished product ever come close to what you pictured in your head? Is it ever as good? Does it upset you if it doesn't look like what you imagined? Or are you okay with that?

I've been drawing for a really long time, and I feel I've improved a lot over the years. But the pics I draw still rarely ever look like what I'd imagined in my head. They're never as good, and except for a few rare occasions, they're nowhere even close to the image I imagined.

I still like my art though. Just because it doesn't come out the way I envisioned it, doesn't mean I dislike it.

But I sometimes wonder. How long am I going to have to practice before my pics start matching the images in my brain? Or will they ever match up at all? Do the godlike artists I admire have the same problem? Are their gorgeous artworks nothing compared to the gorgeous imagery in their minds? Does any artist ever reach that point?  
  • Watching: Naruto series

Feeling a bit rusy

Tue Aug 3, 2004, 1:50 PM
Did a pic today, and man, am I rusty.  Haven't really had the time to draw much, and I hadn't done a finished pic since June.  Not to mention I'm on a new comp, and my tablet settings feel all screwy.  LOL.  So anyhoo.... I gotta get back into the swing of things artwise.  

Um... There is no way I'm going to be able to respond to all the messages/comments/etc. that have accumulated since June.  It's very nice of people to leave comments, but I can't get to all of them.  Sorry!  :(  I'm bad.

Anyway, I hope everyone has been well.  Haven't been around much in the last couple of months, but my schedule has let up somewhat, at least until school starts.  So yay, I get to relax for a few weeks.  Life is good.

Click me, baby!  Yeah!
  • Watching: Naruto series

Contest deadline approaching

Thu Jul 29, 2004, 9:20 PM
Hi everyone,  this is just a reminder about my Rurouni Kenshin contest.  Deadline is Saturday, July 31, 2004 at 11:59 PM Pacific time.  Click on the banner below for rules and info.  :)

And yes, I will be coming out of hermit mode eventually.  I haven't had much time for drawing lately, but I've finally got some freetime coming up.  I'll hopefully be able to spend more time poking around at DA.  Thanks to everyone who left comments while I was away.  And wow, I have so many devwatch pics by cool artists to catch up on!  

Click me, baby!  Yeah!
  • Listening to: Rachmaninov, piano concerto #4
  • Reading: Rurouni Kenshin vol. 5
  • Watching: Queen Margot

Hermit Mode

Mon Jun 21, 2004, 8:08 PM
Hello everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around much lately.  There are comments I should respond to and people I should thank, but I'm going into hermit mode a little bit, so I'm afraid I might not get to everyone.  

I really gotta get my scattered brain in gear for my exam, so I'm trying not to come here since this site is so damned addicting.  LOL.  (In case you're wondering why I'm so anal about this test.... It cost a lot of money, and if I fail it, that's a lot to go to waste.)

Anyway, thanks to those who are watching or who have commented on or faved any of my pics.  I really appreciate it.  It's very nice of you folks.

And if anyone is interested in the RK contest I'm holding... *wide doe eyes*... do send your entries in, please.  The quicker you send 'em, the less annoying begging you'll have to put up with from me.  Heh.


Click me, baby!  Yeah!
  • Listening to: Rachmaninov, piano concerto #4
  • Reading: Rurouni Kenshin vol. 5
  • Watching: Queen Margot

Stressed about not being stressed!

Thu Jun 17, 2004, 12:53 AM
<center><big>Rurouni Kenshin Fan Art Contest</big>
(Click the link. You know you wanna.)</center>

I.  Can't.  Study!  I've got a huge exam on July 10th, and I can't seem to get my mind focused enough to study for it.  Sure, it seems a long ways away, but I've got years and years worth of material to re-learn.  Gah!  

I was supposed to take this exam last year, but due to an administrative screw-up, I couldn't until this year.  Which really sucks.  Because, problem is, I've now been in grad school for a completely unrelated field for the last year, and I've forgotten just about everything that the test covers.

But I can't focus.  My mind wanders terribly.  I've tried keeping myself away from the comp. I've tried going to the library.  I've tried studying at different times during the day.  But nothing's working.  It's frustrating.  :(  

Oh well.  Maybe it's because I absolutely hate the subject matter.  I hated it while I was learning it years ago, and I hate it still now.  Bah.

Other stuff....

I have to apologize for my last pic showing up in people's messages multiple times.  I was told that it showed up 4-5 times.  So sorry about that!  I had no idea.  I mean, I revised it, but not that many times!  I'm not sure why it did that?  I'm going to fix up the pic one more time, but after that, I promise.  No more revisions.  Eep.  Speaking of which, thanks to Toji for the lovely art:…

Saw Harry Potter III and Chronicles of Riddick.... Man, I love summer flicks.  They're so much fun.  HPIII was better than the first two, IMHO, although I'm not speaking as a HP fan.  Never cared to read the books, and most likely never will.  But I liked seeing the kids a bit more mature, and the darkness of this third one was nice.  

The only thing I really didn't like was the (IMO) worse production value of this one.  It lacked the polish of the first two, and the "realistic" feel the director was going for seemed more suited to an indie/foreign film than a Harry Potter film.  (Esp. the handheld home-video cam-type sequence in the beginning of the film.  What the heck was that for?  Jarred me right out of the film.)  Not sure if that made sense, but eh....

Riddick was not as good as Pitch Black.  Should have kept the grit and made it an R instead of PG, but that's just my opinion on it.  Heh.  Still.  It was fun to watch.  I like explosions and plenty o' shootin'.  

Okay.  That's enough for my break.  Back to the books.  (Don't know why I bother.  I read the same damn paragraph 3 or 4 times, and I still have no idea what I just read.  Ugh.)

<center>HB's RK Fan Art Contest</center>
  • Listening to: Rachmaninov, piano concerto #4
  • Reading: Rurouni Kenshin vol. 5
  • Watching: Queen Margot
click me, baby!  you know you wanna
It's Shameless Plug Time

I'm hosting a contest.  Yay!  It's for Rurouni Kenshin fan art.  Yay!  Open all the way until the end of July.  Yay!  And the prizes are REAL.  Yay!  

So please take a look if you have nothing better to do over the summer.  :)

That is all.  
First off, thanks to those who commented on my last entry.  :)  I got back yesterday afternoon.  Yes, it was a very nice vacation.  Very relaxing.  :)

We visited a few national parks (Redwood, Crater Lake, and Lassen) and hiked up some trails.  No camping though (thank goodness, I'm not much of a camper).  Saw lots of beautiful scenery (took tons of photos, lol) as well as some wildlife including a bear.  Also took a quick trip to Alcatraz.  That was interesting too.  

Saw some movies as well.  Heh, I can't resist going to the movies.  Saw The Day After Tomorrow, which wasn't too bad, considering I had low expectations of it.  It was better than I thought it would be, and I had fun.  Had to totally ignore any scientific knowledge though in order to suspend disbelief.  

Also saw a really wonderful Japanese movie called Twilight Samurai.  Contemplative pacing, understated (yet pretty emotionally intense, for me anyway), and just all around wonderful.  I'm gonna have to look for that one on DVD if it's ever released.  I really enjoyed it.  

Anyway, it's good to be back.  First thing I did when I came back was to paint, LOL.  As much as I enjoyed myself, I really missed Photoshop.  How sad is that?  LOL.  
  • Watching: Twilight Samurai
Oookay.  I'm leaving tomorrow morning at an ungodly hour.  Going on vacation with the fam.  It'll be the first time in many years since we all travelled together, so I'm looking forward to it.  Mom and Dad want to go trekking all over the mountains in northern Cali, so that's what we're doing for a week.   It'll be a fun adventure.  I hope my brother and I can keep up with them.  Ha!

So anyway. I'll be gone for the rest of this month.  Won't be back until June.  So if anyone sends me a note and doesn't get a response, I'm not ignoring you.  I'm probably lost in the mountains somewhere.  :D

Hmm.  So many pic ideas.  They'll just have to wait....
A week ago, I learned that one of my favorite teachers at grad school applied for tenure and didn't get it, and therefore was not going to be returning to teach in the fall.  Needless to say, I was very upset about this.  So were most of my classmates.  

This particular teacher has a reputation for being somewhat pessimistic and cynical.  But his students really love him.  His dry humor and pessimism are actually funny and endearing.  And he's just one hell of a good teacher.  Makes potentially boring subject material into something fun and interesting.

So a bunch of us e-mailed the administration asking them to please reconsider their decision.  We each made our own pleas, and we each gave glowing praise to this teacher.  The funny thing is, we did this all on our own, and each of us did not know the other students were doing the same thing.

Anyway, yesterday I found out that our e-mails on our teacher's behalf apparently made a difference.  The administration listened and reconsidered.  And he's now going to be back to teach in the fall.  

I was so very pleased.  I feel so good about everything right now.  It's really nice to know that we have faculty and administration who care about students' opinions enough to act on them.  And it's absolutely wonderful to know that a great teacher will be able to return again because his students love him and spoke up for him.  

Man, I haven't felt this good about something I've done in a long time.  It's nice to know that a single student like me can help make a difference.  
I've had pics taken and posted without my permission plenty of times before.  I've also had my artwork taken and used in banners, sigs for forums, websites, etc.  without my permission.  

But today was the first time I found a flat out case of art theft where someone posted one of my pics (and not even a very good one) on DA and claimed it as their own.

I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted.  Or maybe I should feel initiated somehow?  Heh.  Needless to say, I asked the person (privately) to please take down the pic.  

*sigh*  I will never understand the mindset of art thieves.
I woke up this morning with my feet on my pillow and my head at the foot of my bed.  Covers strewn all over the place, some on the floor.  I know I move in my sleep sometimes, but sheesh!  And I didn't even remember whatever I dreamed last night.  Weird.
I've been really busy lately, so I haven't been able to lurk around here as much as I'd like.  Sorry.  I hope I'll have some time later this week!  :(

I just finished my project that I'd been working on for the last 8 weeks.  So that work is done.  But now I start working on my partner's project for the next 8 weeks.  So there's really not much of a break.  

I'm technically on Spring Break right now, but it hasn't been much of a vacation so far.  Everyone in my class has started working on their projects, using the time from vacation to get pre-production stuff done.  (We're film students.)  Most of my classmates (including me, obviously) are sticking around school working on our projects.

I spent the whole morning today making phone calls to schedule people for auditions.  Then my partner and I went driving around town doing location scouting all afternoon and early evening.  

Came home to find my e-mail and snail mail bombarded with more submissions, so I spent the last 6 hours making more phone calls and sending out e-mails.  Argh!  I never want to see a phone again.

Tomorrow, we hold auditions and meetings with various crew members all day.  Gonna get up at 7AM and will get home at 10PM if I'm lucky.  And this is my vacation.  Weeee!

But I love what I do.  I mean I really, really love it.

So I guess it's all worth it, and I should quit whining.  :)
I just saw a woman standing around eating food in a public bathroom today.  It was not the cleanest of bathrooms, and it made me feel vaguely sick to my stomache.  Granted, I have a cold right now, so maybe I felt sick just because of that, but I doubt it.  Why was she eating there of all places?  Weird....

I'm in a list making mood.  Well, really, I'm procrastinating.  But here goes...

Things I find at least mildly disturbing:

---People who stand around and eat in smelly public bathrooms
---Unsupervised young children playing near a busy street
---Moms who bottlefeed their babies soft drinks
---People who pop a ton of Aspirins or Tylenols at once
---People who moisten their contact lenses with their spit
---Graphic lemon stories... written by 13 year-olds (gah!)
---Those who don't wash their hands after they've been to the bathroom

I'm sure there's more.  
I've been mildly obsessed with silhouettes and windows lately.  Two of my last three pics have featured these.  I'm not sure where this current fascination came from.

Other pleasant obsessions/addictions:
---Boba drinks:  Honey milk tea in particular.
---RK, but you all knew that already.
---Vellux blankets.  So soft and warm....
---Taking random digital photos.  Wee, no skill whatsoever!
---The Pacific ocean.
---Veggie burgers with bacon.  (Mmmm!)
---Indian food.  (Spicy as they can make it.)
---The Return of the King soundtrack, track 4 in particular.
Sorry I haven't been able to respond to people's comments lately.  I've been busy on a project for school.  My project partner and I have been working every weekend for the last few weeks, and we're going to keep this pace for many weeks more.  

It's not the busiest I've been, but it is the busiest I've been since joining Deviant Art.  Feel kind of guilty not responding to people and just lurking quietly, but well, you know how addictive this site can be.  Once you start commenting on one thing, you get sucked in, and next thing you know, you've just blown 3 hours looking at pretty pics and surfing until your eyeballs feel fuzzy.

So I'm resisting the temptation and going silent for a while until this project is done.  (For the curious, it's a film project.  Sucks up hours like you wouldn't believe.)

If only there were more hours in a day....
A friend of mine and I were talking tonight while we were driving through the city.  My friend (who is from Tokyo) thought that the city was much darker compared to Tokyo.  

I was really surprised, since, to me, the city is far too bright.  I can barely see the stars here.  The sky is never completely black.  The night is never completely dark.

I miss the darkness.  I miss being able to see the stars blanketing the entire sky.  I miss seeing meteor showers.  

Once a long time ago, my friends and I drove up to a rural mountainous area where it was so dark that we could barely see our hands in front of our faces.  We spread a blanket on the ground and lay on our backs looking up at the sky.  It was a beautiful night.  I'd never seen so many stars in my life.  I could clearly see the Milky Way.  And for the first time ever, I could see man-made satellites tracking in criss-cross paths across the sky.  All of that to the gentle sound of crickets.  It was a magical night.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is.  I guess I don't really have one.  I really like living in the city.  But I just miss seeing the stars here, I guess.  I mean, I can see a few, but only the brightest ones.  
Wee, I just got my first accusation of art theft today.  Initially, I was pissed!  Now I'm just amused.  It's hard to stay in a bad mood when I've just consumed a delicious mint brownie.  
As much as I love going home and spending time with my parents, it's so nice to be back in my apartment on my own computer again.  I especially missed my computer.  My parents (bless 'em) have a dial-up connection that kills me with its ungodly slowness.  It's like waiting for water to boil.  It's like watching erosion.  Ugh.  So, I didn't get to surf around on DA much over winter break, since the loading times were so ridiculously long.  

The only thing I don't like about coming back home to my own place is the weather.  Too ******* hot out here!  It's January, for Pete's sake.  Man, I miss the snow.  :(