Beautiful title^^ there are just some titles that ‘draws the reader in instantly’ and this defiantly is one in my opinion.
I love the word usage in this, there is a certain simplicity to it that gives it that effective touching feel that melts your heart.
The simple rhymes were ‘neat’ and beautiful also. As for the flow it was a bit off but I don’t think that had too much of an effect on the entire poem, just the length of the sentences varied a little to much but nonetheless it was still an effective poem, I guess the simplicity effected it so is that the structure needed not show itself off too much, but I thought it as a pity you broke your little pattern of words starting off at the start of the line, for example;
in dreams can it be caressed,
dreams, I have not.
in hopes can it be seen,
see, I cannot.
and think you should have kept it up maybe.
Anyway I must agree nicely ended, my favourite stanza was;
‘All the world can try to stop you,
And all the world may succeed.
But they’d only make it better for us.
If you were dead, like me.’
Lovely job, you put a lot of emotion into simple words, and give it such strenght and that takes talent