Tales from the Los Lobos 16

So much life has happened since the last update, But they're back and still nothing goes their way.

Ships courtesy of

Sovereign engine room from .
uniforms, skin and hair courtesy of 

Trill Spots from

Bridge from 3dwarehouse.sketchup.com/model…

Thyl: You can’t be serious.

Heath: I am Thyl.

Thyl: Six hours?

Heath: Well given how much time I’ve spent trying to explain, it’s more like five and a half, but yes.

Thyl: We can’t do that.

Heath: Would you rather be serving on the USS Barbie Boat?

Paris: Please ma’am try to understand. It’s not so much we won’t do it; it’s we don’t know how to do it.

Heath: What do you mean?

Selet: We… I… no we is correct this time…. We don’t know enough about the time drive to get that kind of performance out of the drive.

Thyl: You need an expert in temporal mechanics.

Heath: Well its good thing I have one on board

Thyl: Ma’am?

Heath: Paris, make sure the control connections are stable and transfer them to bridge. We're getting underway in ten minutes

Paris: I don’t understand, but whatever you say ma’am

 

Jasmin: You're joking right?

Heath: Sadly, no.

Jasmin: You attack me, hold me prisoner, go through my ship stealing my stuff...

Heath: Technically, she belongs to herself.

Jasmin: Have your thugs here force me to read old history texts, and you expect me to help you?

Heath: Yes.

Jasmin: That hair dye really has eroded your brain. Why would I ever help you?

Heath: One, you’ve been hiding a stolen android from both Section 31 and Temporal Affairs. I can’t imagine what they would do to you if they found out.

Jasmin: …

Heath: Plus, in your timeline we won the race. We can't do that on our own. So, if you want any chance if ever being to go home, we have to win and you have to help us do that.

Jasmin: …

Heath: Well?

Jasmin: This is extortion.

Heath: Yes, it is.

Jasmin: And I despise the fact that you have a point about my timeline. 

Heath: So, you'll help?

Jasmin: What choice do I have, you evil cow? Congratulations. You're well on your way to becoming the dark empress.

Heath: That remains to be seen. Let her out Sydem, she's coming with me to the bridge.

 

Heath: Alright ladies, if you'll just...

Nora: You know, I thought it would be bigger.

Heath: What?

Nora: Considering everything that happens here, I thought the bridge would be bigger.

Jasmin: Things are never as impressive as you think. 

Nezima:Silence your disrespectful tones or I shall kill you both.

 

Jasmin: Seriously? Try and I’ll break your nails.

Nezima: You leave me alone!

Jasmin: See, all bark no... OH MY GOD! YOU LET IT OUT? IT’LL KILL US ALL!

Nora: Do I know you?

Nezima: Apparently, she’s the one who dressed you up like that

Jasmin: TRAITOROUS ORION COW!

Nora: YOU PUT ME IN THIS OUTFIT?

Jasmin: Please, don’t let it hurt me! I’ll behave! I’ll do whatever you want! Just keep it away!

Heath: LADIES! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!

 

Heath: Nora, I need her intact. Could you postpone your vengeance for now?

Nora: Yes ma’am. Vengeance postponed.

Heath: Thank you.

Nora: But not forgotten.

Heath: Prophets above. Alright you three. We have a race to win and we need your help. Now get to your positions!

Nezima: You haven't told us our positions yet.

Heath: Prophets ab... Nezima, Hollis…

Jasmin: That’s senior…

Heath: You two sit at the auxiliary engineering consoles. They're labeled cloaking system and temporal drive. I trust you can find the right one.

Nezima: You can count on us.

Heath: Nora…

Nora: Is it vengeance time?

Heath: Not yet, you sit at the aux science station and keep track of what those nanites are doing to my ship.

Nora: You want me to help... yes ma'am! I won’t let you down Captain Perfect Bottom

 

T’Pranng: All stations report ready.

Heath: Thank you T’Pranng

Truzena: Thank you for the chair ma'am. These boots were killing my ankles.

Heath: I'm not that cruel Tru. Are we ready?

R’shee: That’s my child…

Heath: R’shee…

R’shee: She’s my child…

Heath: R’shee…

R’shee: I’m going to be a mother…

 

Heath: *grab*

R’shee: …ahhh…

Truzena:..nnghrh…

Lorrie: ...no no no no..

Heath: Focus R’shee. I need your mind here

 

R’shee: Yes mistress…

Heath: What?

R’shee: I mean captain

Truzena: Damnit captain don’t do that without warning us

Heath: Sorry, but we’re running out of time.Now are we all ready?

R’shee: Yes ma’am.

Heath: Good. Aunlel, set course for Vulcan. Maximum warp.

Aunlel: Ooo yes ma’am.

Heath: Let her run.

 

Aunlel: We’ve reached *shudder*warp 9.985

Truzena: Not you as well

Heath: Aunlel, are you alright?

Aunlel: I’m fine *shudder* ma’am

Paris: You do remember she has a speed fetish

Aunlel: Shut up Paris!

Paris: The faster we go, the more turned on she gets

Heath: Prophets, I down have time for this. Nezima, activate the cloak.

Nezima: Cloak engaged. They can’t see us now.

Heath: Alright now. Hollis…

Jasmin: That’s senior cadet…

Heath: Whatever. Do what you’re supposed to.

Jasmin: Engaging temporal drive. Adjusting temporal distortion level…

 

T’Pranng: Our speed is increasing exponentially captain. I cannot calculate an accurate warp factor but as the humans say, we are ‘hauling ass’.

Paris: She right ma’am. Screw slipstream. We’re just this side of warp 10. We are the fastest thing in the galaxy…

 

 

Aunlel: *AAHHH*

Truzena: There are times, I hate this ship.

 

 

Alexa: Captain’s log.

The Archimedes is heading back home after an extend survey of the Beta quadrant. Despite my best efforts to keep spirits high, the crew seems more impatient than normal to get back to dock. Perhaps the weekly costume contests weren’t a good idea. In any case we…

 

 

*whoosh*

 

Alexa: Goodness me, V'Lafav what the hell was that?

V'Lafav : A temporal disturbance of some kind captain. It’s moving at phenomenal speed and appears to be on a course for Vulcan.

Alexa: Contact Starfleet. Priority one.

 

Earth Space Dock

 

Wallace: I wish I could have seen the look on her face when you told her about the slipstream drive.

T’Shoak: The look of consternation on her face was most pleasing.

Wallace: The look on her face when she has to submit that request will be even better. Well, let’s not keep her waiting. Time to get underway Number 1.

Number 1: Yes sir. Kilbru, contact Space Dock for departure clearance.

Kilbru : Yes, Ma’am. Space Dock control, this is the Lexington.  Preparing for departure to Vulcan.

Dock: Negative Lexington. You have new orders.

 

Wallace: Come again control?

Dock: There is an anomaly moving at high speed through the quadrant on a course for Vulcan. We are assembling a task force to intercept. However, currently you are the fastest ship in the area with the best chance of intercepting it before it gets too close.

T’Shoak: It couldn’t be…

Wallace: What?

T’Shoak: Never mind. Lexington acknowledged. We are moving out now to intercept.

 

 

 

Aunlel: I’m so sorry ma’am. I’m so embarrassed.

Heath: I trust this won’t happen again during our trip.

Paris: No, she’s a one-time girl

Aunlel: SHUT UP PARIS!

Heath: Prophets above. ETA to Vulcan?

T’Pranng: At current speed, four hours.

Heath: Well ahead of the Lexington. Good.

Truzena: I am so getting drunk and shooting something later

 

T’Pranng: Captain, Starfleet has issued a quadrant wide red alert.

Heath: *Sigh* it would have been nice to stick it to them but duty calls. What’s happening?

T’Pranng: There’s a temporal anomaly moving through the area at extremely high warp heading toward… Vulcan.

Heath: *sigh* They’re talking about us, aren’t they?

T’Pranng: It looks like it ma’am.

Jasmin: So, their primitive sensors did detect the temporal variance.

Heath: What temporal variance?

Jasmin: The one I put in the temporal field so they could see us.

 

Heath: WHY?

Jasmin: You’re supposed to win then be exposed for cheating remember?

Heath: Did it occur to you that if the entire quadrant is coming for us that we won’t even make to Vulcan in the first place?

Jasmin: I… oops.

R’shee: Her father must be an idiot. I need better taste in men

Nora: Now, is it vengeance time?