GuildmasterPhill's avatar

GuildmasterPhill

Adventurers' Guild Author
168 Watchers
70.5K
Page Views
797 Deviations
GuildmasterPhill's avatar

It's funny to see just how fast everyone stopped putting up journals as soon as this Eclipse happened...

2 Comments
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
GuildmasterPhill's avatar

The Mary Sue of Minecraft

3 min read

I want to do a firm criticism about something very daft and stupid and not befitting any of my more professional blogs, so I figure deviantart is just the place for that!


So let's get to it. Let's talk about... the most recent Minecraft update.

Specifically, let's talk about the bizarre choice to include these things called axolotls. Now, seeing as my kids and I watch a lot of nature documentaries as part of the nightly go-to-bed rigamaroll, I knew what this animal was. For most people, however, I do not believe that is the case. I think it's popular in specific niches, but hey, they somehow decide to go with that for the update.

Yes, they go with an extremely rare and exotic salamander type thing that few people ever see in the wild. Forget including much more common animals, like a lizard. or a seagull. or a bear. (not polar or panda, rather rare types of bears. just a plain ol bear, yo) or a frog! No, it has to be an extremely niche and unique species.

The point is, it was a bad decision in my opinion. There are lot of other things that should have been higher up the queue in add-to-update priority.


But they just had to go and make it more unique and disgustingly adorable in all its amazing and unique quirks, uwu. It can become you personal companion and fight bad guys with you! This makes sense for a tamed dog, or a hypothetical tamed falcon animal, (that would have been a better choice to add.) But this is just a stupid cave lizard, everyone; it knows not the concept of loyalty towards humans. But forget about that... if it hits its head too hard when attacking, it gets stunned, awwww.... it's pichu levels of adorable clumsiness. And then, you can just return it to its pokeball. I mean, water bucket.

So it seems to me that mojang's not so much adding aminals to Minecraft, they're adding pokemon companion-like creatures. This was probably foreshadowed in the addition of the over-the-top-adorable fox and all its abilities, like holding and attacking with swords and making cute little noises when it sleeps. and sleeping.

Did I mention that the axolotls make cute lil squeaks? I firmly doubt that happens in IRL. Disgusting.

Oh, and it has pokemon-shiny-style rare variations just to make eveyone get hyper obsessed for no reason and shot poggers in the chat. Yes, everyone simply must grind and grind to breed the rare blue one which has like the same chances of dropping as a sealed J-sword or something. (I regret saying "grind to breed")


The axolotl is truly the Mary Sue of Minecraft creatures. What ever happened to new animals that seem to actually reflect the roles that they fill in nature... that being very little? Those types of creatures are easier to program by far.

Even the other new creatures, the goats, they felt the need to give a rare variant in the screaming variety. And the magic new glowing squid does just fine at doing nothing and being useless! How backwards is that? Keep Minecraft simple!


If you ever invite me to play on your server, make sure to hide your axololtl farm. I cannot stand these things.

0 Comments
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
GuildmasterPhill's avatar

Oof, I didn't realize just how deep "scraps" get buried nowadays. I used to use scraps as a folder before DA had folders. Need to update my ways.

Excuse me while I go and rescue several cool pics from the scrapyard.

0 Comments
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
GuildmasterPhill's avatar

I've finally implemented the newsletter subscription feature to my writer website. Sign up, if you please! It will let you know when new blogs come out. (now, to write some new blogs...) https://phillipmacarthur.com/index.php/newsletter/

0 Comments
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
GuildmasterPhill's avatar

Quick new post-episode Adventurers' Guild blog update here!: https://adventurersguildcomic.com/custom_type/episode-9-down-da-hatch/

0 Comments
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

Fortune's favorite fate by GuildmasterPhill, journal

Adventurers' Guild reading + NEW SKETCH REQUESTS by GuildmasterPhill, journal

Adventurers' Guild is coming here too! by GuildmasterPhill, journal

Unfortunate request thingy closed early. by GuildmasterPhill, journal

Anime-style sketch requests open! by GuildmasterPhill, journal