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Literature
Steamed Hams, but it's a TAOT parody
*We open at the driver's hut in Ffarquhar, The Fat Controller arrives and rings the doorbell, Thomas answers the door, sporting an apron*
Fat Controller: "Well, Thomas, I made it, despite your directions."
Thomas: "Ah, Sir Topham, welcome, I hope you are ready for an unforgettable luncheon."
*the Fat Controller walks in and sits at the table*
Fat Controller: "Yeah..."
*Thomas goes into the kitchen*
Thomas *gasps as he sees smoke coming from the oven, running to it and slowly opens the oven door*: "Egads, my roast is ruined!"
*Thomas turns to the window, and nearby is a McDonald's*
Thomas: "But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my cooking?" 
*he chuckles*
Thomas: "Delightfully Devilish, Thomas."
*he cracks open the window and starts to put his leg out just as The Fat Controller steps in*
Fat Controller: "Ah..."
INTRO CARD
Thomas, with his crazy explainations.... The Railway's superinte
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Literature
TAOT: Birdstrike
Henry: "I know what a jubilee is, it's an engine called Bahamas, I had the pleasure of meeting its crew whilst my engine was being overhauled at Crewe after the Kipper incident."
Percy: "Isn't a sort of party? Thomas, Twilight, Pinkie, and I took some scouts to one, once."
Twilight *adjusts her work cap, and chuckles*: "Actually, Percy, that was a jamboree." 
Percy: "Was it? Sorry."
Narrator: Gordon just smiled.
Gordon: "Actually, it's a train, Amanda, my sister who drives Flying Scotsman, told me. Back in the heydays of steam, the Silver Jubilee used to run from London."
Henry: "But, we aren't London." 
James: "And, if I might add, if it's a train, then why do we need it?"
Fat Controller: "We don't..."
Narrator: the crews turned to find both controllers alongside Luna and Sunset Shimmer, all looking very smartly dressed. 
Fat Controller: "Our jubilee is a golden one, as of this year, it has been 50 years since the Thin Clergyman wrote stories
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Literature
TAOT: Wired Up
Narrator: As soon as Percy came home, the two controllers came to see Wilbert. 
Fat Controller: "You've done well so far, apart from filling your engine's tank with all that milk."
Wilbert: "Err... I'm sorry about that sir, I..."
Fat Controller: "It's quite alright, Wilbert, it's honestly a mistake that anyone could have made."
Thomas: "Yeah, there was the time I accidentally filled my engine's tanks with fish."
Celestia: "Quite right Thomas, anyway, now that Percy's back, you can go help out Duck on the Little Western as we had originally intended for you."
Narrator: Wilbert set off for the Little Western, as the Ffarquhar branchline staff were sorry to see him go. Both Duck, Vinyl, Oliver and Cheerilee all made him welcome. Duck even let Wilbert's engine travel in front of his on his train, so that he could see what the line was like. Wilbert quite enjoyed it, he felt that running alongside the coast was very different to the valley in Gloucestershire. The next day, he bega
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Literature
TAOT: Foaming at the Funnel
Narrator: There's a dairy on Thomas' branchline at the station where the lines divide to go either to the harbor, or to the junction. Every afternoon, special tanker wagons are shunted into the dairy siding, where they are filled with milk and Percy takes them to the junction on his first train every morning. As Percy's engine was still being repaired, Wilbert was to take care of it. Thomas explained this to Wilbert.
Thomas: "There's this hosepipe which puts the milk into the tankers, they'll be ready by the time you get there for the first train."
Wilbert: "That sounds easy enough."
Narrator: Thomas told Wilbert a great many other details as well, he listened carefully, trying hard to remember them all. Next day, he was enjoying himself,  his engine was much more powerful than Percy's, so he found that he could handle Percy's trains easily. The delinquents behaved well too, which was a help. 
Delinquents: "oy, he's strong, he is. Don't upset 'im. you never know what he mi
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Literature
TAOT: Cab Over Wheels
Wilbert: "You are all lucky to have such a long line, mine's only one and a half miles long, with a station at Norchard and another at Lydney, The scenery's beautiful though, and most of my passengers say that its better up the valley. Our railway's volunteers are going to open up that bit too, they work hard, but it does take a long time."
Narrator: One of Wilbert's first jobs was to work in the old lead mines. Thomas gave him some advice.
Thomas: "Don't pass the danger notice, because one time, I drove my engine down one of the mines."
Twilight: "Yes, I remember you being scolded severely by Assistant Controller Celestia that day."
*Thomas blushes from embarrassment*
Wilbert: "Prior to working on my current railway, I worked in a colliery, so I do know about Danger notices, but there was a chap I knew who once thought he knew better. 
Toby/Henrietta/Applejack/Thomas/Twilight: "Well, what happened?"
Wilbert: "He didn't really have a name, we just called him by the numbe
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Literature
TAOT: Percy's Porridge
Narrator: Donald, Douglas, Lyra and Bon-Bon were all rushed off their feet, and so were their engines, being rushed off their wheels. Sunset Shimmer came to see them as part of her controller training. 
Sunset: "Now, I know you don't mind hard work, but you can't be everywhere at once. You'll need some help on the branchlines."
Narrator: The two crews were grateful.
Donald: "Thank ye, Sunset."
Douglas: "Aye, a wee bit of assistance shall shurely be a big help for us."
Sunset: "The two controllers have a plan."
Narrator: The Fat and Assistant Controllers were visiting an old friend of Sir Topham's, who lived in Gloucestershire on the mainland where Celestia explained the problem.
Celestia: "So, as you've heard from both of us, our two Caledonian mixed traffic engines need assistance on the multiple branchlines our railway has. And we need a little extra help."
DFR Controller: "I think I have just the solution, Sir Topham."
Narrator: The friend took them to see Wilbert, who drove a
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Literature
TAOT: Henry Sees Red
Narrator: Henry found life boring at Crovan's Gate Works, while he did have Victor, the man who helped run the workshops to talk to, as well as Kevin, Victor's assistant who was rather clumsy at times, he still was rather bored. Fluttershy had pre-occupied herself by helping out on the Skarloey Railway. The men had worked hard to fix his engine but it had seemed ages before his engine was ready. At last, however, when his engine had passed its final tests to make sure it was fixed properly, men came to repaint his engine. But Henry saw that instead of his engine's usual nice green paint, they had something very different in their paint pots.
Henry: "Th.that's not right! The Controllers want my engine to be green with red stripes, not red all over, like tomato sauce!"
Victor *laughs*: "Don't worry my friend, your engine's looking very distinguished and this paint's a special sort of undercoat to help keep water out and to prevent rust damage. Your engine's going to have its proper liver
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Literature
TAOT: Sliding Scales
Narrator: Now because Henry's engine was at the Works, the others had to help with the Flying Kipper as well. This is a rather special and important train of vans loaded up with boxes of fish which goes to markets in London and other places on the mainland. James, in particular didn't like the train, 
James *gags*: "All those smelly vans, you can't get the smell off your clothes for weeks!"
Rarity: "I have to agree, I've had to take numerous baths after our turns, and I still reek of the sea. But, it's got to be done anyway."
Gordon: "That may be true, but I'm very fond of a good kipper, add some potatoes, and mmmm" *he smacks his lips*
James *retorts*: "You're welcome to it!"
Rarity: "A right old misery today, aren't you, old friend? You must've woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and no mistake, now come on, we've got work to do, or the Fat Controller's going to give you something to moan about."
*James begrudgingly opens the re
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Literature
A New Life in Equestria: PROLOGUE
Life in the human world had its ups and downs for sure, but eventually, even I had had enough of it. I read from various sources how they've experienced visiting Equestria, which lay in an alternate dimension. I truly wanted to leave the world behind, and all it took was to summon Princess Celestia which I did, staring at a photograph of her which I had printed off of the internet.
"Oh Princess Celestia, please, hear my case." I called out. Within just a few moments, a blinding beam of light filled my small apartment and within the light was an alicorn, who shone as bright as the sun. "Yes?" came a soft and kind voice. "What is it?" *I can't believe it worked." I thought to myself as my eyes adjusted to see Celestia standing there. "Dear Princess, I don't like living in the human world anymore. I feel as if my true calling would be to live in Equestria, amongst your friends and subjects, and just so you know I'm being one hundred percent about going forward with this. I definetl
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Literature
TAOT: Overhaul
Narrator: One day, as Henry's engine was idling in a siding in Tidmouth, Sunset Shimmer, (who under the tutelage of both controllers, seeking to succeed the Fat Controller once he retired) came to see him and Fluttershy. 
Sunset: "Hey guys, the Fat Controller's told me about what happened to your engine last week, it sounds like what it needs, is an overhaul."
Henry: "Yes, but does it mean that my engine has to go all the way over to Crewe again?"
Sunset: "Not at all, Henry, You won't believe this, but nowadays, the people over at Crewe couldn't do the work that your engine needs."
Narrator: Henry stared, and Sunset laughed.
Sunset: "Don't worry, the workmen at Crovan's Gate can do all the work, all that has to be done is getting your engine there. If James and Rarity get assigned to the express tomorrow, we can couple your engine up in front. Do what you can to help, and you can go to the Workshops in style.  
Narrator: That night, Henry told James about the arrangements,
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Literature
TAOT: Out of Puff
Narrator: The Wild Nor Westor Express service is a long heavy train and Gordon's big engine usually pulls it but only as far as Barrow, the connecting point to the Other Railway on the Mainland. There, another engine takes over and takes the train to London. It's a very important train too and must always run, no matter what happens. If Gordon is ill, or busy with another job, James or Henry's engines take charge of the train. They try their best and do well. Too well, perhaps because sometimes, the importance of the occasion goes to their head and makes them boastful. One day, Henry was feeling rather pleased with himself. His engine had run the express to time, and the two controllers had congratulated both he and Fluttershy for being so punctual and for a job well done.
Henry: "Honestly, I don't know what the Fat or Assistant Controllers would do without an engine like mine or a crew like Fluttershy and I.'
Fluttershy: "Uh, Henry, don't boast too much, we don't need you
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Literature
TAOT: Percy Runs Away (Re-Upload)
Narrator: Henry, James, and Gordon were miserable, they had been shut up for several days and suspended without pay for going on strike and longed to be able to go out and work with their engines again. At last, Assistant Controller Celestia came into the living room where all three were sitting on the couch. 
Celestia: "I hope that you three are sorry, and understand that you are not so important after all. we have a new employee named Percy who helps pull coaches, and Thomas, Twilight, Edward, and Octavia have worked the main line nicely. But, both the Fat Controller and I'll let you go back to work if you promise to be good and behave."
Gordon/James/Henry: "Yes ma'am, we will."
Celestia: "That's right, but please remember that this no shunting nonsense must stop."
Narrator:Then, Celestia told Percy, Pinkie Pie, Thomas, Twilight, Edward, and Octavia that they could go play on the branchlines for a few days as Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy would return
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Literature
TAOT: Thomas' Train (Re-Upload)
Narrator: Thomas was grumbling to the others as he worked his engine in the yard, bringing coaches to the Big Station. 
Thomas: "I spend my time shunting coaches about the yard, ready for you and your engines to take out on journeys".
Narrator: The other drivers and their firewomen only laughed.
Thomas: "Why can't I pull passenger trains too?"
Gordon: "Little Thomas, you're too impatient"
Henry: "Precisely, you'd be sure to leave something behind"
Thomas: "Rubbish, I'll show you"
Narrator: One night, he and Henry were alone, Henry was ill, the doctors worked hard but he didn't get better. He felt just as bad next morning. Henry usually pulled the morning local, and Thomas had to get his coaches ready.
Thomas: *pondering in his engine's cab* "If Henry is ill, then perhaps Twilight and I shall pull his train". 
Narrator: So away Thomas and Twilight went to fetch the coaches. 
Thomas: "Come along, Come along" 
Stewardess: "There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time
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Literature
TAOT: Thomas and Twilight Come Home
Narrator: Workmen were repairing the road near the level crossing. They sectioned off part of it with red and white cones, and a rather familiar steam roller rolled importantly along. Its driver's name of course, was George.
George: "Pah, I still think railways are no good, and that they should be torn up and turned into roads."
Narrator: He was a most unpleasant steamroller operator. 
Daisy: "Nonsense, no one could reach the villages in the valley without our railway."
George: "I'd build a road along your old tracks, nothing to it, my mates have done it all over the place." 
Narrator: At the station, Daisy told Percy and Toby what George had said to her. Toby was worried because he knew George was right. 
Toby: "George may be right about that, but the Fat and Assistant Controllers would never allow that to happen."
Narrator: But, he wasn't convinced. Daisy, on the other hand was reassured, but as she did her passenger runs each day, she was careful not to do anyt
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Literature
TAOT: Toby's Megatrain
Narrator: Toby was delighted to take Percy's stone trucks down to the harbour, he thought it to be a wonderful treat. Percy however, couldn''t understand why.
Percy: "It's only a harbour, nothing special about it."
Toby: "I like it, because, it reminds me of the old days, before Henrietta and I came to the Island. I worked at a harbour on the mainland. I told you about that, remember?"
Narrator: Because Toby's tram engine had only a small water tank, He always had to refill it at the station by the river. 
Toby: "Now, what if the tank runs out of water half way?" 
Henrietta; "We won't, dear." 
Toby: "But what if the water column breaks down, remember what Thomas told us years ago, and warning us about the river water?" 
Henrietta: "Don't worry my love, we're not going to go fishing."
Narrator: The harbour was busy, and Toby and Henrietta in their engine worked hard, Not only did the stone trucks have to be taken down, but also when they had been unloaded
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Literature
TAOT: Washout!
Narrator: Near the end of Thomas' branchline, there is a small station and close by, the railway crosses a stream on a small bridge. As the snow melted, the water levels rose higher and higher, rushing and swirling in a hurry to reach the river at the bottom of the valley. Each time that he and Pinkie Pie passed the place with their trains, Percy watched the river anxiously.
Pinkie: 'Aww, Percy-wercy, you don't need to worry. Besides, it has to come a lot higher before it can stop us."
Narrator: Percy could only shiver, he well remembered what happened the last time the branchline was flooded. He had gotten very cold, very wet, and ended up getting sick for a few days. The next morning, Toby and Applejack came up from the harbor.
Toby: "There's no problem with the stream, you two, the water's much lower today."
Percy: "That's good."
Narrator: the guard's whistle blew and Percy and Pinkie Pie set off happily with their train. But, when they stopped at the station, Percy climbed down fro
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Going to Niagara Falls for a weekend getaway!
*We open at the driver's hut in Ffarquhar, The Fat Controller arrives and rings the doorbell, Thomas answers the door, sporting an apron*

Fat Controller: "Well, Thomas, I made it, despite your directions."

Thomas: "Ah, Sir Topham, welcome, I hope you are ready for an unforgettable luncheon."

*the Fat Controller walks in and sits at the table*

Fat Controller: "Yeah..."

*Thomas goes into the kitchen*

Thomas *gasps as he sees smoke coming from the oven, running to it and slowly opens the oven door*: "Egads, my roast is ruined!"

*Thomas turns to the window, and nearby is a McDonald's*

Thomas: "But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my cooking?" 

*he chuckles*

Thomas: "Delightfully Devilish, Thomas."

*he cracks open the window and starts to put his leg out just as The Fat Controller steps in*

Fat Controller: "Ah..."

INTRO CARD

Thomas, with his crazy explainations.... The Railway's superintendent's going to need his medication, When he hears Thomas' lame exaggerations, there's going to be trouble in town tonight!"

Fat Controller: "THOMAS!"

*Thomas turns startled*

Thomas: "Sir, I was just.. err... stretching my calves on the windowsill, Isometric Exercise, care to join me?"

Fat Controller: "Why is there smoke coming from your oven, Thomas?"

Thomas: "Oh, that's not smoke, that's steam; steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm, steamed clams"

*the Fat Controller than turns and leaves for the dining room*

*Thomas wipes his brow and then dashes out the window to the McDonald's, he returns with a platter of burgers and chips*

Thomas: "Sir, I hope you are ready for mouthwatering hamburgers."

Fat Controller: "I thought we were having steamed clams."

Thomas: "D'oh, no, we're having steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers."

Fat Controller: "You call Hamburgers, steamed hams..."

Thomas: "Yes, it's a regional dialect."

Fat Controller: "Uh huh, what region?"

Thomas: "Uh... southern england..."

Fat Controller: "Really, well I'm from Dover, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Thomas: " Oh, not in Dover, no, It's a Brighton expression."

Fat Controller: "I see..."

*the Fat Controller takes a bite of one and then opens it up*

Fat Controller: "You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at McDonald's."

Thomas *chuckles*: "No, patented Billinton burgers, old family recipe."

Fat Controller: "For steamed hams..."

Thomas: "Yes."

Fat Controller: "Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled."

*Thomas stammers*

Thomas: "Excuse me for one second."

*Thomas gets up and goes back into the kitchen*

Fat Controller: "Of course."

*Thomas returns and yawns*

Thomas: "Well, that was wonderful, good time had by all, I'm pooped."

*the Fat Controller starts to get up after looking at his watch, stopping as he peers through the swinging door at a fire*

Fat Controller: "Good lord, what is happening in there?!"

Thomas: "Uh...Aurora Borealis?"

Fat Controller: "Aurora Borealis, at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!"

Thomas: "Yes..."

Fat Controller: "May I see it?"

Thomas: "No."

*the two step outside*

Twilight: "Thomas! The Hut is on fire!"

Thomas: "No Twilight, it's just the northern lights."

Fat Controller: "Well Thomas, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, that you steam a good ham."

*The Fat Controller leaves, as the hut really starts to burn*

Twilight: "HELP!"

*the Fat Controller looks back, only to see Thomas grinning whilst giving a thumbs up*

Twilight: "HELP!!"

END OF SKETCH
 
Steamed Hams, but it's a TAOT parody
Based off the Skinner and the Superintendent sketch/meme from the classic Simpsons episode 22 Short Films about Springfield, but with Thomas, Twilight, and the Fat Controller taking the place of Principal Skinner, Agnes Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers respectively

Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends (c) All Respective Owners of the TV Series (Mattel, Gullane, Britt Alcroft)
The Railway Series (c) the Awdry Family
MLP (c) Hasbro
FiM characters (c) Lauren Faust and the FiM production team
Simpsons (c) 20th Century Fox, Matt Groening
Loading...
www.dccomics.com/blog/2018/05/…

Here's Lauren Faust (the creator of the Friendship is Magic)'s latest project, I'm interested in it as I love my DC, and you can bet Tara Strong will continue to voice Harleen Frances Quinzell, better known as Harley Quinn.
  • Reading: the Railway Series plus Awdry's Bio
  • Watching: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
  • Playing: PlayStation 4
I know that I'm writing this a bit late, but happy Derpy Day to all of her fans!

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GrootandHenry
Josh Chan
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Canada
This is supposedly the new account for ScootalooRainbowDash





















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Add a Comment:
 
:iconlucadollar:
LUCADOLLAR Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist Filmographer
Happy birthday!
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:icongrootandhenry:
GrootandHenry Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank You
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:iconlucadollar:
LUCADOLLAR Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist Filmographer
You’re welcome!
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:iconguardiansoulmlp:
GuardianSoulMLP Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018
Happy Birthday!
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:icongrootandhenry:
GrootandHenry Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks Cam!
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:iconguardiansoulmlp:
GuardianSoulMLP Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018
No prob.
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:iconteaganm:
Teaganm Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2017  Hobbyist
Happy Birthday Josh
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:icongrootandhenry:
GrootandHenry Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you
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:icondartdogboy:
DartDogBoy Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
did you hear about adam west
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:icongrootandhenry:
GrootandHenry Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
yes. I knew about it for over a week now. 
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