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About Varied / Artist Core Member Ica, like "hiccup" or "icarus".Female/Australia Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
2 Month Core Membership
Statistics 244 Deviations 3,555 Comments 24,129 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Blanket of sunlight by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Blanket of sunlight :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 4 2
Girl named Fritz by grind-the-rust Girl named Fritz :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 7 5 ...from stone by grind-the-rust
Mature content
...from stone :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 3 2
Bad morning by grind-the-rust Bad morning :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 1 0 Miscellaneous nonsese by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Miscellaneous nonsese :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 0 5
Sweet Ganymede by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Sweet Ganymede :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 3 2
Yossarian in his tree by grind-the-rust Yossarian in his tree :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 5 0 Vellikins by grind-the-rust Vellikins :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 0 Rodin master study doodle by grind-the-rust Rodin master study doodle :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 3 0 Loss by grind-the-rust Loss :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 11 0 over the threshold by grind-the-rust
Mature content
over the threshold :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 1 0
...slick as a fish and cold as ice by grind-the-rust
Mature content
...slick as a fish and cold as ice :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 3
...took myself a taste by grind-the-rust
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...took myself a taste :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 1 0
Willingness by grind-the-rust
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Willingness :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 0
Run to the forest by grind-the-rust Run to the forest :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 7 6 Inferno IX 55-60 by grind-the-rust Inferno IX 55-60 :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 21 4
things any decent human being would submit to the scrap folder...


beware the ones with familiar faces by Bethaleil beware the ones with familiar faces :iconbethaleil:Bethaleil 107 6 - - -  Sisyphus  - - - by aloner777 - - - Sisyphus - - - :iconaloner777:aloner777 26 5 Nordwort: Gurl by booublik
Mature content
Nordwort: Gurl :iconbooublik:booublik 18 0
Paper Foxox: Vechter and Moira by booublik Paper Foxox: Vechter and Moira :iconbooublik:booublik 23 6 Paper Foxox: Ink by booublik Paper Foxox: Ink :iconbooublik:booublik 36 2 Nord: Inktober VII by booublik Nord: Inktober VII :iconbooublik:booublik 817 37 Nord: Bruises by booublik Nord: Bruises :iconbooublik:booublik 63 0 Inktober #2 Tranquil by Brandtd Inktober #2 Tranquil :iconbrandtd:Brandtd 21 2 Bottle by blackseagull Bottle :iconblackseagull:blackseagull 12 0 Paper Foxox: Bruises by booublik Paper Foxox: Bruises :iconbooublik:booublik 89 7 A Cambrian character by Fluffysminion A Cambrian character :iconfluffysminion:Fluffysminion 69 18 Axolotl tutorial by Rrkra Axolotl tutorial :iconrrkra:Rrkra 202 47 Axolotls by Rrkra Axolotls :iconrrkra:Rrkra 217 94 The Retinue by socar The Retinue :iconsocar:socar 117 8 Suphlatus, The Patient Hand by PeteMohrbacher Suphlatus, The Patient Hand :iconpetemohrbacher:PeteMohrbacher 2,919 32 10 by Riki-Taki 10 :iconriki-taki:Riki-Taki 33 0
At home, I sit down to sculpt, but I keep falling in love with my armatures and have trouble covering them with clay. Does anyone else get this, where the first gestural lines are so pure, you fear to go beyond them?

I like beginnings and endings, but oh god the middle part of everything is difficult. It takes slowness and more trust in one's hands and the world than I usually have.

Someone I've worked for for ages took me under his wing this year after I showed him a few maquettes, decided to teach me more formally. I've been going to the studio weekly on the quiet, making studies. I'll be helping others do the same next year.

I quit my editing job - it was robbing me of words, flattening my language to its needs, crowding my head, and eating all my time away. And the pay wasn't much good. Since I quit, all the sleepless nights of the past two years have caught up to me. I'm tired all the time, and find it even harder than usual to go among people, to talk. I don't open my mouth much at all with strangers. But my thoughts are my own again - sometimes my feral little brain fulgurates with ideas, and it feels good, so good. Excitement comes in sudden tremendous gusts, often followed by a kind of sleepy despair at another day passing with nothing of my own made. I guess I'm still re-calibrating. It'll take a little while to regain strength.

I think I was brave once. But I'm scared of everything now. Marks on paper. Words. Hurting people. Damaging things. Scared I'll do the wrong thing. Over the years, I seem to have retreated.

It's not all bad though. I've developed some new habits. For one, I spend a lot of time reading about perfume. I like how crazy people go over smells, how intensely they respond, how convoluted their mental images and associations are. In general, I enjoy descriptions of things I have no experience of. I hate how most perfume smells, but reading about it is fun. Sometimes, when I'm convinced something might be interesting and not too unpleasant, I go into a shop and try it. It's like going to the theater for me, and I like having read about it beforehand, so I have this cloud of other people's impressions hovering about my head.

People often say that scents evoke whole scenes for them, and describe them in great detail. Having never experienced this before, I felt a little skeptical - after all, people are prone to waxing exceedingly florid and exaggerating somewhat when they talk about things they hold dear.

So there I was on a very hot day indeed, a rare day off, and I decided it might be good to sniff something i'd been curious about for a while before making my way to the botanical gardens, where I hoped to check out the fernery. The description promised woods and earth and incense, which didn't sound too bad. So off I went, and the lady spritzed me, and I cringed - in the sunburnt heat, the stuff smelled like a tar pit. Oh well, I shrugged and ambled off to the gardens. While I walked, clouds began to mass, and by the time I was in the fernery, admiring their lygodium specimens, fat sunlit droplets began to fall, faster and faster until the whole place was being drenched by luminous downpour. Something incredible happened then - as the soil released its petrichor, the perfume that had fallen flat and dormant on my skin and clothes suddenly seemed to rise and unfurl to linger in the cooling, humid air. I could almost see an old, tall conifer forest shoot up through the ground around me, together with the remains of an abandoned Eastern Orthodox church, in the mossy remains of which someone had come to pay respects, and burned bitter frankiscence. The ghost of this forest (maybe even The Forest) hung about me for the rest of the day.

While this hasn't persuaded me to start owning and wearing perfume, I might laugh about other folks' deranged descriptions of mental images evoked by scent in a more understanding, less cynical manner.

So, I'm genuinely curious. Do any of you have a strong, transporting response to any smells (not necessarily perfumery)?
  • Listening to: "Wildwood" by Seeming
  • Reading: Wislawa Szymborska's poems
  • Drinking: Sweet, strong black tea


Ica, like "hiccup" or "icarus".
Artist | Varied
A person of no particular significance, but prone to compulsive scribbling, which ends up posted here from time to time.

Journal History


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besenheide Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2018  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave!Hug 
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2018  Hobbyist Photographer
many thanks for the fave ad :D
MephMan Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2018
Thanks for the recent attention too, my friend :)
Null-Entity Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankyou Kindly For The Watch :D
NikosBoukouvalas Featured By Owner May 4, 2018
Many thanks for the watch and the favs! Glad you liked my work, it means a lot! Take good care! 
DawidZdobylak Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks :)
Ceresta Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2018  Student
Thank you for the favorite! :)
MephMan Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2017
Rust, how have you been?
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2017   General Artist
Heya, Mephy. Long time no repartee - seems like a lifetime ago when you were last uploading regularly. I have a vague recollection of you playing piano on youtube back then - or did I imagine that bit?

I've been kicking along. The last couple of years involved being buried under a mountain of nonsense courtesy of my briefly holding some semblance of a "respectable job". But I've put an end to that, so it's a happier carcass that I'm preparing to drag into 2018. Been sculpting quite a bit, but no camera means no uploads. Probably for the best - it's kind of liberating in a way, just fucking around with clay, with no way of showing anyone what I'm doing.

And yourself?
MephMan Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2018
Oh rust... It HAS been a while, but your memory serves you faithfully enough. YES indeed it's me you would have recalled playing and writing for the piano, as that is more my real calling than visual art ever could be. I still occasionally worship at the idol of these Gods too though, but I am really more of a minor acolyte than many here.

Too bad no camera, maybe you can borrow someone's some time and show us at least a helping of what you've been working on? I trust that wouldn't "un-liberate" you from your isle of seclusion so much as to ruin the new streak you've been on?


~Your friend,
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