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About Varied / Artist Core Member Ica, like "hiccup" or "icarus".Female/Australia Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
2 Month Core Membership
Statistics 245 Deviations 3,587 Comments 24,992 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

cozy burial by grind-the-rust cozy burial :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 13 7 Blanket of sunlight by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Blanket of sunlight :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 8 2
Girl named Fritz by grind-the-rust Girl named Fritz :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 14 6 ...from stone by grind-the-rust
Mature content
...from stone :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 4 2
Bad morning by grind-the-rust Bad morning :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 0 Miscellaneous nonsese by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Miscellaneous nonsese :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 0 5
Sweet Ganymede by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Sweet Ganymede :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 3 2
Yossarian in his tree by grind-the-rust Yossarian in his tree :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 5 0 Vellikins by grind-the-rust Vellikins :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 0 Rodin master study doodle by grind-the-rust Rodin master study doodle :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 4 0 Loss by grind-the-rust Loss :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 16 1 over the threshold by grind-the-rust
Mature content
over the threshold :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 1 0
...slick as a fish and cold as ice by grind-the-rust
Mature content
...slick as a fish and cold as ice :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 3 3
...took myself a taste by grind-the-rust
Mature content
...took myself a taste :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 1 0
Willingness by grind-the-rust
Mature content
Willingness :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 2 0
Run to the forest by grind-the-rust Run to the forest :icongrind-the-rust:grind-the-rust 8 6
things any decent human being would submit to the scrap folder...


Knight of Swords by squonkhunter Knight of Swords :iconsquonkhunter:squonkhunter 7 0 duuom the red by Bethaleil duuom the red :iconbethaleil:Bethaleil 269 13 Steerpike by valangre Steerpike :iconvalangre:valangre 4 0 August by annaorca August :iconannaorca:annaorca 12 0 Anthesteria 138 by A-gnosis Anthesteria 138 :icona-gnosis:A-gnosis 26 34 Sketchdump! 22 by beidak Sketchdump! 22 :iconbeidak:beidak 113 23 Needle Felted Cat Exotic Shorthair by YuliaLeonovich Needle Felted Cat Exotic Shorthair :iconyulialeonovich:YuliaLeonovich 382 12 Toy Skunk by YuliaLeonovich Toy Skunk :iconyulialeonovich:YuliaLeonovich 618 28 abraham (commission) by Bethaleil abraham (commission) :iconbethaleil:Bethaleil 189 6 Moon by AnnaFromTheTrain Moon :iconannafromthetrain:AnnaFromTheTrain 64 16 Different place by AnnaFromTheTrain Different place :iconannafromthetrain:AnnaFromTheTrain 126 25 cursed of the far shadow by Bethaleil cursed of the far shadow :iconbethaleil:Bethaleil 155 15 459 by Riki-Taki 459 :iconriki-taki:Riki-Taki 96 1 By the lake at sunset by DawidZdobylak By the lake at sunset :icondawidzdobylak:DawidZdobylak 144 8 chillin in the lake 02 by whitepine-enthusiast chillin in the lake 02 :iconwhitepine-enthusiast:whitepine-enthusiast 1 0 Overwatch - Zarya by Nesskain Overwatch - Zarya :iconnesskain:Nesskain 2,738 56
At home, I sit down to sculpt, but I keep falling in love with my armatures and have trouble covering them with clay. Does anyone else get this, where the first gestural lines are so pure, you fear to go beyond them?

I like beginnings and endings, but oh god the middle part of everything is difficult. It takes slowness and more trust in one's hands and the world than I usually have.

Someone I've worked for for ages took me under his wing this year after I showed him a few maquettes, decided to teach me more formally. I've been going to the studio weekly on the quiet, making studies. I'll be helping others do the same next year.

I quit my editing job - it was robbing me of words, flattening my language to its needs, crowding my head, and eating all my time away. And the pay wasn't much good. Since I quit, all the sleepless nights of the past two years have caught up to me. I'm tired all the time, and find it even harder than usual to go among people, to talk. I don't open my mouth much at all with strangers. But my thoughts are my own again - sometimes my feral little brain fulgurates with ideas, and it feels good, so good. Excitement comes in sudden tremendous gusts, often followed by a kind of sleepy despair at another day passing with nothing of my own made. I guess I'm still re-calibrating. It'll take a little while to regain strength.

I think I was brave once. But I'm scared of everything now. Marks on paper. Words. Hurting people. Damaging things. Scared I'll do the wrong thing. Over the years, I seem to have retreated.

It's not all bad though. I've developed some new habits. For one, I spend a lot of time reading about perfume. I like how crazy people go over smells, how intensely they respond, how convoluted their mental images and associations are. In general, I enjoy descriptions of things I have no experience of. I hate how most perfume smells, but reading about it is fun. Sometimes, when I'm convinced something might be interesting and not too unpleasant, I go into a shop and try it. It's like going to the theater for me, and I like having read about it beforehand, so I have this cloud of other people's impressions hovering about my head.

People often say that scents evoke whole scenes for them, and describe them in great detail. Having never experienced this before, I felt a little skeptical - after all, people are prone to waxing exceedingly florid and exaggerating somewhat when they talk about things they hold dear.

So there I was on a very hot day indeed, a rare day off, and I decided it might be good to sniff something i'd been curious about for a while before making my way to the botanical gardens, where I hoped to check out the fernery. The description promised woods and earth and incense, which didn't sound too bad. So off I went, and the lady spritzed me, and I cringed - in the sunburnt heat, the stuff smelled like a tar pit. Oh well, I shrugged and ambled off to the gardens. While I walked, clouds began to mass, and by the time I was in the fernery, admiring their lygodium specimens, fat sunlit droplets began to fall, faster and faster until the whole place was being drenched by luminous downpour. Something incredible happened then - as the soil released its petrichor, the perfume that had fallen flat and dormant on my skin and clothes suddenly seemed to rise and unfurl to linger in the cooling, humid air. I could almost see an old, tall conifer forest shoot up through the ground around me, together with the remains of an abandoned Eastern Orthodox church, in the mossy remains of which someone had come to pay respects, and burned bitter frankiscence. The ghost of this forest (maybe even The Forest) hung about me for the rest of the day.

While this hasn't persuaded me to start owning and wearing perfume, I might laugh about other folks' deranged descriptions of mental images evoked by scent in a more understanding, less cynical manner.

So, I'm genuinely curious. Do any of you have a strong, transporting response to any smells (not necessarily perfumery)?
  • Listening to: "Wildwood" by Seeming
  • Reading: Wislawa Szymborska's poems
  • Drinking: Sweet, strong black tea


Ica, like "hiccup" or "icarus".
Artist | Varied
A person of no particular significance, but prone to compulsive scribbling, which ends up posted here from time to time.

Journal History


Add a Comment:
DawidZdobylak Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2019  Professional Traditional Artist
thanks :)
bronze4u Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2019  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for all the favs! Nice work! :)
besenheide Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2019  Professional General Artist
 Thank you so much for faves again!Heart 
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2019   General Artist
My pleasure. It's always great to see new work from you!
Characterfolio Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2019  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the watch.
I've already really liked the figures, shapes and lines of your sketches and illustrations.
Keep up the good work! :)
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2019   General Artist
My pleasure. I really enjoy your linework, and the spontaneous feel of a lot of your drawings. I also find some of the recurring motifs intriguing - people with bird and animal heads, elderly faces. Look forward to seeing more from you :)
Characterfolio Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2019  Student Traditional Artist
That comment has really made my day. Thank you very much. I look forward to more from you as well. :heart:
Offering Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2018
thanks for adding both Nancy and Night Train to your favourites.

'tis appreciated!
grind-the-rust Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2019   General Artist
My pleasure. I never get sick of digging through your gallery. ^-^
MephMan Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2018
Your loyalty is unquestionable, rust!
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