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Sarcantasy 014



Previously, on…

You try to explain to George the difference between fiction and reality.
This requires you to explain what 'fiction' means.
And what 'reality' is.
Also, the meaning of 'difference'.
He doesn't really take it well once he understands what you're talking about.

"But... George read the books. All the books about a shaved ape!" he protests. "Caymore-city real. Why Agent Ape not real?"

You explain again, more slowly.
George looks crestfallen.
"No easy women?" he asks. "At all?"

You move on to the difference between real and fictional women, and how he needs to learn to deal with them, as opposed to the ridiculous caricatures in the Agent Ape-books.
George looks really glum when he hears this.

"George know what to do with real women," he sulks. "George Dad tell. Women come from woman camp, men dance around with fruit and flower, sing wo-man, wo-man, wo-man. Then you try to cuddle one woman, she bites chunk out of ear, biggest ape beat you up. Moon later, biggest ape chases all women out of nest, one who bites you ear come to you, say she want cuddles. Then she make baby not look like you, go back to woman camp, leave you with boy with brain of monkey and hunger of elephant, hoo-hoo."

George pouts.
"No sound so fun. Agent Ape-women sound better. George come all this way, no woman want cuddles. Just go ee-hee-heek, run away. Now this. Hoo."

You can't help but feel a little sorry for George after hearing what his 'dad' (the male who apparently raised him, anyway) said to him.
The shaved ape shakes his head, though.

"Good Dad. Carry little George on back. Find fruit, Dad eat, George eat. Then George big, trip, foot stuck in roots. Leopard come. All shaved apes go hoo-hoo, ee-eek from tree, leopard come to eat George. Only Dad jump on leopard. Bite ear."

George grimaces.

"Leopard no like. George get away. Leopard eating. Dad never go ee-ee. Good Dad."

You notice the leather sheet in the doorway fall open.
Floating in empty air beyond are Delar and Emma!
The Half-Urken is holding one hand straight up, clutching a leather loop as though it's carrying the two of them. Emma raises one finger to her lips.

You tell George his dad does sound like he had his priorities straight.
The shaved ape's glazed look motivates you to start explaining the concept of 'priorities', but the shaved ape grunts irritably.
"George enough with talky-talk. No like. George far from home jungle now. No go back. What George do with..."

His voice is cut off as if by a knife.
But really, it's because Delar just put his longsword to George's throat and Emma grabbed his wrists and wrenched his arms up behind his back at an uncomfortable angle.

"Got you now, you damn', dirty ape!" Delar growls.

"Told you I'd find you," Emma says while keeping the shaved ape's wrists locked behind his back.

"George really no know what do now," George squeaks.


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Date Taken
Aug 5, 2018, 7:41:22 PM
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MichaelJohnMorris's avatar
Guess George's dad didn't have the right idea either. :(