" This is my punishment. I am doomed to this realm for the rest of eternity, and all because I gave up my power for a moment of revenge. Could you blame me? A monster had killed the only people I cared about, and I was given the power to STOP him but the rule not to. I broke the rule, and was stripped of my power, and doomed to play out my role as Guardian of this realm. It is a realm of power that I am constantly connected to, but never able to harness. In fact, my only power now is to GIVE this indescribable power to others. And it hurts. It hurts because in the power I cannot use is enough to completely undo the deaths of the people I love. In this power is enough to bring back an entire world from death, should I so choose.
" and the only other being that knows of this world I so long for is the one who destroyed it.
" and I am a FOOL. A terrible, stupid, illogical fool. Had I not given into revenge, I would have my loved ones beside me even now, and I would be with them in Heaven. I would be at peace but instead, I can see them, but never talk to them, or hear them, or touch them. Only see them from afar, and they can't even see ME. Every passing moment, I find myself drawn to those three souls I ACHE for.
" but it is my fault I am where I am, and I must live with my folly. And so my moments pass. People come to challenge my realm, hoping to pass it and gain the power only I can give away. The same power I can never use. Being here has offered some strange feelings, though. I know who created me. I know who brought about my existence, and I know WHY he brought me about. I even know why he allowed this punishment on me and yet I also don't. In my mortal life, he helped me become a good person. I found a woman to love and cherish, and I was faithful to her in such a way that NO one would have questioned my loyalty. We even had two children.
"But Telrick killed them. He spared only ME. He did so because he wanted to see me in PAIN. He saw me in pain, and I tore his soul into pieces and forced them into the shards of a shattered diamond before THROWING those pieces to the edges of the universe so that he could live out HIS eternity as a trapped soul, never complete and never able to DIE.
" why do I still enjoy seeing his punishment? Why do I still LOVE the thought of sending him away? Why?! Doing so has brought me nothing but grief. I can still SEE the heaven I long for. Do you know how much torture that is?! The one who created me KNOWS what kind of pain he's putting me through! He KNOWS! I would give ANYTHING to go to him and teach him the same lesson I taught my wife's killer. I hate him that much
" and yet I don't hate him at all. For all the pain he's caused me for all the pain he's caused so MANY good people he's done well by most of them in the end. Perhaps my end just hasn't come yet, and so I am doomed to spend more time in my anger and sorrow. I know he could take me from this place. I KNOW he could. He's managed to completely alter the lives of even some of the VILLAINS he creates. His favourite former villain is also STILL a villain, but not how you might think. He's even taken Telrick and given him good things in life even a good ending! He's taken that monster and made him into a SAINT! And I'm still HERE, in the back corner of everything, waiting my turn if it'll ever come.
"Am I honestly doomed to this terrible place? He's taken everyone ELSE and done things with them. I've been here, untouched and unseen for an EXTREMELY long time. I know I should be thankful he didn't lead me down a worse path, but my resentment in life stayed with me in death. I have a VERY hard time finding the positives in life especially when, IN life, they were all taken from me before my eyes. I've watched my parents die, watched my siblings die, and then a brief spark of happiness with my wife and children and friends and then I watched them and the entire WORLD die. That which mattered to me more than ANYTHING was always what was taken from me. I would have given up all of my power, all of my abilities, even my LIMBS to have them back even for a MOMENT. But I couldn't get them back. Ever.
"I'm a wreck. A hopeless, depressing wreck. What would you have me do? Honestly, what? I would do it, just to end this suffering. I would do ANYTHING to be back with the people I care about. I would give up anything to be with the people I love. So why am I still in this place?! Why am I cursed to remain in a realm that could give me everything I want if I could just USE it?! I can't even ask the people who pass the tests to help me! When they pass the tests, I become an indecipherable MIST that cannot talk or think! I can only do one thing in that form and that is grant whoever passed the tests the power that comes WITH passing the tests! It is sheer TORTURE!
"Am I here solely for amusement? What purpose did I serve in life, and what purpose am I serving NOW?! I do not feel fulfilled in any way, and I look back on my mortal life mostly with regrets. Even right now, the fact that I get to talk to you is tainted by the fact that I can NEVER tell you my NAME! I will never be able to beg you for help, simply because you will not know WHO to help!
" but I'm going to beg anyway. You don't know me, and unless you know the monster who's done this to me, you will never know who I am, but if you CAN AT ALL, please end my torment. Help me leave this place.
I know this is a bit of a depressing piece. I wrote it with that in mind. You're looking into one of my characters' private hells. It isn't meant to be pleasant. If any of you are worried that this writing is because I'm in a bad mood or something, DON'T be. I'm not. In fact, I'm in the middle of one of the happiest times in my LIFE! (Expecting an addition later this year. ^__^)
I just felt like writing something that was a bit different from my usual things. (A few of you who know me really well will probably ask how this is any different, but it FELT different, so nyah.) Besides, this keeps me writing so I don't slip back into my annoying phases of silence on DA where nothing gets uploaded no matter how much I get pestered about it. ^__^ So yeah. This is to help me not be lazy, alright? XP
Yes, I feel sorry for him, no, I'm not giving him what he's asking for. Why? You have to KNOW me to know why, I even left a couple subtle hints as to who he is if you've read enough of my things to piece the puzzle together.
Well? Can anyone guess? ^__^
And by the way ...sorry, but you aren't allowed to enter. You know too much! XP
This story and all the characters in it are copyrighted to me.