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About Varied / Hobbyist AmandaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 14 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 113 Deviations 1,251 Comments 9,954 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Dorthy or Alice?
my heart pours out a galaxy into your sky
i don't think you even notice as you walk by
in agony i sit in wonder as i try to understand what brought me to this
please tell me is there an end to this winding yellow brick road
i don't know if i'm dorthy or alice in this wonderland
the pain numbs my every sense to the answer
yet here here i watch you all float by my face seemingly unaware of what place you fill inside of me
you appear uncaring to how significant that really is to my existance
are you seeing me float through your sky?
or am i just a grain of sand you walk upon?
do you care that my tears fill your oceans?
do you understand this spectacle my heart puts on just for all of you?
because you just walked by me to open a door in this crossroad to somewhere new...
...without me.
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 5 0
do i dare to dream?
the melancholy winds seem to clear
the fog that held me in chains seems to be lifting... me up into the light
i seem to be able to feel again
i seem to be able to see again
skies so clear unobstructed by ominous clouds that dragged me down are now within reach
i want to walk among the others up here so high
can i fly here?
will i fall?
i am unabashed by my fears...
i remember the darkness and how it swallows you whole
i won't forget where i came from...
but that place i want to be looks as if it might be achievable...
do i dare to dream? i....stay
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 2 6
so bittersweet...
the shadows are so welcoming it whispers my name calling me to its safe arms
i so desperately want to wrap myself in everything it has to offer me
i remember these arms...
so bittersweet...
they got me through the toughest years i had back then...
the solace is so quiet and peaceful...
i know it seems so terrifying but these walls are just so familiar and i want to stay...
i recall just how lovely it was being alone...
those days when entwining myself with black was all that kept me comfortable...
it swallowed up my worries, my anxieties...
it enveloped me in its protective shield from it all...
but i know that the shadows will play tricks on those that are foolish enough to touch it...
yet i didn't care, and i still don't...
the gloom, it was so soothing...
it can't all be dire...
but i have too much light hanging on to me now...
i have too much i must protect...
...i want to go back
*whispers* ...but i can't
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 1 0
and yet...
my heart is a filled yet hollow drum that echoes throughout the night
i love yet i cannot feel...
i'm whole and yet i'm empty
my body feels nothing and yet it feels everything
i am on the verge of tears and yet my eyes are dry
i know who i am and yet i am confused if i am right
my heart is broken and yet i am happy
i want to give up and yet i am so eager to live my life alongside him
i am so blessed and yet so cursed
i feel so loved and yet so judged
i feel so wanted and yet so rejected
how i want my life to be is so clear and yet has never been so confusing
my life has never been so blessed and yet never been so irrevocably damaged
i have never felt so together and yet so pulled apart
i have never felt so loved and yet so strongly unwanted in such a hurtful way
all my life has been a song and dance since he came and filled my world with such a spectrum of wondrous colors...and yet
these colors have been tainted  with pain that drag me away from him as he keeps me from drowning
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 1 0
Love Lights by gothicpaperdoll Love Lights :icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 0 0
it calls me back...
there is a darkness that has a sickening reminiscing warmth to it
it calls me back...
there is a place that feels all too familiar that my body seems to love
it calls me back...i don't know if i can exist without it, this murky possession it brings with it is too alluring
it calls me back...
my body feels so at home with you around, where have you been?
it calls me back...
i feel it come for me when everything is broken all around me, i reach my hand forth to greet it
it calls me back...
when will i just understand that i can't run from this feeling, you'll never leave me and i'm not even sure i want you to...
it calls me back... to drown
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 0 0
gothicpaperdoll elegant ID by gothicpaperdoll gothicpaperdoll elegant ID :icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 0 0 :Purple and Orange Hearts ID: by gothicpaperdoll :Purple and Orange Hearts ID: :icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 0 5 :Amanda's Purple Heart: by gothicpaperdoll :Amanda's Purple Heart: :icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 2 3
Im too hollow
where have i gone
where have i been
i don't know if i will ever see you again
what do i do
what do i say
when you have slipped away
i leave me open to fill this hole
but nothing comes i'm just too hollow
i leave it all up to chance
but nothing wants me i'm just to hollow
i see it all so clear
yet its so far away
it seems so close and yet so far
i can't reach it anymore i'm just too hollow, no
why can't i feel it
why can't i feel it
oh why can't i feel it
i leave me open to fill this hole
but nothing comes i'm just too hollow
i leave it all up to chance
but nothing wants me i'm just too hollow
i thought the hard part was losing you
nut now i've come apart too
nothing to hold
nothing to find
i want to stand
and i can't hide
i'm too hollow
i leave me open to fill this hole
but nothing comes i'm just too hollow
i leave it all up to chance
but nothing wants me i'm just too hollow
:icongothicpaperdoll:gothicpaperdoll 0 0
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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
i am just a random artist, i enjoy lots of things but i enjoy photography and/or editing photos in my spare time along with writing all sorts of different things including poetry :3
  • Listening to: Pandora Radio ~ Flyleaf Radio
  • Reading: Shifting Shadows ~ Patricia Briggs
  • Watching: Supernatural
  • Playing: Wizardess Heart
  • Drinking: Teavana Herbal Tea ~ Berry Kiwi Colada
I know it has been a while, but college and life has been extremely busy....
I met a wonderful man within a month or so of my last journal entry and we began officially dating not long after it... well he proposed on my birthday in 2014 and we just were married in a beautiful LOTR wedding last month ^_^ ♥
One Ring Sparkling Icon 
Things have been very stressful & happy for us along with being busier than ever which can be good and bad so my art has been very sparingly done... unfortunately. So as much as I would love to keep up on my art I probably won't post as often as I would like to.
However I can say I will do my best! :3

~Amanda ♥



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maiarcita Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2017
Thankss for :+fav:
Lady Rose by maiarcita
I really appreciate :iconcocoloveplz: :rose:
gothicpaperdoll Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're Welcome ^_^
baslergrafik Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for faving my drawing of the Fourth Doctor Who and Sarah Jane 
gothicpaperdoll Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
you're very welcome! Aww it is a beautiful piece :D (Big Grin)  
NikeWolf120 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you very much for the fave Wolf heart plz 
gothicpaperdoll Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! ^_^ 
NightrunnerXM Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave, it's much appreciated! Please stop by again!
gothicpaperdoll Featured By Owner May 1, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! ^_^
AnSanatci Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
gothicpaperdoll Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome!Meow :3 
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