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About Deviant Artist chrisUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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i can never forgive myself for this
i hope you never think about me again
i hope you never have to know
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
i was afraid of breaking up with you
so i cheated on you instead
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 2 0
you didn't feel the same
i hated you for it
i made you feel guilty
but you saw something good in me
despite my blatant animosity towards you
and you kept me around anyway
you were the first person i ever loved
so sure you were the end-all be-all
the fix to every one of my problems
but you had your own life to live
your own dreams that i disregarded
there's so much that i wish i had done differently
so much that i'm sorry for
i hope one day you can forgive me
and if not, then at least forget me
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
i never treated you well enough
you gave me your trust when i didn't deserve it
all i thought about was myself
about how you made me feel
and when i considered your feelings
it was to consider how those feelings affected me
i didn't support you when you needed it
we both suffered from similar mental illnesses
and when i wavered you held me up
but when you wavered, i crumbled to dust and let you fall
let you flicker in and out
watched you stumble
i was a teenage boy, can i really be blamed?
the answer is yes
i wonder if i could have been a fix for any of your problems
if i wasn't so selfish
i hope you can stand taller now than you did then
and when you can't
i hope everyone around you lifts you up
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 0
you treated me like trash, but i didn't notice
i thought you were interesting
when you stopped being interesting, i dropped you
you treated me like trash, i noticed
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 0
your ex boyfriend wouldn't stop calling you that night
sleeping with you was so much fun
i didn't want it to be ruined
he had done this before
he needed to stop being so attached to you
you told him that before
but here he was, calling
i told you to ignore him, he needed to grow out of this
and i was having so much fun, i didn't want it to be ruined
your ex boyfriend killed himself that night
while i was having fun
was it my fault?
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
i'd never been with another man before
you hadn't either, but
it seemed like you knew what you wanted
i wasn't so sure
you told me i was straight
that i was the only straight boy you'd ever had feelings for
i wish we had given it more of a chance
i had feelings for you too
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
This poem will look like shit in a year and a half
I was alway a shitty poet
I knew it then. But
I ignored it.
Seemingly arbitrary breaks in
line and sentence
Vague accusations
You always were so easy to accuse.
Is this in the first or second person?
This isn't good.
This isn't smart.
Four years ago I expressed myself and thought I was wise.
Four years ago I wrote poetry and thought of myself as a sad misunderstood artistic soul.
Four years ago people encouraged that.
I still don't know if it was real or not.
I still don't know if I actually felt the way I said I did.
I still don't know if I made it up, cold and calculating, vying for others affections
or if each and every step I took was genuine.
I still don't know
I still don't know
I still don't know
I still don't know if my own memory has been lying to me.
Four years is a long time
        (for some).
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 1
Majestic Waleed by GoldenTriforce Majestic Waleed :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
A Subtle Touch
That nameless forever
Empty thoughts and silent tears
Pushing you In.
You're more condensed than Campbell's Tomato.
Limitless volumes of books, magazines, and encyclopedias
pushed farther in
until you've reached the size of a marble.
I suppose I could go further;
push you down
to a speck of dust
to the size of an amoeba,
a molecule,
an atom,
You expect an explosion.
You're a dwarf star on the verge of black hole.
But just as the cruel hands of fate
play that sad,
sunken, sunken
and twisted, tune
                                  you find that the climax is past.
A quiet whisper pulls you out
like a ball of string.
You are a ribbon in the wind.
But you can move through it; it's only a gentle breeze.
The very air has rem
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 1
It's so easy to forget.
To look to the past and think of things as shadows.
To remember not how you felt,
but the names for the things that you felt.
I remember now.
I remember the pain and anguish that I went through.
When I acted numb. Pretending to feel nothing when I saw you.
Eventually, that came true, and I don't regret wishing that upon myself.
It was a bandage for a wound. It helped.
I told you I would explain, and I still haven't.
Silly girl, you've gone and made assumptions.
You think I don't have feelings, and I probably thought the same of you half an hour ago.
I don't remember how I felt half an hour ago. I can only recall how I felt twenty nine minutes and fifty eight seconds ago.
I promise you that I will explain.
You gotta remember, this is only a moment, a second, in the grand scheme of things.
Everything turns out okay in the end.
I'd write more but I don't have the time.
I wish I did,
but my father wants to go to sleep, and his bedroom is right next to the com
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 0
Crying hours ago
for reasons I can't explain,
I feel strangely calm now
and emotionless once again.
I hate feeling this way.
I don't know why I can't breathe right now,
or sleep in the normal patterns like I used to.
But now things are different. I was changed.
It's getting back into the groove,
that's all.
I just need
to forget
my troubles
and be with you.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 1
waiting for an answer haiku
Waiting for you to
come home and respond to me,
it is unnerving.
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 0 2
What I Miss...
I miss grinning, ya know?
I miss being happy,
looking forward to something.
Being awake,
instead of this bizarre feeling of
I miss flying on the wings of an angel,
you know, when you smile so much your face hurts?
Instead of this ubiquidous weight.
Makes it hard to breath, ya know?
I miss walking to whatever boring place I was going,
a resisting the strongest urge to dance on the spot.
Like, if it weren't for the fact that you might look like an idiot,
You would totally do a backflip off the wall,
handstand your way to another world.
I wish those days would come back, you know?
If it weren't for those memories of happiness,
I might've never been able to get out of bed this morning.
But, I can cling.
And I can hope for those memories to come alive.
I miss those days.
Where I could run a million miles,
in the blink of an eye.
Where I could fly to the heavens,
and maybe steal a piece of the sky,
and not care if anyone noticed.
I miss knowing that tomorrow w
:icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 2 7
Krabs by GoldenTriforce Krabs :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 1 1 Spongebob by GoldenTriforce Spongebob :icongoldentriforce:GoldenTriforce 2 6

Random Favourites

Mature content
Infamous :iconryanbraund:RyanBraund 719 416
Dirty Sheet with Words on Back
It is the last day, in English class.
We talk,
we laugh,
we eat.
We are happy.
I am not.
Mind your own business.
Fine, I’m happy enough.
Happy enough to talk,
to laugh,
and to eat-
but only for a while.
Then, leaving Danny and the rest of the English class
(taking chocolate first)
I cross to the other side of the classroom
where no one sits.
Desks are together in a clump,
like my fellow students.
In a pack, students are more likely to survive
if attacked by a hungry teacher.
So I become a desk.
I am in their pack,
sitting on them,
around them,
but not inside them because I am too large.
They don’t eat or talk
they are quiet,
and I don’t mind.
I open my bag,
a bag that is falling apart,
a bag that my sister made,
and I remove a paper.
This paper is beaten, shredded, cruddy and coffee-stained.
It’s sort of like my life-
except I’m not really beaten
or coffee-stained.
(I like coffee though.)
I’m just not terribly happy-
like I said befo
:iconcatcatcatcat:CatCatCatCat 1 3
Amber by dark-spider Amber :icondark-spider:dark-spider 14,103 1,608 Cute Death by Firefolk Cute Death :iconfirefolk:Firefolk 8 9
Marmalade :iconelbooga:elbooga 1,125 447
A quiet whisper.
"Will you dance with me?"
Of course I will, though you may not know it.
I will dance with you until the end of time.
I will dance with you forever.
A subtle touch.
"Come with me."
I will follow you, through thick and thin.
I will follow you until the end of time.
I will follow you forever.
A gentle brush
of lips on lips.
Will you dance with me, will you follow me,
As I promise to do for you?
If you will, as I will you,
Then our hearts are one, our spirits are too.
We will dance.
We will follow.
We will love.
:iconfirefolk:Firefolk 3 13
Avatara 2007 :iconjuubee:Juubee 230 181
Live Life Truly
"Eh, why am I here?"
"Just because."
"But why?"
"That doesn't help."
"Because there's hope."
"Hope. Love. Peace. Joy."
"So who are you?"
"I'm hope. I'm you. I'm him and her, it and me."
"So am I. We both are."
"Now you're getting it. Try again."
"Be yourself."
"Good. Listen. Love. You understand how. Who are you now?
"I am me, and myself. But I am part of the whole, and am you and others."
"Why are you here?"
"Because of Hope. Because of Life."
"Yes. Love. Life."
:iconfirefolk:Firefolk 5 3
Every time I read those words I cry and cry
Because those are all things I have said to you
If they weren’t said they were felt
You were my good morning and goodnight
You were my hugs and kisses, my Xs and Os
You were my lover and my best friend
You were my late night phone calls
And my paragraph after paragraph long letters
You were the one to warm me up
And the one to calm me down
My shoulder to cry on
And my person to cuddle
You were the one that put those smiles on my face
And you were the one who kept me warm
You were the one who tried your hardest to see me
You were the one who cared the most
But now I don’t know what to do
I truly do miss you
But I have been replaced
She is the one you love
And it’s the worst feeling ever
To know that she calls you at night
She loves you and hugs you
She is yours and you are hers
She has taken my place
And I cant stand to hear about her
I hate reading her words
I hate knowing you love her
And I hate seeing her in your arms
When th
:iconborn2loveand2beloved:born2loveand2beloved 5 13
Digging a Hole
Digging beneath dappled shade,
And a chorus of applauding trees.
A sharp-spade chewing sound,
Metal hum like plucked wire.
Aching back, muddy smears,
And not a blister; just
A certain hardness of the skin,
Cracking like a gourd
Across the wrinkles of my thumb.
                “Why were you digging a hole?”
                She asked me, afterwards.
                “It felt” I answered,
                “Like the right thing to do
                At the time…”
Mulch smell, wet and bodily.
The hole opens, organic;
A ventricle, it gasps.
Fist-sized nuggets
:iconpaul-cooper:Paul-Cooper 80 94
The Night You Left
I forget everything you ever told me
The light dims and the night gets louder
Someone calls my name
And I laugh like it’s the funniest joke ever told
Someone calls my name
And I fall, shaking with the hilarity of it all
I lost my shoes the night you left me
Kicked them off when I started running
And Oh! They exclaim in dismay
She’s such a pretty mess of a life
And Oh! They exclaim in dismay
She’s such a tragic waste of time
There aint no use in crying
There aint no use in smiling
And maybe I’m not perfect
But damn it, I’m still trying
I forget everything but your name
Chanting it over and over again under my breath
Take my hand, I’m begging
Pleading for some security, some stability
Take my hand, I beg again
You just need to drink a little more to say you love me
I lost my way the night you left me
My head ached and my throat burned
I watched the world through vacant eyes
As they fussed over and talked about me
And I watched the world through vacant eyes
:iconlove-that-kid:love-that-kid 23 26
Listen to Me
Silently I look in your eyes
I ask myself over and over
why do I chase dreams
The ones I will never see
My dreams are draining happiness
I have ben fearing sleep
everynight I lie and cry
then I have the choice
over and over again
should I end this now
why not?
I don't see any point
to walk down that lonely street
you are not even hear
a word coming out of my mouth
so I guess I will
pull the trigger
and shut up
:iconheartlesswhispers:Heartlesswhispers 5 12
Oh Please. Love me.

Could I give you a kiss?
Things should start like this.
A chance like this..
A chance like this should never be missed.
Please just one kiss.
Drain my pain.
Clear my eyes.
and dry the rain.
Rolling down my cheeks.
I'm at the top.
I'm at my peak.
No more pain.
No more defeat.
With you by my side.
I can put everything aside.
Everything seems brighter.
It feels so much lighter.
Please. stay with me.
You make me feel whole.
I don't know think you know.
How much you mean to me.
How we should have been.
So please..
Wont you love me?
:iconaeonnezo:AeonNezo 6 22
You always felt
Like home
To me
I wish I still
Felt like home
To you
:iconintrinsica:Intrinsica 39 41
I'm not all that
You look at me, I look at you
A giggle escapes at your face of disbelieving,
At your face
That I wonder if it hides more then what you’ve said.
I look at you, you look at me
You say that I’m the most amazing
That I’m the most awesome
I disagree and mean it, if you knew me, you would too.
But you do know me, and I think I know you
So why is it that I am blind?
I want to not hurt,
I want to not kill
Another soul with my
Apparently ruthless skill
Of breaking hearts
Of wrecking havoc
With my “crazy awesomeness”
That I remind you, I do not possess.
I don’t like to choose
I don’t like to hurt
I don’t like to break
Anyone at all
I don’t want to do this
To anyone
And yet…
I’m put in this position,
I’m put in this place
By my friends who I love
And who love me for who they
“KNOW” I am
Get to REALLY know me
I’m not “all that”
I’m not who you think
Not at all
Why do I say this?
Why do so many like me?
I don&
:iconfirefolk:Firefolk 1 0



United States
  • Listening to: Maria Coma
I finally got the courage to come back to dA and actually LOG IN.
I was scared out of my mind because I knew what was waiting for me. I knew what I'd have to face if I so much as clicked on the messages tab.
And, in a sense, I was right. But I think I was able to handle it. Which is good.
I don't think that I'll be coming back again for a while though. I've simply learned that when I say I'll be back, that I don't always follow through on my word.
I guess I'm mostly leaving this journal, to let you know that I was here. Just this one time. I read everything.
If only I could explain. But I just can't.


Add a Comment:
x-TheBasicFlaw-x Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle: had a great time today!!! (saying this on dA cuz of my lack of cell phone minutes) :D
GoldenTriforce Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009
Well I had a good time too :)
helping-the-unknown Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2009
Hi! :party: Your work appears in this news article: [link]
Firefolk Featured By Owner May 29, 2009
*quietly meows*
you were great at the senior concert.
you made me cry.
i still don't know what the hell to do about you.
i'm sorry i'm a heartbreaker.
i would rather i'm not and i never was
and that i still had you.
Firefolk Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2008
Come back.
i miss you.
Hello dear
I havent talked to you in a while, how have you been?
sweetnevermore Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2008
heyyyy!! Happy Birthday!!!! =D
GoldenTriforce Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2008
Thankyou very much!!!
sweetnevermore Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2008
you're welcome
psychol-bob Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2008
Thanks for reading and for the awesome comments! :D
Add a Comment: