i don't think there are enough
words and grammatical points
to put into words the sadness i feel,
the wetness behind my eyes,
the heaviness in my chest.
i still died; I'm still fried.
i want to l a u g h at how s t u p i d this is,
but at the same time
i want to numb myself in the cocaine-
colored sparkles on the ground.
i have 1000+ reasons to just shut the hell up and s m i l e,
but i have 2000+ reasons to throw a well thought out,
grammatically c o r r e c t fit.