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I am what I am by Gilrael I am what I am :icongilrael:Gilrael 2 0
Literature
Migration
I'm a child of immigrants,
Travelling should be in my blood
And yet I remain rooted in the Black Forest.
“Russlanddeutsche”
Is what they call us, is what we call ourselves sometimes,
And in doing so we ignore the fact
That most of our families have never lived in Russia.
But USSR-Germans
Doesn't roll off our tongues quite as well
And in the end it wouldn't even change a thing.
I don't speak Russian
And the same goes for my brothers.
One of them used to, he still understands,
But speaking?
He doesn't speak anymore.
In my family my grandparents are the only ones who still know Kazakh.
I'm a child of immigrants,
Travelling should be in my blood
And yet I remain rooted in the Black Forest.
I look back on 300 years of family history.
It starts in Württemberg and ends in Baden.
They are Protestants amongst Catholics.
Emigration. They want to be closer to the Holy Land
When Judgement Day comes
And settle in the valleys of the Caucasus.
I know the German settlements only from
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 1 0
Literature
Migrantenkind
Ich bin ein Kind von Migranten,
Reisen sollte mir im Blut stecken
Und trotzdem bin ich mit dem Schwarzwald verwurzelt.
Russlanddeutsche
Nennt man uns, nennen wir uns manchmal selbst,
Und ignorieren dabei die Tatsache,
Dass die Meisten von unseren Familien nie in Russland gelebt haben.
Aber UdSSR-Deutsche
kommt nicht so leicht über die Zunge
Und würde am Ende doch nichts ändern.
Ich spreche kein Russisch,
Meine Brüder auch nicht.
Der Eine hat's mal gelernt, versteht es auch noch.
Aber reden?
Tut er nicht.
Kasachisch können in meiner Familie nur noch die Großeltern.
Ich bin ein Kind von Migranten,
Reisen sollte mir im Blut stecken
Und trotzdem bin ich mit dem Schwarzwald verwurzelt.
Ich blicke zurück auf 300 Jahre Familiengeschichte.
Sie beginnt in Württemberg und endet in Baden.
Man ist Protestant unter Katholiken.
Auswanderung, man will näher am gelobten Land sein,
Wenn der Tag des jüngsten Gerichts kommt,
Und siedelt in den Tälern
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 3 5
Elven Archer by Gilrael Elven Archer :icongilrael:Gilrael 3 3 Hoot by Gilrael Hoot :icongilrael:Gilrael 3 4
Literature
My grandma's thoughts on refugees
Grandma is scared of refugees.
And here I am being harassed
By the same white guys
That've lived here forever.
I don't believe in white knights in shining armour.
Sometimes I wonder
Where all this fear comes from.
I've always been scared
Of walking the streets at night.
It's just as bad as it used to be,
but it's not getting any worse.
Grandma says they don't belong.
Neither did our ancestors,
Who fled religious persecution
And ended up in Georgia.
In her mind they are all potential terrorists,
No matter their religion,
Or level of education.
Grandma was born in Georgia,
But never knew how to speak Georgian.
Now she complains about refugees
Who don't speak our language.
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 11 5
Not Silent by Gilrael Not Silent :icongilrael:Gilrael 2 3
Literature
I woke up
The day I woke up
Was the day I lost my innocence.
I opened my eyes for the first time
Only to bear witness to broken
Homes and twisted faith.
I wanted to close my eyes again,
But they wouldn't stay shut.
I'm walking through the ruins of my family
Strewn with rubble,
Through churches that in all their splendour
Forgot that they were founded
To right the wrongs
Of the ones before them.
Before I woke up
I never noticed the decay.
I want to rebuild,
But the priests won't let me.
Nowadays I understand
Why my parents left faith behind.
I can't do that, though.
It's what keeps me going,
Although my eyes are bloodshot
And my feet are sore.
I want to be a champion for the discriminated,
But I'm so tired.
The day I fall asleep again
Will probably be the day I die.
Before that,
I hope to find the strength
To tear down the walls of those churches
And use their stones to rebuild
The homes they have broken.
I woke up.
My eyes will stay open.
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 5 6
Literature
Cursed Well
You cursed the well
From which you drank.
Now you ask me where the water went.
It has trickled through the cracks
That were caused by your words;
It evaporated in the heat of the argument.
You say you're proud
Of the way I chose to take.
Now I'm afraid to tell you
That I won't follow in your footsteps.
Although you think I do,
I don't share your values.
I'm not known for blind faith.
I wish I could tell you the truth.
I probably could,
But it'd just cause you grief;
And I already said that I'm not like you.
Now I'm getting used to sleepless nights.
I'm forced to silence,
Because of a fight I'm not willing to fight,
Because of the pain you inflicted on your own kind.
So, to ease the voices in my head
That tell me to shout, I've
Now started to write you letters
Which you will never read,
Which won't heal any wound,
Because your words cut like knives,
Deep into their flesh and mine.
But maybe the letters will soothe my mind
And then I might be able to sleep again.
You cursed the well
From
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 0 0
Literature
Hoping beyond hope
All it takes is a second
And then it's over
In a bang.
So many
Years, thoughts, stories, memories
Are gone, maybe forever.
Worry and misdirected anger
Come and go,
Leaving behind a sense of helpless dread
As I wait,
And wait.
There's nothing else to do.
The only thing
That keeps my hands from shaking
Is keeping them busy;
Busy writing, typing.
But nothing can keep my thoughts
Away from utter chaos.
One single moment
And before you know it
Everything changes.
And that's why I sit here,
Hoping beyond hope,
That my prayers will be heard.
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 1 0
Manu and Ben by Gilrael Manu and Ben :icongilrael:Gilrael 0 0
Literature
Kleingedrucktes
Gib mir eine Stunde
oder einen ganzen Tag
und ich werde schreiben, reden, singen
bis mir die Zeit davon läuft,
denn mein Vorrat an Worten ist endlos.
Und diese Worte brennen, dröhnen, machen mich krank,
wenn sie nicht aus ihrem Gefängnis entfliehen,
wenn ich sie nicht gehen lasse.
Meine Worte heilen, zerstören, schockieren,
fordern auf zum Kampf gegen die Welt und diejenigen, die sie nicht ändern wollen.
Am liebsten würde ich sie schreien,
sodass jeder sie hört.
Doch am Ende sind meine Worte nur ein Flüstern,
hinfortgetragen vom Wind,
Kleingedrucktes weggewaschen vom Regen.
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 6 8
Literature
My own home
I'll build my own world
With rainbows glittering over waterfalls.
I'll dream my own dreams
While the sun sets behind prison walls.
Throw your sticks and stone,
I'll make my own home.
I'll run my own race
Where living fast doesn't mean I'll win.
I'll walk my own path
And find out where adventures begin.
I don't want your throne,
I'll make my own home.
I'll sing my own song,
Accompanied by my dearest friends.
I'll drown my own fears
At the place where the road ends.
I'm made of flesh and bone,
So I'll find my own home.
:iconGilrael:Gilrael
:icongilrael:Gilrael 11 0
Blaue Stunde by Gilrael Blaue Stunde :icongilrael:Gilrael 0 3 White Forest 03 by Gilrael White Forest 03 :icongilrael:Gilrael 3 0 White Forest 02 by Gilrael White Forest 02 :icongilrael:Gilrael 2 0

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deviantID

Gilrael
Emma Katharina R.
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Germany
I'm a student from Germany. I study English and Chemistry in order to become a teacher and I am very interested in painting (digital and traditional), writing (in English and German), photo-manipulation and photography.

My second account (novels): :icongiliwrites:
Interests
(I'm gonna post this in German, because it probably won't be interesting for anyone who doesn't understand German xD)

Ich bin ja nicht geade ein Mensch, der gerne die Werbetrommel rührt, aber für Farina de Waard mache ich da eine Ausnahme ;) Solltet ihr nicht wissen, von wem ich spreche, schaut einfach hier und lest ihre Bücher (dort findet ihr auch alle Infos zum Wettbewerb). Wer auf Fantasy steht wird nicht enttäuscht sein! Jedenfalls veranstaltet sie einen Fanfiction-Schreibwettbewerb, an dem ich selbst auch teilnehmen werde. Wird bestimmt eine lustige Sache und die Preise sind auch nicht ohne (wer kann schon zu MPS-Karten nein sagen?).
  • Listening to: Blind Guardian
  • Reading: The last warner woman
  • Watching: Haikyuu!!
  • Playing: Diablo 3
  • Eating: Crisps
  • Drinking: Tea

Activity


Pride

ALL LOVE IS EQUAL

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:iconbaronautumn:
BaronAutumn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave :)
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:icongilrael:
Gilrael Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :D
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
Reply
:iconannaivri:
Annaivri Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! Gift for You 
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 27th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
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     bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
bunch of smiley faces
     bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faceslittle demon left [f2u]
Bendy the Dancin' lil Devil IconMoving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 iconHeart 3DMoving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 iconBendy the Dancin' lil Devil Iconlittle demon right [f2u]bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
     bunch of smiley faceslittle demon 2 left [f2u]Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon 
Virtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - YMoving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 iconlittle demon 2 right [f2u]bunch of smiley faces
Fireball PixelMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - YMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconFireball Pixel
 Pixel Icon: Broken Ink Heart (F2U!)Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 02Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 03Eye BnW 01Eye BnW 02Pixel Icon: Broken Ink Heart (F2U!)
candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles 
                                                       Rainbow Letter: S (Static) Rainbow Letter: E (Static) Rainbow Letter: L (Static) Rainbow Letter E (Animated) Rainbow Letter: C (animated) Rainbow Letter: T (Static)    Rainbow Letter: A (Static)    Rainbow Letter: G (Static) Rainbow Letter: I (Static) Rainbow Letter: F (Static) Rainbow Letter: T (Static)
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2016
Happy birthday! :D
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:icongilrael:
Gilrael Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
thanks :)
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2016
No problem! :3
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2016
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's November 27th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: Ashofta :squee:
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