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Why you should read Twilight

By Gigglish
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EDIT: Ack. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be responding to comments on the comics anymore unless it really picks up my interest XD it takes up WAAAYYY too much of my time to do so. Lul. I feel kinda bad, though - everyone deserves a response XD

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Because everyone should sooooo read Twilight.

BEWARE OF SEMI-LONG RANT.

Augh. I know a lot of people who hate Twilight, especially now that it's gaining popularity. Unfortunately, this is also the reason why more and more people like Twilight. My question is: WHY?!

For one, THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL FUCKING MARY SUES. Bella is so ridiculously clumsy that, rather than being an endearing character trait, it's a huuuuuge fault. Not only that, but EVERYONE. LOVES. HER. Now why is that? Especially considering the fact that, ummm, she's not supposed to be pretty? Not only that, but she can be such a bitch, too. And in Eclipse, she's downright horny. Pretty sickening, consider the one she wants to get it on with is dead. Damn necrophiliac...

Then there's Edward. He sucks at life, seriously. LOL 102-year-old virgin, anyone? Drama queen. Priss. Tries to be virtuous by refusing to have sex with Bella and PRETTY MUCH ATTEMPTING TO FREAKING RAPE HER AT THE END OF ECLIPSE. WATCHES HER SLEEP. Stalked Bella. And you know what? She didn't even care. She was actually FLATTERED that a potential murderer was following her around and staring at her through her window. Wow. No teenage girl can seriously be that trusting.

And then there's Jacob, who I was too lazy to draw. Two words: Fucking. Rapist.

Okay, so putting characters aside, let's talk about the plot. See the size of the book? Well, take a #2 pencil and admire it's size. Got it to memory? Well, if you chopped out all the bullshit and about 9/10 of Bella's thoughts focused on Edward, that's what the size of Twilight would be. As stated above, in the illustration, 298 pages in New Moon was wasted on the fucking "gaping hole" in Bella's chest. Errr, okay. But Jacob tried to help her! That was made null and void by the fact that she fucking left him to go with the guy who LEFT HER IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST AT LIKE MIDNIGHT.

Then there's Eclipse. Oh, Eclipse. Why oh why is Bella important enough to warrant a fucking VAMPIRE ARMY TO GO KILL HER? Seriously. And, oh look! She decides she loves BOTH Edward and Jacob (that whore!)~ Eeeyeah. Okay.

So yeah. I'm really far too lazy to rant more about how there's a lack of real plot and character depth. Yeah...


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Hahaha, ugly comic. Must go get another sugar cone. I am sooooo remaking this in the future xDDD

Does anyone see the reference to the worst fanfic ever? Enoby srsly reminds me of Bella during New Moon.

I could go on and on. I won't because I'm starting to get bored LOL.

Bella, Edward, Twilight, etc. (c) Stephenie Meyer
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Comments1479
anonymous's avatar
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RamenNoodleLord's avatar
And this is why I'm rewriting the books.  XD Awesome meme
KitKat2345's avatar
I've never read twilight.

My friend says it's a good book.
LadyClassical's avatar
I don't think that could REALLY be the worst fanfiction ever. I mean, I've never read a Twilight fanfiction, but I HAVE read some sh*t, and how bad could it possibly be? Then again, fanfiction is generally read more charitably than original fiction, so...who knows?
SkepticalCynical's avatar
That my immortal reference tho
Lady-Anzu's avatar
Twilight makes My Immortal look like Disney.
SeveralShadesOfRed's avatar
That My Immortal reference ROFL
nerdforever-19's avatar
THIS IS SO TRUE! I only watched 1 twilight movie and the only good thing about it was that.......... I forget which movie and what happened :D
FightForTheFallen's avatar
Bellas clumsiness was the worst part for me. I mean, she was only clumsy when Stephanie wanted to incorporate it. I honestly don't remember a time when Bella burns herself, cuts herself or drops something while cooking. I really don't. Her supposed chronic clumsiness appears to hate the story so much that it isn't even there for the large majority of it.


I have to wonder, did the publisher even read the book? if they did, someone tell me where Stephanie published the book so I can make thousands of dollars off of a badly written novel.
omgsuchamaze's avatar
Actually, if I remember correctly, Twilight was rejected about 17 times before it got published. Yeah.
FightForTheFallen's avatar
lol, so she pestered them to death into publishing it? :P
FightForTheFallen's avatar
It's nice to know that some publishers resisted. Some people just can't take no for an answer :P
DreadedOne131's avatar
stephenie_Meyer: Oh My Gosh, I really really don't want to read that series now!
UltimateFangirl1234's avatar
I seriously love this so much right now. The comic AND the rant. XD It's hilariously true, lol.
KazeGirl21's avatar
So true. Bella would've been better with Jacob, though I'm not a Twilight fan.
LadyClassical's avatar
Jacob is an insult to werewolf-kind...
GweCanfan's avatar
Both Bella and Edward are horible characters they are so horible that they do belong together. I read the frist two books and couldn't bring my self to read the last two once I realized how bad the writing was I was never a fan I just wantted to reread the series again to get an understanding of what all my friends at the time saw in it and I have to say the whole series sucks very bad. Stephanie can't write for shit hell her fans fanfic is better writen than her whole series that's pretty sad not to mention the spelling error I came upon in new moon *sigh* despite my haterd for it theur are some characters I still like only because I think they're too cool to be owned by steph like jasper alice rose and leah but I shouldn't feel this way because the story isn't about the four of them its about an averge hony pathetic bitch and a sparkeling stalker creepo who some how end up falling for one another well I'm finished
Seven-deadly-turtles's avatar
HAHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAAHA I laughed so hard at the 'My Immortal' reference, and that is just so true about Twilight XD
WeasleyWoman's avatar
I was about to say the exact same thing :XD: Ebony and Bella are joint queens of Mary Sue-ness! But the question is... WHICH OF THEIR CRAPPY STORIES IS CRAPPIEST?
Seven-deadly-turtles's avatar
Oh man, I'd say Twilight, because My Immortal was probably (And hopefully) a total joke. Besides, My Immortal hasn't sold a hundred million copies to teenagers worldwide. >.<
WeasleyWoman's avatar
Yeah, I keep hoping it was all a joke, but who would put so much effort into about 40 chapters of practically zero grammar and total unoriginality, mixed in with the creation of the Harry Potter characters' "goffik" selves? But then again, you state a valid point about the mass selling to teenagers. I saw this interview with Robert Pattinson and he said he thought Stephenie Meyer was a bit nutty :XD: But at least us Potter fans have something to hold over Twilight's head: Pattinson was in our series BEFORE he was in theirs! :P
Seven-deadly-turtles's avatar
Haha! Yes!! I actually recently got into HP, I saw the first movie and read the first three books and I already know that HP pwns Twilight hard
anonymous's avatar
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