Ghouliboo

(WC: 302) When his time to present was near, Spade’s spaded tail began to flick back and forth with excitement. He couldn’t help himself -- this sort of thing was what he lived for. Thrived for. As his name was called, his two volunteer assistants lifted up both ends of the small table and carried the furniture out to the center of the arena, Spade following after them, one chair hooked under each arm. The chairs and table were simple pieces - just accessories needed for the event itself, of course. The chairs were tucked under the table and soon, a third assistant appeared, hugging dark bottles against their chest as they hurried forward. An even darker liquid began to slosh around, kept from spilling by the corks still nestled in the mouths of the bottles. A pair of glasses soon joined the bottles in the center of the table, Spade soon taking one of the chairs for himself as he pulled it out. “This is simple -- a drinking challenge. Who can outdrink the other? A test of

The following has been captioned for your viewing pleasure by the Coliseum Translation TEAM (Treats Eating All Messages), led by Jack: “...Mmmmmmmn…” Translation: Are you ready to be challenged in ways you’ve never imagined? Pushed to the edge, to your every limit? Because what we’re about to do is no easy task, it’s an ancient skill and an art, and not many people can claim to master the delicate intricacies of the craft. That’s right, you might have already guessed it. Today… “...Yaaaaaaaawn…” Translation: ...You’ve been challenged to perform the best nap. Vacuous, soulful staring. Translation: Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘Napping? That’s just sitting still to rest!’ And that, my friend, is where you’d be wrong. To nap is to sleep, perchance to dream, to invite a stillness within yourself such that the entropy of the universe is reversed in your spirit, enveloping you in a deep and endless velvet calm. Tell me, how long can you sit still with yourself while the edges of