Tears in Our Beers
The Prompt: Snotlout and Tuffnut crying together in their beer because all the awesome girls has been taken and they're kinda the lonely.
"Another round, bar wench!" Snotlout cried, slurring more than a bit. The bartender rolled her eyes and deposited fresh tankards in front of him and Tuffnut.
Snotlout picked his up and turned back towards Tuff. "So like I was sayin', it's just not fair, bro."
"Oh, I know, man," Tuffnut said, clinking their mugs together before taking a long drink.
"It's like, there are other girls and all, but they're not the same."
"Not at all," Tuff agreed.
"I mean, Astrid is like, like...like a rare, perfect gem in a world filled with dull stones and misshapen dust." Snotlout looked off into the distance, misty-eyed. "A shining example of everything a man could want in a woman."
"Yeah!" Tuffnut said, then, "What?"
"But Hiccup's all with the big hero these days! How am I supposed to compete with that? She's all, 'You're the Viking! But I'm gonna go suck face with this guy now.'"
"Dude, I can't even talk to girls! They're all like, 'We're scared your sister's going to beat us up,' or, 'We're looking for someone who has his own dragon,' or, 'I don't wanna go out with you, but I'd love to braid your hair.' This chick spent two frickin' hours on my hair, and then she just left!"
"Teases!" Snotlout said, pounding his tankard on the bar. "They're all cockteases, every one of 'em."
"S'cruel, man, just cruel."
"And Ruff! I mean, she's kinda freaky. I'd hit that. But she's dating the nerd." Snotlout suddenly sat up straight, a look of horror dawning on his face. "Tuff, the nerd has a girlfriend before we do."
Tuffnut's jaw dropped, then he threw his head back and wailed. "Oh gods, we're so pathetic. We're, we're like, losers man!"
"Don't you even say that, man!" Snotlout said, pointing dramatically at Tuff. "We just gotta find some chicks, even if they're less awesome than Astrid and Ruff."
"Do you know any other chicks?"
"No, do you?"
Tuffnut shook his head, then suddenly widened his eyes in worry. "Oh gods, Lout, half the girls I know are, are my sister. That makes dating really hard." He grabbed Snotlout's shoulders and began shaking him and sobbing. "Why is it so hard?"
"I feel your pain, man," Snotlout said, and they collapsed on top of each other, bawling.
Astrid rubbed her temple as she watched the boys. "Gay."
"They're not, actually," Hiccup said. "That's the whole problem. If they were, they could just..."
Astrid raised her hand to silence him. "Please don't finish that thought."
They watching the blubbering boys for a few more seconds, then Hiccup said, "You wanna go make out where they can see us?"
Astrid tapped one finger to her lips in thought, then turned to Hiccup. "Yes. Yes I do."
Hiccup gallantly gestured for her to lead the way, which she did with a flourish.
Stop! Banjo Time!
The Prompt: Fishlegs playing a banjo in the mead hall
Astrid cocked her head and followed the odd twanging sound, weaving through the crowd more or less inebriated Vikings that always occupied the Hall at night. She pulled up short when she saw Fishlegs. He was standing in an open area and strumming away at a strange instrument with a round head and a long, stringed neck. Ruffnut was sitting nearby, listening raptly.
"What is that?" Astrid asked her quietly when she got close enough.
"He calls it a bang-o or something, I wasn't really paying attention," Ruffnut said.
"Where'd it come from?"
Ruffnut shrugged. Astrid looked at Fishlegs again, then called, "Hey Legs, where'd you find that thing?"
"Oh, I didn't find it!" he said. "I made it! Or, well, I designed it, and Hiccup helped me put it together."
Astrid lifted her eyebrows. "Huh. Speaking of, where is the little inventor?"
"He went off somewhere with Snotlout and Tuffnut."
"They're drunk!" Ruffnut whispered loudly to Astrid. "The lot of 'em!"
"No!" Astrid said in pretend shock, looking from Ruffnut's hazy gaze to the empty tankards on the table next to her. "I'm gonna go grab some mead. You guys want anything?"
"Yes please!" Ruffnut chirped, and Fishlegs shook his head. Astrid smirked a bit and wandered off.
The bar was even busier than usual, and it took Astrid some time to get the drinks and head back. Then she had to force her way through the crowd that had for some reason gathered in the area she had left Legs and Ruff. As she tried to dodge errant elbows and axes, she could hear odd snatches of unusual music, and found herself wondering how much noise a bang-o could make on its own. Then she finally reached the front of the crowd and came to an abrupt stop, jaw dropping in shock.
"Hi Astrid!" Hiccup called from where he, Snotlout, and Tuffnut had joined Fishlegs in what had become an impromptu staging area. "We made a band!"
"Out of what, garbage?" Astrid asked, but he didn't answer. He was busy plucking away at some twine he had strung between the top handle of a butter churn and its base. Lout and Tuff and improvised instruments too, although they hadn't seemed to put nearly as much thought into theirs. Snotlout had a cowbell that he banged with a spoon, and as far as Astrid could tell Tuffnut was just blowing into an empty jug.
Still, considering that Astrid was afraid to ask how much mead they had to have consumed to make this seem like a good idea, they at least managed a decent rhythm. And everyone around looked like they were having a good time. So Astrid shook her head and went to stand by Ruff.
Ruffnut was waving her arms in the air and bouncing in her seat like she was trying to dance without having to stand up. "What're you doing?" Astrid asked.
"I'm being a groupie!"
"You're...okay, why not?" Astrid said, and sat next to her, deciding to just go along with it.
A few minutes later they boys finished up whatever song they had been playing to enthusiastic applause. Ruffnut jumped up and cheered. "Thank you, thank you," Fishlegs said. "For our next number --" Ruffnut tackled him, and the bang-o fell to the ground with a clatter.
Tuffnut laughed, and Hiccup said, "I think that means our set's up, guys." He turned to see Astrid standing next to him. He regarded her for a moment, then motioned grandly towards the butter churn. "Ta-da!"
Astrid smirked. "You have weird hobbies."
"Yes! No wait, I mean, I mean...wait, yeah, yeah I do."
"And you're drunk."
Astrid looked past him to Fishlegs and Ruffnut. "And I think we should go now."
Hiccup quickly turned around, then just as quickly looked back at Astrid. "Yes!"
"Come on rock star," Astrid said with a smile, taking his hand and leading him away.
The Prompt: girl hiccup go go go [i mean. he's almost there anyway.]
There was a tapping sound, and Astrid looked up from where she had been organizing her weapons, then glanced at the window. The tapping sound came again, and Astrid walked over and pushed the shutters open.
Hiccup was outside the window, although he quickly ducked out of the light coming from the house. Toothless was in the distance, curled up on the ground at the back of the yard. "Astrid, we have a problem," Hiccup whispered, his voice oddly high pitched.
Astrid furrowed her brow in confusion and said, "What is it?"
Hiccup looked around nervously, and gestured for Astrid to come outside. "It's kinda hard to explain." He was almost cowering in the shadows, and the position made him look even smaller than usual. Astrid's expression grew even more concerned, and she climbed out the window.
"What's wrong with your voice?" she asked as Hiccup squared his shoulders and stepped into the light. "And your face? And your...breasts..."
Astrid's jaw dropped as she stared at the young woman in front of her. The young woman who looked quite a lot like Hiccup, and answered to Hiccup, but was most assuredly not the boyfriend Astrid had seen just that morning.
"What...what..." Astrid gave up. There were no words.
"I don't know!" girl Hiccup said, flinging her hands into the air. "Toothless and I were flying over Helheim's Gate, then all of a sudden there was this big puff of -- not smoke exactly, but something. And then this!" She gestured towards her substantially altered body, and Astrid pressed a fist to her mouth in concern. "I think Toothless is a girl now too, but he won't let me get close enough to check. We have to do something!"
"Do something?" Astrid asked vaguely, obviously still trying to process what exactly was going on.
"Yes! I mean, I'm, I'm a --" Hiccup abruptly stopped and visibly tried to calm herself down. "Okay, we can do this. We'll go back to Helheim's Gate, do some investigating, figure out a way to solve the problem --"
"Oh no," Astrid said.
Hiccup stopped. "Astrid?"
Astrid was biting a knuckle now, and Hiccup suddenly realized the look on her face wasn't concern. It was something far, far different. "This...isn't a problem," Astrid said. "Not at all."
Hiccup froze, then slowly began to back away as Astrid just as slowly began to stalk forward. "What...what are you doing?"
The only answer Astrid gave was a wicked grin.
You don't understand how much I loved the last one...
These are awesome
Hey, curious question, would you mind if I turned that last prompt, the gender bending one, into a larger fanfiction? I could have a lot of fun with it and I would really appreciate having something to do. ^^
Have fun. I did it purely for the crack, so it's not as though I'm going to do anything else with it.
lol The crack part is why I would love to write a little more for this prompt. lol Thanks! I'll let you know what I end up writing. =3
Haha LOVE the last one!!
YAAAY for tears in our beers!!!!
These were all funny and adorable, I especially liked the 'hair-braiding' joke in the first prompt.
Hah, great set of mini-fics. The last one especially had me laughing. ^_^
So, there's a DA version as well. *insta-fave*
So, there's a DA version as well. *insta-fave*