(Long journal up ahead.)
Okay, just giving you a little update. I'm aiming for 24 chapters now (orz, I know, right?... Too long...) But such is the story progression... better than me rushing it, and having it suck, right? (Well, for real, I'm at chapter 20 now, and it's only just now getting into the climax-- I am just estimating that it'll be around 24, but it might be more.)
Anyway, I said that to say... that I'm kind of depressed over it.
I mean, that's essentially 16 more chapters than what I already have... (And I have only done 8 (well, almost) in the past 15 years!... lol... Realistically... I have no idea when that will get done, based on my current uploading schedule. (I try to do 1-2 pgs. a week.) Of course, if this was my full-time job, I would have no problem getting out a chapter every month (or two months, if it's super-long, like Chapter 8 is gonna be, lol...). But... it's sadly not. And, I don't really feel comfortable in having people buy a doujinshi since it's officially against the law. (Plus, I don't think I have enough readers/interest to pay for that anyway). I'd like to keep it free, if I can. However, it just stinks, because that means I cannot do it full-time and make lots of pages for you all. I'm still on the fence on what I plan to do with it.
My current schedule: (hypothetically, if it ends up being 24 chapters)
Uploading 1-2pgs a week= One chapter a year (maybe two, if we're lucky, or if they're short).
= 16+ more years. Non-stressful, but loonnngg...
Uploading 7 pages a week= One chapter every two months or so (since they seem to be long...)
= 4+ more years... I doubt that could happen, unless I stress myself... or quit one of my jobs, orz (which I cannot do for a fancomic XD).
Regular manga-ka's schedule:
Uploading/ drawing 1-2 pages a day= One chapter a month.
= 1 1/2-2 years. Yeahhh.... not gonna happen (though I wish it would, lol).
...Well, at least those are better than my old, lax "schedule" which was like... 4 pages a YEAR, lolz. (Yeah, that would never be getting done!)
I really wanna get it done, but then again, I don't want to:
A.) Stress myself, since this is supposed to be for fun anyway
B.) Rush the artwork or story, then all of that time will be useless if it ends up sucking anyway
C.) Wait too long, and have to rewrite everything all over, because it'll be outdated.
D.) Wait TOO long, and no one is interested in reading it anymore, lol.
I like using TD for practice, like to show/update how my style has changed throughout the years. But I could do that with any manga, srsly...
A part of me is feeling like TD is holding me back from being a true, pro manga/comic artist. Like, I'll always feel like I'll suck and am 'not good enough' until I finish this and stop doing doujinshis. It's an insecurity of mine, I guess. But, like I said, TD is good practice... but... is that all I care about it for?
No, I like the story of it too; though, it's questionable if others will like the direction it will be going in, later on (but this was the "plot" all along... lol). Honestly, it only had a real 'plot' since like... chapter 3, maybe xDD... It was originally supposed to be a one-shot, maybe 5 chapters, at the most (believe it or not)!
I get carried away in my stories.
But, it's hard for me to focus on this and another story at the same time. Maybe it's a weakness, I don't know. But it sure is distracting. Maybe once I write it all out, I'll be able to mentally move on to other projects (even though, I could still be drawing this on the side... the writing is the hardest part.)
Also, another thing that's depressing me about it (well, only a small part of me is depressed about it-- the other side is super-excited/happy!)...
All of the new DBZ content!
... I originally made TD as a homage to the end of GT and DBZ, and ORIGINALLY, it was an ORIGINAL story (I'm talking about where I am now, chapter 20+, in the written chapters). At the time, I never once thought that DBZ would be "revived" in any way with all of the new video games, comics (/side stories like Jaco, etc.) and even new movies/ t.v. specials!! It's actually awesome, really, and I'm super-excited for it!
However... with all of this, all of my (once) original ideas are becoming not so very original anymore?? I've had to change the story a couple of times in the middle (won't tell you where... but you might figure it out later?) because of the new content. I'd like to be as canon as possible, while still being original. However, I know that TD will never be completely canon anyway XD This is just my own little adventure-land, head-canon world, lol. Still, head-canon or fantasy-world, or not, I would still like if it it didn't seem that I was copying other stories! (Though it WAS original at the time...)
As long as they don't make a movie/comic dealing with Present Trunks and Mirai Trunks switching places (and have it be a romantic comedy), I think I'm good xD xD...
Essentially, that's what it is; a romantic comedy, with small fighting parts, which is something that DBZ only had small hints of (but I wish there were more!~~). And who knows-- at this rate, with all of this new stuff, we may get even more~!!
Still, you might see later, how it intercedes and or/connects with some of the current DBZ canon, which used to not be so... but, hey, that's what happens when you work on a fancomic. Stuff can change, if the original author decides to change it.
And, the last thing that discouraged me a little is... well, I remembered a convo/ q&a thing that an actual mangaka gave to me-- that I respect a SUPER LOT-- and they told me that I should do my own original stuff... instead of doujinshi.
Now, usually it wouldn't matter, but let's just say that this particular manga artist holds a lot of weight for me in his/her words. (And for them to even speak to me/answer my questions, period, was a huge honor!)
I kinda agree with them. I just need to get this story out somehow... ughhhh.......
So... I am really at a loss on what to do. I can't even promise 1-2 pages a week, really. This just so happens that I have a small block of time lately, where I can work on extra stuff. (But I can't guarantee that it'll be here, months down the road...) Let alone, my drive to do this comic again. (Which is why I'm at least trying to write it all out before I lose the drive/motivation again.)
I wanna do what's best for you all, too. I'm trying to imagine myself as a reader, and what I would want. ...If you read all of that, bonus points, lol. I also may be looking for a one-man/woman beta reader??... But I might not use any XD Just wondering if there's any interest XD (I kinda like no one knowing what will go on in my story...). But I will have had to know you for a while, and trust that you won't give out spoilers (and don't MIND being spoiled. lol.)
Most of my motivation for drawing it is to have people guess what will happen next. If I upload the whole story to some, and not others, well, that drive will totally go away, I know it. If it's just one person, it should be okay. But, mehhh......... it's just a maybe. ('Cause I might end up changing the story anyway; but maybe just the latter part, which is not written yet... I kinda like how it is now, up to chapter 20. (I might just do little edits...))
So, why am I continuing to do this?... With no set schedule in mind to finish it?...
I'd hate to completely 'give up' on it, but... realistically... when will it ever get done?
Am I just trying to escape from reality?
... I dunno...
Also, I'm sick again. -_- lol, isn't helping my mood a bit...
Here's some inspiration though!!www.wweek.com/portland/article…
“Homer said: ‘Always lead with your best stuff. Always put your best shot up there first.’ It’s great advice. He was a mentor for a lot of guys.” —Richard Blakeslee, filmmaker
“One of the absolute greatest things I have ever heard about the artistic impulse came directly from Homer. He just kind of tossed it off as a whimsical remark, but it stayed with me: ‘The object of painting is not
to cover the wall. It’s to empty the can.’ It’s the perfect impression of the artistic impulse and love. The object is to get this thing out of you. Neither Sophocles nor Shakespeare could have put it better.” —Mahar
And with that, I'm outie!
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Quotes I like: genaminna.deviantart.com/journ…