I'm pretty sure a lot of you remember me for my art; in my standards, they seemed to be popular due to my focus on creativity. Throughout time, I have improved a little in terms of drawing methods (from tradition to digital), though admittedly, I used bases for designing clothes. Back then, drawing was fun because I knew my unique ideas would lead to positive emotions from viewers. My art style was somewhat lacking, but considering the subjectivity of quality, all that mattered to me was the fun in standing out and giving some cliches new twists and ideas. In some cases, I would do requests for friends and other users to demonstrate my drawing skills to make others happy and earn more respect.
But as I got older, I haven't really improved nor did I have the motivation to, so I simply stopped drawing. During my time in college, drawing became less fun for me, but I also come to realize how my popularity was dropping and my art pales in comparison to many others, including the friends I make. With that said, I felt like since I could just save others' quality fan art (without reposting of course) that I enjoy so much, so I felt no need to draw any more art due to my lack the time and mental energy (not to mention personal issues in college). What really hurt me, however, was knowing the glaring flaws in my art: stiff posing, messy lining, anatomical mistakes, the lack of shading, and worst of all, declining creativity. While other artists kept improving, when I posted my last art pieces, scathing critiques and the lack of faves were a possible sign that "my time was up."
That said, I know I shouldn't have compared myself to others, and I should have been practicing like other artists, but the thing was, stress and limited patience overcame me, art classes would have been a hassle, and my resources were very limited. Also, my college classes were much more important, though my mental and emotional health kept deteriorating (less motivation and concentration). Furthermore, I'd rather post a few decent artworks to take my time on and then love, rather than pumping up numerous half-hearted art (showing only superficial/inconsistent improvement) that I would ultimately wish to forget.
Sometime later, I realized that I could go for a new direction to improve my reputation, like managing a club and bringing numerous artists for collaborations. The benefits were mutual; artists had lots of fun, we helped a portion of DA to find and maintain true unity, and fans and friends praised me for my newfound leadership. In detail of my leadership, participating artists enjoy my sense of charm, engagement (like addressing special circumstances), and transparency where I would continuously adjust my rules and other actions to satisfy as many people as possible. Heck, one of them told me that I was unlike other event hosts where their communication with members was "more lacking."
But does this improve my art skills or even made feel very good about my art? Well, not even close, but out of somewhat regained enthusiasm, I did participate in one of my own collabs, though due to even worse criticism, I was uncertain on whether I should've discarded my contribution or kept it. In the end, I continued to question my creativity as hosting events was overall more fun than drawing nowadays.
Regardless, I am very glad and thankful that I still have fans and friends who support me whenever I can despite my recent lack of drawings or quality, so I plan to stay on DA. Turns out, it's not simply because of my art skills, my position as a club co-founder, or even collabs and other big events, but simply, my kindness, loyalty, and sense of justice to society. Granted, I make mistakes and even let my emotions get the better of me, but when times change, I hope to keep doing what makes me and others happy for whatever direction I choose. In general, my enthusiasm comes before popularity, and it no longer matters to me if I draw anymore or not. As for my existing art, I simply hope my past ideas continue a legacy for all viewers to remember.
Let me know if you have questions.