“Hannah, I need haircut!”
“Bernie! I just gave you one a couple days ago! Why are you giving me tsuris!”
“Not for my head, meshuggeneh! It’s for my crotch! I want the base around my putz to be very smooth.”
“Why, for heavens sake?”
“For my brand new schlong pump! If I want a good seal, all the hair around the base needs to be gone.”
“Oh I see! You want I should shave the rest of your crotch bald too?”
“No...leave a nice stubble beard like the goyim wear. I don’t want to get the nubs.”
“OK...anything else? A bris maybe?”
“No, the rabbi cut that off a long time ago...very funny.”
“Who knows? Maybe that crazy pump will grow you another foreskin.”
“I doubt it. But you never know. Let’s see how your little nipple pumps are doing their magic.”
Bernie took off his wife’s sweater and bra and inspected Hannah’s nipples. Her small breasts were starting to retain some of the swollen puffiness caused by her numerous pumping sessions. He then pulled down her sweat pants and panties to reveal her glorious fat belly and huge ass. He wrapped his hands around her waist to grab her butt and press his face into her soft tummy blubber.
“Bernie! You’ve stripped me naked here! What’s come over you?”
“I can’t help it. Your big body drives me wild!”
“What happened to you wanting your lap haircut?”
“I still want that...but we both need to do it nude so we don’t get any hair on our clothes.”
“What a tummler you are. Always with the sexy entertainment. So...do a strip tease for me!”
“Hannah...you nafkah you. Shake that sexy body while I undress.”
Hannah wiggled her fat hips while Bernie got naked as a jay bird. Needless to say her sexy dance made him hard as nails and ready to pound one in. Hannah got a towel to put over the arm of their sofa and bent over it with her legs spread open.
“Come and get it, bubala! I am dripping!”
“Open up those cheeks! Here comes papa’s pink torpedo!”
After a vigorous round of schtupping, the exhausted couple took a shower and had a short nap. They remained naked as they got up and proceeded to manscape Bernie.
“Oy, Bernie! You really gave it to me. I’m still feeling the afterglow.”
“ Yeah...and you still have what it takes to make me plotz with lust. By the way, How’s it going down there in the hairy forest?”
“I got most of it done. Just need to do a little more shaving around your schmeckke.”
“Careful with that razor! I don’t want my scrotum fercockt.”
“It could do with a shave, but don’t worry, I won’t touch it!”
After was Hannah was done, Bernie got his official Ron Jeremy penis pump out of it’s box.
“Hannah, get the baby oil and your nipple cups. We’ll do this together!”
They both jumped on top of the bed naked which made their flabby skin jiggle a bit.
Hannah looked over at Bernie’s vacuum tube.
“Who the hell is Ron Jeremy?”
“He’s a nice Jewish boy from Queens who made it big in the adult movie business.”
“Was he a good-looking man?”
“Not really. In fact, he was so hairy, they called him THE HEDGEHOG!”
“Feh, why was he a success?”
“He had a very talented schlong that was huge. It could stay hard and cum on cue!”
“I suppose that comes in handy in naughty movies.”
“Exactly. But I don’t need all that. I just want my putz like I want my suits...cut a little fuller.”
“To match your fat gut? Haw! Haw!”
“No...to match your fat ‘knish’!”
“I hope you meant that as a compliment.”
“You know I did. I love your fat ‘knish’. In fact, you could use one of your pumps to make it even fatter.”
“Is such a thing possible?”
“Sure. Look at these pictures on my phone.”
Bernie typed in “pumped pussy” and showed Hannah the photos.
“Oh meyn got! Those are MONSTERS! You like that?”
“They’re so plump and delicious.”
“Sometimes I wonder, if all this pumping has sucked out some of your brains, Bernie.”
“You might be right, Hannah. All of this IS pretty silly. But like Mick Jagger says about Rock and Roll...
It’s only flesh and blood...but I like it!”