Challenge Winner: FFM 2018 + DD
|5 min read
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GDeyke's avatar
By GDeyke   |   Watch
3 44 624 (1 Today)
Published: June 30, 2018
UPDATE: joe-wright got a hold of me in chat and made a compelling series of arguments, to wit:
1. It is clearly the will of the people
2. [ceaseless flattery]
3. There doesn't need to be any mention of cowardice, does there?
...as a result of which I have somehow been persuaded to take on his All-Star challenge in addition to the month-long challenges I already committed to, and of course FFM's official challenges. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NO LESS THAN FIVE OF YOU WHO VOTED FOR IT. Here's a refresher on what that entails:
The All-Star challenge.
Over the course of FFM, your oeuvre must address the following items:
  • -Something somebody once told you
  • -The sharpest tool
  • -A finger and a thumb
  • -The shape of an L
  • -What does it mean to be 'fed to the rules'?
  • -A smart brain and a dumb head
  • -"You'll never shine if you don't glow"
  • -Definitive proof that all that glitters is in fact gold
  • -A shooting star that breaks the mold
  • -The meteor men, and the hole in the satellite picture
  • -Skating on thin ice
  • -The world on fire
  • -"Can you spare some change for gas?"
  • -An all-star, getting their game on, and going to play, or alternatively and perhaps easier, a rock star, getting the show on, and getting paid.
  • -Shrek
This isn't going to be unreasonably difficult at all, right? Right???? THREE MONTH-LONG CHALLENGES ON TOP OF THE OFFICIAL ONES SEEMS PERFECTLY REASONABLE.

You're not going to get any points or anything, joe-wright, but not only do you get to cackle madly while I pirouette around this series of handicaps, you have also earned my unending admiration for your skills of persuasion. I mean, maybe I'm pretty easy to manipulate, but we both come out of this looking better if we pretend that I'm not and you're just very, very persuasive.

END UPDATE, ORIGINAL JOURNAL CONTINUES BELOW

FlashFictionMonth starts tomorrow, and it's time to select a winner from among the 27 challenges I've been issued this month. That's more than double the challenges I received last year!

It's also kind of an awkward number. I could deal with this using a random number generator, but that wouldn't afford me a chance to use my fancy dice; so I guess I'm using a d100 and re-rolling until I get a valid number.

The winning number is... 66! Wait... 88! No, 68!

...This may take a while.

Skipping all the invalid numbers, our actual winner is: 26!

Our winning challenge comes as a last-minute entry by Teague-Drydan:
At least half of the month needs to be fairy tale re-writes. Bonus if they aren't well known fairy tales.

Thank you, Teague-Drydan! Your points will arrive shortly. (And sorry to the no less than five of you who voted for the All-Star challenge: another time, maybe!) I BET YOU'RE HAPPY NOW, NO LESS THAN FIVE OF YOU

Because I was kind of on a ...roll (badum-tsh) and we have plenty of challenges to go around, we have a second, lower-priority winner: 4! An anonymous contributor slapped me with a glove and challenged me to write every single character queer. Which, you know, I can do, but doing it explicitly is harder. Will I be doing it anyway? Possibly! Since this isn't the actual winner-winner, I'm not going to do any acrobatic tricks to make it explicit (and I'm certainly not going to give it as much priority as the actual winner, not to mention the official FFM challenges), but we'll see how far I get in avoiding allocishet characters over the course of the month. Queered fairy tales, here we come.

On a completely different note, one of my stories from last year's FFM - Johannes and Margarethe - received a Daily Deviation a few days ago! It's still one of my favourites from 2017, and it does a good job of setting a fairy tale tone for this year. ;)


Johannes and MargaretheIt would be easy enough to flee. The only bond that ties Margarethe to the blind old woman is her love for her brother. But he is all she has left, now, and she will not leave him.
Johannes sits in a cage of bones, eating canned mandarins and jars of sour cherries, awaiting his death. Margarethe visits him there when the old woman is out. “I’ll save you,” she says. “I’ll find a way – somewhere we can flee to, somewhere she can’t follow. I’ll steal the key from her.” The cage is held together with steel cables and padlocks and barbed wire. There is no escaping from it.
“You know what she’s planning,” says Johannes, and Margarethe knows. Fresh meat is hard to come by. If they run, she will try to follow.
“Why is she waiting, do you think?”
“Fattening me up, probably. She keeps feeling my finger, seeing how thin it is.” He scoffs. “I always show her a bone – there are enough of them

There will be a chat event happening in CRLiterature on Saturday July 7th, from 10am-1pm PDT (19:00-22:00 CEST) (check your time zone here) to discuss June's Daily Deviations. Barring unforeseen circumstances, I'll be there to discuss!

And on that note, I hope you're all ready for FFM: it begins tomorrow. ;)
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Comments44
anonymous's avatar
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TheWarOfTheRing's avatar
TheWarOfTheRingStudent Writer
:la:

Good luck. You'll need it.
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
I certainly will. :XD: Thank you!
TheWarOfTheRing's avatar
TheWarOfTheRingStudent Writer
Welcome!
LadyBrookeCelebwen's avatar
LadyBrookeCelebwenHobbyist General Artist
Well, good luck! This should be interesting (and better you than me! ;p)
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
Thanks - I will need it. :XD: But yes, it is certain to be interesting.
joe-wright's avatar
joe-wright General Artist
*Rubs hands together with goblin-like glee*
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
You'll rue the day you came up with this challenge. Or I will. On contemplation, it's almost certainly going to be me doing the ruing.
DamonWakes's avatar
DamonWakesProfessional Writer
I still would have preferred exploding barnyard animals, but this is pretty amazing.

Can I convince you to blow up several barnyard animals in addition to the current THREE challenges?
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
...What the hell, I'll blow up a few barnyard animals. WHY NOT.

(Fortunately (for me) I've already written a story with no exploding barnyard animals, so there's no chance of you convincing me to blow one up every day.)
DamonWakes's avatar
DamonWakesProfessional Writer
You could still blow up a total of whatever arbitrarily large number I suggested on your blog, but I'll admit I sort of neglected to consider the knock-on effects of that many animals all in one place. I'm not certain that their combined gravity would cause them to collapse into some form of meaty dwarf planet, but some quick maths suggests that it's close enough that even if that didn't happen with an all-chicken barnyard, it might happen with an all-cattle one.
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
I actually had a plan for that one. It went: blow up an entire planet, with farm animals included.
DamonWakes's avatar
DamonWakesProfessional Writer
I approve of this plan, but you may need very small farm animals and/or a very large planet.
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
Or, perhaps, an entire solar system.
DamonWakes's avatar
DamonWakesProfessional Writer
Boom.
ilyilaice's avatar
Well this should be interesting. :lol:
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
If I die before the end of July, send the funeral bill to joe-wright. :XD:
Teague-Drydan's avatar
Teague-DrydanHobbyist Writer
Wow.  Thank you! (I know it's random, but still :D )

Good luck! Can't wait to see what you come up with.  Btw, did you hear about the 200+ fairy tales rediscovered in Germany a handful of years ago? They were collected by von Schonwerth. Very different from the tales we're familiar with from the Grimms' and Perrault.
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
I recall hearing about that! Do you happen to know if they're available online? :D
Teague-Drydan's avatar
Teague-DrydanHobbyist Writer
Some most likely are. I believe there are more available if you can read German. There's an English translation of a handful of the stories titled "The Turnip Princess" (it's a pretty good read: www.amazon.com/Turnip-Princess… ).

:excited: and I just discovered antoehr book of his tales!  Here: www.amazon.com/White-Milk-Red-…

Here's an online version of the "Turnip Princess" io9.gizmodo.com/read-a-story-f…

He has his own website, all in German of course, that may have more. I can't seem to locate it right now.
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
I happen to be able to read German, so I'll definitely look into his website. Thank you! :w00t:
Teague-Drydan's avatar
Teague-DrydanHobbyist Writer
lucky! I took a class on how to translate German to English, but all I really learned was that I can use Google translate really well & discerningly -.-
GDeyke's avatar
GDeyke Writer
Well, that's better than nothing. :XD:
Teague-Drydan's avatar
Teague-DrydanHobbyist Writer
true, that.
anonymous's avatar
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