An Open Letter to My Assailant
Good day to you, Sir or Madam. Let me begin by stating that due to my uncertainty of your true identity at this time, this message is being circulated through as many mediums as I can manage in an attempt for it to reach you. I have already submitted it to the personal sections in all of my local news papers, sent it to several local news outlets in hopes they will recite it on air, and posted it on several locations on the world wide web. I am also considering having this message printed onto the side of a large dirigible, or perhaps on a very long sheet to be pulled through the air by a bi-plane. If you are reading this message through any of these mediums then I oblige you for taking the time to read it.
Allow me to introduce myself: I am a man whom you recently attempted (and failed) to assassinate by putting a deadly poison in his coffee. I send this message not simply as a taunt by showing that I am still alive, but more as a critique on your approa