Snake Smacks His Bitches' Up*

Imagine all the Frogs putting on their make-up, mowing the lawn and a dash of napalm for perfume... in anticipation for the final battle with our old stud of a friend up there....

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Hi Mr. Snake. This is Foxhound. We would like to schedule an interview with you for the Chain Smoking Face Shooting Position you applied for....

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Dude takes a quick smoke nap. It's stressful work "railing" an endless stream of ladies... plus you know.... FUCKING OLD!!!

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Buzz... Ribbit... bzzzt... croak... zzzzz... bud.. weis... er... only kidding... or was I (protip: maybe)? Anyway, I step into the lion's den, inside the belly of the beast, inside the Tower of the Serpent, the outer sanctum, balls and helm's deep and I see more Frogs than at "Le Ugliest Snob Contest" or here in the US... "America's Next Snobby Bitch" (that's a unisex competition... no getting offended now).

The Frogs take it too me, it's too bad they bump their asses when they hop. My game-play has been described as geriatric... wrong haha, because Old Snake and Young Snake were standing on a hill one day.... below them was a legion of Frogs. Young Snake says "Hey Old Man let's run down and kill one of those Frogs..." Old Snake says, "no dude... let's walk down and kill them all.." ... plus my back is freaking killing me where is the goddamn compresses, my pack of smokes and the cigs rolled out of the compresses...?"

~the end

*We have a lot of fun here, but let this be a lesson to you. Never hit a woman... use a fucking rail gun.

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You know... I always wondered why the Frogs and the B&B's are all female. Maybe I'll stick around and figure it out for us (it's probably because women get it done after 9 months, but the B&B's has all kinds of PTSD and gay as 9/11 back stories). I'm sure it says so in the game, but ugh... woman lore... they'd need to make a dedicated skip button with turbo settings in that case... : P