M
literature

Mermaid Poem

FreshwaterMermaid's avatar
By FreshwaterMermaid   |   Watch
6 11 3K (1 Today)
Published: November 15, 2005
Mermaid
I look in the water and see,
Some one trapped but yet she is free,
To her, she cares not of her life in the sea,
But oh how I wish that she could be me!

To swim down under the glory below,
Enjoying God's creatures wherever I go,
Many fish swimmin' 'round,
Blue and yellow and brown
And one fish wears a golden crown!

She wishes desperately to walk on land;
If I could I would give her all my sun and sand,
In exchange for her life down under the deep,
In her wonderful world of the ocean she keeps.
© 2005 - 2020 FreshwaterMermaid
This is my only poem. lol
one of these days I'll write more. If I think they're good enough. lol :)
Comments11
anonymous's avatar
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SeeminglyDepressed91's avatar
SeeminglyDepressed91Hobbyist General Artist
seem*
SeeminglyDepressed91's avatar
SeeminglyDepressed91Hobbyist General Artist
it's beautiful. and i liek the picture, even though you can see the pool edge at the top. i like the last stanza the best and the rhyming is actualyl pretty good, though at times some words aeem forced [like "brown"] but overall it's a good poem. great job.
FreshwaterMermaid's avatar
FreshwaterMermaidHobbyist General Artist
Really thanks so much!!! yeah I dont't like the word brown in there.:giggle:
Glad you liked the picture too. hehe it was hard cropping the pool out of there completely. :)
Thanks so much!!!!:glomp:
SeeminglyDepressed91's avatar
SeeminglyDepressed91Hobbyist General Artist
you are very much welcome. i actually have quite a bit of an obsession with the ocean [and related myths ^-^] which i have subdied lately..the first poem i wrote that i actually like was about longing to live there, i have never submitted it anywhere or shown it to anyone though...
FreshwaterMermaid's avatar
FreshwaterMermaidHobbyist General Artist
Awh I bet it'd be good. ^_^ I've always loved the ocean and wanted to live IN IT not near it. hehe (if ya know wat I mean.:giggle: )
Although I'd have to be a mermaid in order for that to work.:nod: hehe
Thanks again. :)
SeeminglyDepressed91's avatar
SeeminglyDepressed91Hobbyist General Artist
hehe someone likes it. but it's just MK. if you want to see it, click here. im glad you convinced me to let it see some people.
SeeminglyDepressed91's avatar
SeeminglyDepressed91Hobbyist General Artist
yes, that's what i meant by "there" you know what...i'll submit it in my scraps first, and you can read it ^-^
FreshwaterMermaid's avatar
FreshwaterMermaidHobbyist General Artist
Good idea. ^_^
AbstractBalance's avatar
AbstractBalanceHobbyist General Artist
I really like it.. Very nice flow. The rhyming seems a little choppy but it works with the poem :clap:
FreshwaterMermaid's avatar
FreshwaterMermaidHobbyist General Artist
Yeah I never liked the rhythm but I couldn't think of anything else. :)
Thanks and I'm glad you like it. :) You're the first to post about it. :)
Thanks!
AbstractBalance's avatar
AbstractBalanceHobbyist General Artist
No problem, it's great :thumbsup:
anonymous's avatar
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