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You were the perfect girl,
molded for me,
and me alone,
but it seems as though,

I was blind,
and dumb,
and wasted it all
for just a little fun.

but little did I know
that you would know,
and that I'd break your heart,
and stain your soul.

We had our lives
all planned out,
we knew the names of our children,
we knew it should have lasted forever.

I had the perfect girl,
in this semi-perfect world,
and I threw it all away
for something I never even wanted.

You haven't spoken to me in years,
Only one time did I see your number,
and when I called you back,
I had nothing to say.

See the cracked and tear stained glass
of those beautiful pictures of us,
together, wanting nothing more than
to be together, forever.

I said it'd never be like this,
I'd never be like this,
I'd never do this,
to you.</b>
um, yeah,
this one is more personal than I usually get, but I was told to write about this after explaining it to the closest of friends.

I had this stock photo on my computer, I believe I got it from * angelcurls but if not then, well, note me if you know where it did come from.

Update: I seem to have found this photo from [link]
I did modify it a little.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsweetyvamp:
Sweetyvamp Featured By Owner May 13, 2010
that was beautiful :) I hope you're doing okay now :)
Reply
:icond3vi1iati0n:
d3vi1iati0n Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2006
I was blind,
and dumb,
and wasted it all
for just a little fun.
Reply
:iconjfmuni:
JFMuni Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2004
omg! 2 words...

amazingly beautiful
Reply
:iconfreakinout:
freakinout Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2004  Professional Photographer
glad you liked it.
Reply
:icondispositioned:
dispositioned Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2004
I can't believe that I never got to this sooner.

The emotion that has been poured into this is absolutely incredible. I enjoyed the way you emphasized certain words the way you did; it somehow gave it a little more pep.

This stanza was the one that I enjoyed most:

"See the cracked and tear stained glass
of those beautiful pictures of us,
together, wanting nothing more than
to be together, forever."


The entire stanza, especially the first two lines, gives an excellent source of imagery, and I enjoyed that. Excellent work, my friend.:)
Reply
:iconfreakinout:
freakinout Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2004  Professional Photographer
I can't believe you missed the rush on this one, it was a daily top fav for awhile there, nothing like getting more comments than you know what to do with on a piece.

glad you enjoyed this one, it was written with passion.
Reply
:iconnessachev06:
nessachev06 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2003  Student
*sniffles* reminds me of the guy i'm in love with..how he's so far away. emotion is a big deal in poetry, and you definitely have emotion. your poem just ripped my heart out. nice work:!:
Reply
:iconfreakinout:
freakinout Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2003  Professional Photographer
sorry I had to rip your heart out, but sometimes raw emotion does that. Glad you enjoyed it though.
Reply
:iconnessachev06:
nessachev06 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2003  Student
dude, NEVA apologize for a kickass poem
Reply
:iconsans-aurora:
sans-aurora Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2003
wow...despite all the other comments by people, i thought i had to give my own 2 cents, and they're pretty simple really...haunting...AWESOME...your best yet that i have seen, by far. if you do more stuff like this, then...well, i dont really know what then but its bound to be badass. keep it up.
Reply
:iconwhat-the:
what-the Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2003
thought this was an excellent poem, really captured your emotion, i hope i never do something like that as it would wreck your life. +fav
Reply
:iconfreakinout:
freakinout Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2003  Professional Photographer
thanks for the comment and fav, I hope you never do anything like that either, it is hell.
Reply
:iconbinhulrik:
BinhUlrik Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2003
i just went through shit like this.. thank you.. this poem is awesome..
Reply
:iconniminitzar:
niminitzar Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2003
well done, I read a comment that said this piece lacked imagery... this piece is not about imagery, its not meant to contain it... its meant to be felt in your heart not seen in your mind. We can all relate to this piece. At one time or the other we have all sabotaged our desires for some stupid reason or the other... this is the worst feeling because it comes with the awareness that it could have been helped. This poem allows us to remember that feeling and see the the darkness that comes with the pain. Very well done.
Reply
:iconnotrust:
notrust Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2003
This is amazing, and very beautiful and well-expresed ;) (Wink)
Reply
:icondreamcatcher20:
dreamcatcher20 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2003  Hobbyist General Artist
this is simply amazing. your pain goes through me as i read this. i don't know what else to say, but WOW.
Reply
:iconlivingbyair:
livingbyair Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2003  Hobbyist Writer
its repetative, and lacks imagry. makes up for some of that in good flow.

but anyway.

I had the perfect girl,
in this semi-perfect world,
^it really doesn't get much better than that.
Reply
:iconc-is-for-cunt:
c-is-for-cunt Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2003   Photographer
Reading this makes me wonder if this is how my ex felt... it sounds just like him..

this hurts to read.. its written so well tho... bravo.



Heart Kandice
Reply
:iconladyblack:
ladyblack Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2003
ohh, how beautiful
Reply
:iconladyr:
ladyr Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2003
...wow...so much emotion. Reading this it took my breath away I wanted to cry but...yea I try ot to let myself cry anymore. So powerful....it makes me fear that when I finally find 'my one' I'll lose him somehow... Beautiful poem.

(as to some of the comments I read...the spacing is fine and actually helps with things like flow and feel. Haha and Sillydru said there was not enough imagery...sometimes imagery is not always a good thing. If you needed more of anything you wouldnt have got a DTF...~_~')
Reply
:iconlollie:
lollie Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2003
this is a great poem...............i love it well written, no really well written :) (Smile) good on you. i have heard the side of the other so often but it was great to hear it from the other side. Congrats all round awesome poem!
Reply
:iconostara:
ostara Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2003
Heartwrenching, heartbreaking. I've heard those words from other lips, but in this I can see the other side of the pain.

Okay, sure, it's something that is thrown out every so often, but you did a great job with it. The end is riviting. At least to me.
Reply
:iconcluelessrockerchik:
cluelessrockerchik Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2003
All I have to say : wow
Ur stuff just kinda holds me in, I have to look at it all. +fav
Reply
:iconshowna:
showna Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2003  Professional Photographer
I was about to complain that much of what you put down has been said many times before, but the last few lines are a nice touch to the whole thing.

Who are you by the way? You left a comment on my page...
Reply
:iconfukenrights:
fukenrights Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2003   Writer
like my comment is gonna make any difference in your popularity...

this is strong... from the heart and it flows... all elements of a great poem...

it touces me... not many words can do that...

i feel fear that this is how my life will be... that all my hopes and dreams for a family and a future will be shattered... that i will lose the one i love and will never be able to fill the void my parents left me with...

i just... when i read this...

i cry

and if you dont mind i think i will frame this
Reply
:icondanx:
danx Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
Wow, a really nice poem.. I love how the writing is 'shaped,' as well as the nice solid end.. *thumbsup*
Reply
:iconyou-cant-see-me:
you-cant-see-me Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2003
Wow..this is so beautiful. its worded so well and just flows so nicely when read aloud..

You haven't spoken to me in years,
Only one time did I see your number,
and when I called you back,
I had nothing to say.

my favorite lines

I had the perfect girl,
in this semi-perfect world,


also my favorite

heck i love the entire poem.. +fave for sure its so lovely..
im striving to write poems as lovely as this.. with such emotion..
Reply
:iconnieman:
nieman Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2003
3rd time around and it still physically hurts to read.
Reply
:iconz-aw-l:
z-aw-l Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2003
Wow man another great poem, it's strong and touching...
There are so so many great lines in this one I especilly like this one

"I had the perfect girl,
in this semi-perfect world"


\\Z-aW-L
Reply
:icondes-demona:
des-demona Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2003
I've wanted to favourite this for some time, and now that I've finally registered (mwhaha) i can!! This poem flows beautifully, and I just love pattern poems :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconsaro-n-mizary:
saro-n-mizary Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2003
"I said it'd never be like this,
I'd never be like this,
I'd never do this,
to you."

This is gorgeous
I love how you never lost power in any of your words
And i love the form
It's much like the form i tend to use
Which is no form at all
i dont know what im saying
I just know this is greatly written
g/j
Rose for you
Reply
:iconartificialflower:
artificialflower Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
i usually dont come across poems but your words caught my attention, n i really like the stuff u wrote in this one, this is definitely the 1st poem i ever fave

keep it up, i like ur stuff
Reply
:iconmidorigin:
midorigin Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
i dont usually comment on deviations with so many comments already... but wow. cant think of any words to express my reaction to this; this is... well, let me just say plusfav - but i think it deserves a little more than that
Reply
:icondevilicious:
devilicious Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003  Professional Photographer
Hug
Reply
:iconv:
v Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
You've put it into words better than I ever could have. Great job.
Reply
:iconthetenutso:
thetenutso Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
i've been there before.....never could put it in words though. good job.
Reply
:iconscreamertree:
screamertree Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
I thoroughly enjoyed it , I think that in a way, everyone who's ever been in love can relate to it, and that's a hard thing to do. I had to restrain myself from crying, I will admit, I got a little teary *sniff* , but thats' ok. very nice, very nice.
Reply
:iconutro:
utro Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
Emotional heartbreak poems always seem to get the most attention of the Deviant audience. Nothing's wrong with that, and there's certainly nothing wrong with the subject; however, just because people relate to it, (as we all do) doesnt mean it's a well-written poem. It lacks terribly in imagery and it's cliche from start to finish. Why was it spaced this way? Why were some words bolded and some italicized? It seems random and purposeless. It's not, by far, the worst angst love poem I've read, but it's not by far the best either. Try harder to break the mold with your words and less with your aesthetics.
Reply
:iconplaguelord:
plaguelord Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
just awsome i can relate and this is wroten veary well .........
Reply
:iconsilverkitsune:
silverkitsune Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
You have no idea how hard this poem hit me... The emotion, the wording, even the timing! The formating is far different than any others I've seen, but that's not bad, and at times even adds a little something to the poem. That extra "oomph" if you will. The rhyming works well, not feeling forced at all. And the great thing is, you've chosen words that carry as much, if not more, power in places where there isn't a rhyme. I love the use of the phrase "Together, forever".

A definate favorite.
Reply
:iconaffirmation:
affirmation Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
Cool flow. It just capture everything - kinda cliche, but everything becomes cliched at some point.
Reply
:iconshatteredmirror:
shatteredmirror Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love this. It expresses so much of what I'm going through right now. I feel very close to this poem, though it is not mine. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

You said that this was more personal than you normally write; please write like this more!!!

+fav +fav
Reply
:icondream-hunter:
dream-hunter Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
What are you guys talking about? This poem is terrible! -shudder- Try some creative language, metaphors and analogies. You really need to freshen it up with some unique language. Your saying the same thing we've all read from every angst-ridden teen for the last 20 years. I mean, "...that I'd break your heart, and stain your soul" ? You need to try to say things like this in a way that no one has ever heard before. Good pic though.
Reply
:iconsubtronik:
subtronik Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
nice
Reply
:iconpiranha:
piranha Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
awesome Thumbs Up
Reply
:iconminea:
minea Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003   Photographer
Oh my... this poem is just...gorgeous. I reallyreally like it, although I'm not a huge fan of poems in general. I love the way you've described the feeling. So, this is gonna be the first poem that I'm gonna add to my favs. Awesome job!!
Reply
:iconangelcurls:
angelcurls Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
yes, its my picture and its not a stock, but its ok. i dont want you to change it, because it really fits. you didnt use it for an visual artwork, but for a poem and therefor i think you dont need my permission, because its an honour that maybe my piece has inspired you a bit to write this one.
i really like this, you did a great job here. very emotional and good presentation. :) (Smile)

ailine...
Reply
:iconritalin:
ritalin Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
fuck. you hit me. +fav

--

Brainless idiot! - Ritalin : too.open.for.your.mind

Point Right member of the european devART community.
Reply
:icondanceman:
danceman Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
if i didnt restrain myself id cry... damn... very very nice! ends up with my favourites.
Reply
:iconcrepuskul:
crepuskul Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2003
it's so ... right
it's so beautiful
it's so sad
it's so melancolik
it's so gorgeous
it's so...
i regret to not speack very well english (because i'm french)
.................
i can't tell you very well my feelings... so... good bye
(frsutration!)
maud
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