I have anxiety and fear of rejection. I often try "make up" for it by being outgoing, agreeable, "fun" to be around. Alternatively, isolating myself, and only then it being OK to do what I want to do.
It has taken two years being with my partner to slowly learn that it's OK to ask for and do what I want with others. It's been a journey, but knowing that there is someone who is willing to accept you even if you don't give them everything is just... It finally brings peace.
Also you spelled "independent" wrong, unless you wanted to make some kind of pun about gems not having to hang around their function anymore