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January 14, 2012
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A Butterfly Watches Light-And-Hope Feature - Volume II

:iconyesterdayswake:
YesterdaysWake Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
As promised.

thoughts 'n feelings that empty feeling keeps coming back

I feel... all used up..

I can't cut. I can't cut. I can't cut. I cant. I need to stay clean... for Sam, Rachel, cathy and chris...

It makes me happy to see the list growing..  

it started off cathy. Then came rachel, soon came Sammy, and now chris.

There are others, sure, but they really only halfheartedly care. They use my self harm as another excuse for THEM to be depressed and to prove how fucking "selfless" they are or how "unbearable" their life is. Well fuck them!.

even the people who truely care often take more then i offer to give. But then again, i let them. I continu
Is that supposed to be insulting? "Lesbian!"
   "Weird!"
      "Freak!"
         "Geek"
        
You say that like it's a bad thing
like it's something i should be ashamed of.
But why? Because I happen to fall in love with the same gender?
That my interests are out of the ordinary?
That I dye my hair wacky colors and wear clothes that don't fit your normal?
I see nothing wrong with that.
People really suck at insults.
I am not my illness.  I am not my illness.

Keira, 16

I've had depression for three years, and I used to hate the way my illness had changed me. I thought I could never be the girl I used to be. But my psychologist helped me to see that my illness can never change the inner me. In the end, I will have changed – I will be stronger for this battle – but my central values and the things that make me 'me' will always remain the same.

I am not my illness.

Mark, 23

I have schizophrenia. People call me crazy, and avoid me, because I hear voices and talk to them. Maybe I am crazy sometimes, when I have an episode. But I'm not always crazy.
Heart to Heart You have no idea
How much it tears me appart to see you torn appart
And to know that it's my fault makes it all the worse
You say you love me yet
Despite your mother forcing us appart
You say you regret it, letting others run your life
You're a most treasured friend
But i've moved on
I've found new love
And it makes me sick to my stomach to know that your heart is breaking
That I am the cause of your pain
You know me oh so well
My dear, sweet friend
So why can't you see past it all?
Why can't you see how much you mean to me?

Please hear me when i say..
I do love you
And i know you love me too
But sometimes love, and being
Tribulations of the Heart chapter 1 Gwen led me outside, where we could speak in private before she left... When she asked me to talk alone, i knew what was coming.. She took my hand and we sat down on the stairs in front of my house. She stroked my hand with her thumb

"Sylvan... I love you.. but my mom... she doesn't like us...and since she's letting me live with her.. and paying for my collage.." the brunet trailed off. To keep myself from crying, hyperventilating, or just falling appart i forced myself to become slightly numb.

I looked down at my hands, the one still enclosed by Gwen's "I understand..." was all i said. But what i really wanted to do was fling myself in
Unborn Child Sometimes it's not all about you!
Sometimes you have to face the fact that you're a big girl now
And own up to your mistakes
Unprotected sex = pregnancy
You're no newbie to sex
You knew just what could happen
He even tried to say no
He knew too.
but you coaxed him into it
And now you have the nerve to act as if your life is over
To constantly go on and on about how horrible things are for you
Yeah, you get morning sickness
Yeah, you're going to be exhausted.
But none of that matters
You wont have to deal long
You're killing it.
You're killing the body and soul growing inside of you
Even though your poor lover, that love stric
Utopia keep floating upon cityscapes
warm from the sun. as light as clouds.
under your feet is the path
that the rest journey on.

beneath the golden cobblestones
the heart of humanity still beats
tear them up from the ground
dried blood staining your fingers
dirt sprinkling the idyllic landscape

don't touch your head lest it invade your mind
clean, sanitize, cut off your hand,
or run away, (no reminders anymore).

rinse your feet in the cool crystalline waters
hurtling over cliffs to the paths below.
rest easy to the sound of the lapping shore-
water that rushes figures
pushing them to the edge, time and time again.

don't loo
First Aid there is no calm in this silence.
no sound, just an overwhelming reminder,
that you might not be coming back.
i do not own you,
no one does.
your spirit is not free but lost.
lost enough in your own head;
not to notice the location of your body.
out afloat in the lake.

they say that i could save you.
in between the meta physical crap and i fucked up,
a chance is hiding;
cold and unsure.
shivering on the shore line.
accompanied only by a dying flash light.
sending morse-code:
.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-/.. / .-.. --- ...-.

there is nothing more exciting than hearing you sing.
i
It's All We Want How easy it is to drown in self pity
To build upon problems until they seem like death
To look for attention and acceptance from others around us
But why bother weeping?
Why bother pleading?
Why bother over exaggerating?
Why bother bleeding?
It's not worth it.
Stop waiting and start searching.
You'll find what you're looking for
If not in someone else, then in yourself
Get off the floor, off the edge, off the darkest stage of personal hell
You're okay, you're different, you're you…

And that's all you should ever want
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Devious Comments

:iconsmilewithlove:
smilewithlove Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much for the feature <3
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:iconyesterdayswake:
YesterdaysWake Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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:iconmusiciswhoiam:
MusicIsWhoIAm Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
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:iconyesterdayswake:
YesterdaysWake Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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:iconophidianeyes:
Ophidianeyes Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012
Thank you very much for the feature.
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:iconyesterdayswake:
YesterdaysWake Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It was my pleasure. :heart:
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:iconvanpiercing:
VanPiercing Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
nice
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