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November 18, 2007
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Grendel's Mother

:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
should not be played by Angelina Jolie.

Can we not have ONE female monster who's not seductive? It's bad enough that Medusa is always teh seckz...wait, that's far worse, because I don't think Mama Grendel's appearance was really mentioned, but Medusa turned people to stone using hideousness. She WAS an attractive mortal, but was turned into a hideous monster as punishment.

It's also idiotic that most alien races seem to have exactly followed human evolutionary pathways, and are not just mammals but mammals with the oddly-placed and greatly enlarged human mammaries.

I can appreciate a pretty blue dancing girl, and the snakes-for-hair thing really does sound neat if you leave out the "petrifyingly hideous" part, but come on, enough is enough. They're gonna do Canterbury Tales and have the Wife of Bath played by Julie Andrews or something.
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Devious Comments

:iconstykera:
Stykera Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2007
:lock: by request.
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:iconrayne-gallows:
rayne-gallows Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2007
The movie was a fun popcorn flick. The action was fun, and that's all that really mattered. I would have like to see the She-Monster's true form though. From what brief glimpse there was of her face, she didn't look all that beautiful.
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:icondeutschschaferhund:
deutschschaferhund Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2007
Meh.
I actually that was a pretty cool role. ;P
And the movie itself was great... I just wish that Hollywood would stick to the original story. Just ONCE. That's all I ask.
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:iconmoongoddess12:
MoonGoddess12 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
OMG! SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME!! That entire movie look stupid. I mean, c'mon "I-AM-BEOWULF!!!" T-T
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:iconpiratecapnspazz:
PirateCapnSpazz Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I figured she wouldn't exactly be pretty because isn't she described as a Sea Hag? What part of hag is hot?! D: Damn, i need to actually read Beowulf.. >>
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:iconeclipsedarkmaster:
EclipseDarkmaster Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
Twi'lek Ftw
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:iconcaptaindannyofdakota:
She should've been played by YO MAMMA.
OUCH BURN!
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:icondoomsday-device:
Doomsday-Device Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Who cares? I was litterally 1 centimeter of drippy gold away from seeing Jolie's nips. And in 3D, no less. Those details matter not when CGI boobs are so seductive!
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:iconmiskatonika:
Miskatonika Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Does it matter that I think Angelina Jolie IS gross? She's so full of herself.

But, you're right. Grendel's mom was a real monster, they lived in a cave for god's sake, and liked to eat people, very messily.
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:iconm-tel:
M-tel Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
I think Angelina Jolie IS gross

Women usually aren't attractive to other women.
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:iconmiskatonika:
Miskatonika Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm attracted to several women, but not people like Jolie.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
Angelina Jolie used to be hot, but now she's all anorexic and has too many kids.
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:iconmiskatonika:
Miskatonika Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah I don't get the adopted children thing. My mom who follows celebrity gossip like crazy says that the only reason they go to Africa is to get plastic surgery done secretly.
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:iconrichten:
richten Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Medusa is just one of the Gorgons, so there might be a whole race of creatures with the power to turn others into stones (and that have some snake-like qualities). There are male and female Gorgons, and there are ugly and pretty people among them.

At least that is the way it is in the D&D world. But I think there they call the race "medusas", so that you don't confuse with the other gorgon monster (which is a bull that can turn humanoids into stone with his breath), never mind the fact that you can confuse it with the sea creatures.
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:iconameriagrae:
AmeriaGrae Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist General Artist
When I heard that there was a Beowulf movie coming out, I was all for it. I was thinking, "Oh! How neat. Another Beowulf movie. The tale was so epic." Then, I saw the preview. I was upset when they showed Jolie being Grendel's mother. Based on the story I read, I was under the impression that Grendel's mom was a terrible beast like her son. Not some hot, seductive succubus creature that would promote masturbation in movie theaters. :ohnoes:
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:iconninedsroyalflush:
nineDsroyalflush Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
I thought the Wife of Bath was an attractive female with a sexy smile.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
Not so much. She had microdontia.
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:iconmci021:
mci021 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
... but Beowulf demands hot adversaries.
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:iconaliska:
aliska Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
I was more disappointed with Grendel.

First of all, I read Beowulf in the 7th grade, and Grendel in my mind looks exactly the way he does on the cover. He's fat and green. Here's a visual. Doesn't look anything like the one in the movie.

Second, Crispin Glover's rendition of his vocals is just a reprise of what he did in Willard, slash Charlie's Angels. Way too distracting.

And finally, the whole movie just sucked, sucked, sucked :(
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
That has boobies. Are you sure it's not the mother?
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:iconaliska:
aliska Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2007
Pretty sure, as in the original poem the mother has four boobies.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2007
Oh, where's that line? I forgot it.
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:iconraerae:
raerae Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Professional General Artist
Due to geographical difficulties in travelling, city-states of Greece often had drastically different versions of certain myths. For instance, some say that the Gorgons were Phorcys and Ceto, or Typhon and Echidna. Sometimes they were born monsters, or were beautiful nymphs that were cursed. Sometimes I've heard that she was not ugly, for how could anyone tell if they turned to stone when they gazed upon her?

But anyway...look at Scylla from the Odyssey. She wasn't sexualized, even though she was supposed to be a beautiful woman with serpent heads behind her or something.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
No, she had dogs for a lower body. "Scylla" means "bitch", and that myth is also what Milton drew on for his depiction of Sin in Paradise Lost, as a beautiful woman with a snake-body that kept giving birth to dogs and had some serious vagina dentata.
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:iconraerae:
raerae Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Professional General Artist
Dog heads, bah. I dunno why I got that confused...probably because the Greeks love serpents in their mythology so.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
Some regions had her with snakes and dogs.
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:iconazarath:
azarath Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Waaaaaaaaaait. ANGELINA JOLIE, ARE YOU SERIOUS. What the hell, Hollywood. What the hell.

"They're gonna do Canterbury Tales and have the Wife of Bath played by Julie Andrews or something."

Buahaha! Don't say things like that, Hollywood might be listening. :XD:
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:iconbumsy:
Bumsy Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
Because obviously horny pre-teen boys don't want to fantatsize over some hideous, withered old hag! They want Angelina Jolie! The most overrated woman in Hollywood history!

Oh well, at least girls get to see Beowulf's wang flying all over the place in one of the fight scenes. At least that's what I heard.
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
What the hell?
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:iconiceisnice286:
IceIsNice286 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
But wasn't Grendel's mother just as ugly as he is? O_o...
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:iconnanna:
nanna Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007   General Artist
Now that's crazy talk, we can't let ugly females appear on film! We might lose the horny 13 year old boy audience, and we wouldn't want that.

Let's make a film about hot female zombies with huge tits!
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:iconshadowgamers:
ShadowGamers Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
I think they should re-do that whatever scene where Angie is leaking gold off of her tits and slap on a gigantic fish head where her head used to be. That would at least explain how Grendel became the bastard retard child of Hopkins :V
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:iconwolfyu:
Wolfyu Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
Aww, I came to DA to escape writing my Wife of Bath essay, and you mentioned it. My plan is ruined! D:

I've yet to see the movie, but I've heard quite a few horror stories from people who liked the poem Beowulf. :c
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:iconinvertabrae:
Invertabrae Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
If they manage to make Charybdis attractive, I have no hope for Hollywood.
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:iconxyeothiemoon:
xyeothiemoon Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007  Professional Traditional Artist
yeah, they did describe her in the original tale... she's hideous as sin.
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:iconavarwen:
avarwen Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
I can see the beauty factor working for action, romantic and even drama titles. But in some myths the chracter is ugly for a reason. But when you deal with the modern morons you have to change it so they can like it. This means that just about all human like characters have to be pretty. Sadly if this affects the story in some way it will be ignored. This is why I like to read the book instead of watch the movie becaue it keeps the work more true to itself.
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:iconmasaothedog:
masaothedog Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007   Artist
I didn't even see the damn movie and that pisses me off. She was supposed to be horrifying, not tantalizing. I mean, I appreciate sex appeal in its place. A lot. But that makes me take the whole movie that much less seriously. It's cliche. It's come to be expected.
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:iconadigitalartist:
ADigitalArtist Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Spoilers:

In addition to the Hollywood clichés it had some real weird strays from the poem. Like... making the dragon which killed Beowulf be the son of Grendel's mother and Beowulf...Huh?
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:iconmasaothedog:
masaothedog Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007   Artist
Okay, from the perspective of the poem, that sounds really disturbing. I'm just imagining Beowulf getting down with some monstrous she-thing...

I have a question. Was the movie as ridiculous as it looked?
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:iconadigitalartist:
ADigitalArtist Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Pretty much. It wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen. But you have to go into it acknowledging that it'll be very different from the story. (Granted, I don't have too much a problem with that considering we don't even know what the original Beowulf story was, what with intentional and unintentional translation errors by the first people to make it a written story and by the Christians who wanted to change the subtext.)
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:iconmasaothedog:
masaothedog Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007   Artist
We got to read it in Old English because my teacher happened to know how to speak itO.O. I mean, she had to translate it for us line by line, but still! I know what you mean, though. Yeah, always trying to change the subtext.

I guess what I mean by my question... Was it like 300? Trying to be cool, but just ending up funny and humorous?
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:iconadigitalartist:
ADigitalArtist Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It had some of those elements, yeah. Including the overuse of a yelled "I AM BEOWULF!!!!!" which had me giggling.
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:iconmasaothedog:
masaothedog Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007   Artist
Seriously? That happened more than once? Did it really need to? XDOh lawd, I'll have to watch it when it comes on On Demand.
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:iconthetifftiff:
thetifftiff Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
Because sex sells? Duh?

It's unfortunate that sex selling things means that they always have to use that tactic though. :hmm:
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:iconsnoopyfemme:
snoopyfemme Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007  Student Writer
This is America. Violence should sell better than sex. And it does, but there's usually sex thrown in there, and it just feels really embarrassing.
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:iconadigitalartist:
ADigitalArtist Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
For some reason I am reminded of Enemy at the Gates. A war movie with the most awkward sex scene ever.
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:iconsnoopyfemme:
snoopyfemme Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Student Writer
All sex scenes in war movies WILL be incredibly awkward. Sure, the director's tried his best to make it as hot and steamy as possible, but that's precisely what makes it awkward.
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:iconpvtserrano:
PvtSerrano Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007
"hot and steamy"

Ironically it happens to be set in the Russian winter.
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:iconadigitalartist:
ADigitalArtist Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It really emphasized the awkwardness in Enemy at the Gates. Because they were having it in a barrack floor surrounded by other sleeping soldiers. :giggle:
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:iconmngamojemo:
mngamojemo Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2007
Isn't it? Cripes.
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