End of the Tunnel

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Countless tears and sleepless nights
Lingering words and internal fights

Those who want to stay and hold my hand
Those who don’t even try to understand

The sound of music that’s no longer calming
The pain of the words and the darkness of the drawings

The hell of the future and the bliss of the past
The hope that it will all go by really fast

The tears and the sorrows of life day to day
The smiles and laughs put on default to play

Those you love that leave you and the ones that won’t leave
The ones that give you a shoulder to lean on when you need to grieve

The harsh distant past that makes it hard to sleep
The images of everything that makes you go weak

But don’t give up now; try to keep on going
There’s an end to the tunnel; the light won’t stop glowing
Eh, I suck with titles
and as for my poetry raid, this one was the first one I wrote out of three. I've only really written poetry one other time, so I don't know how good I am at it. I find it really fun, though.

I appreciate all comments and favorites! And any and all advice (constructive criticism not bashing) is also appreciated!
© 2015 - 2021 ForeverWaitingforYou
anonymous's avatar
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CrazyMai's avatar
Beautiful poem and it is really good for your first one :) ♥ You could maybe one the flow of your poem. It is already good but I think you will get used to write poem if you practice it. 
ForeverWaitingforYou's avatar
Yeah, I'm trying to work on that c:
Thank you for the comment~ :aww:
CrazyMai's avatar
You are welcome :) 
Symblystic's avatar
You don't suck with title first of all, its a perfect title for the piece. I really like this! The only thing I think you can improve on is the flow. Its not bad, even I have my moments with poor flow Sweating a little...  The trick is since this is a rhyming poem, have somebody else read it. The only way I can explain it is they should read the rhymes with a sort of rhythm. Don't worry about flow so much though, getting it right can be hard to master! You are a great poet and if anybody tells you otherwise, take it as further inspiration to keep writing! :) (Smile) 
ForeverWaitingforYou's avatar
Oh- well thank you~ I've never really been good with titles
And I know, I really struggle with the flow.. it's just really hard sometimes ><
And I would have someone else read it, yet I have no one to do that for me ^^; I'm really shy about my poetry cause I used to just write it when I was in deep emotional thought and then delete it after finishing.
And thank you so much for the advice! :aww:
Symblystic's avatar
Hehe, I don't blame you! I have trouble presenting my works to other people as well. What makes poetry what it is is the emotion you put into it. Don't worry about the flow so much, but rather the feelings and thoughts you pour into your writing! Flow is just something that will come naturally! Seriously don't worry about it, you're doing just fine! You have my support! :D (Big Grin) 
ForeverWaitingforYou's avatar
Yeah, if there's no emotion, then its just dry o:
Thank you again for the advice, though :aww:
And thanks for the Deviantwatch~!
anonymous's avatar
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