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So, I'm back, in a way. Time to take some rest and look around.

To sum it up in a nutshell: 4 years ago I escaped from home. I got fed up with all the non-existent possibilites what Hungary has had to offer to me. No job, no friends, no life. I've spent 20 years in a small village, behind God's back and I was exactly on the right way to either go mad or to kill myself.

I took a deep breath, I escaped from home, quite literally, borrowing 50€ from a friend and leaving for Milano. There I got a job as a nanny. Spent there 5 weeks, then I re-located to Bolzano, South Tyrol. 

The first time I set my foot in South Tyrol, I felt at home. 

After some time, I thought I'd try my luck in Austria (my brother moved there some months after I left Hungary) Austria didn't work. I have to thank to Cambion-Art for his gracious help for he came to visit me and helped me to keep my sane mind. In short, I left Austria after 2 months and managed to get back to South Tyrol where I've been residing ever since. I'm not leaving this place ever again. 

In those 4 years I went through a lot, there were bad times, good times. I've grown. I got jobs, friends, a little flat on my own, I discovered who I am and what I want from this life. Mountain hiking became my passion and I've grown to love ice-hockey. I've learned the Italian language, so by this time I speak 4 languages: my native Hungarian, English, German and Italian. Being a polyglot has changed plenty of things for me. My horizons have broadened. I've learned a few musical instruments to play (harp, guitar)

In short, I've managed more in the past 4 years than in the previous 3 decades.

Somehow I feel now that those 3 decades where only a dark, muddy shadow of a real life what could had been. I never really lived, never really had interpersonal contacts. The book of my life contained empty pages with additional sketches.

Now I've begun to fill those chapters. 

Can't really tell what has droven me back to dA. I think it was the fact that upon visiting my parents in Hungary, I came across my old paintings, and I realized - quite in a shock -, that some of those I've gifted to a precious person and I forgot to send them back to him. Then I remembered dA so I thought I'd check back. Who knows, I might upload some new art again.

So. I'd like to say a thank you to all those wonderful persons who have helped me in the 3 decades and who I've (quite ungratefully) abandoned in those last years. Guys, you never were forgotten. But I had to find myself. 

Thank you once more, dear horai. Dear maryfenja .

And the biggest thank you and my heart goes out to you, to the one who for several years held the place being a best friend for me. 

I don't think I ever, ever have shown to you how much I appreciated you.

Thank you, Cambion-Art.
  • Listening to: Private Line - Live, Learn and Grow Apart
An interesting article I've found here:

www.geocities.com/capecanavera…
  • Listening to: Enya - China roses
Leap Castle, Co. Offaly
While there are literally dozens of haunted houses and castles in Ireland, we've saved the best for last - Leap Castle, once owned by the O'Carrolls.

According to the stories, it was built on a Druidic site. When the O'Carrolls came here they had a nasty habit of murdering people and dropping the mortal remains down a hole in the wall - an oubliette - where they promptly forgot about them. One O'Carroll chieftain murdered his own brother, a priest, for starting Mass too promptly. Hence, the top floor of the castle is called the Bloody Chapel. It was, however, lower down in the castle that "It" was seen - an elemental force of evil with the head of a sheep and the stench of death.

Herewith, a first person account of a visit to Leap:
"Burnt out during the 1920s, Leap's looks lived up to its reputation. Narrow Gothic windows, ivy covered towers, bats and a barn owl, it was like a set from a Vincent Price movie. We crept in through the gaping doorway. Our flashlights revealed a huge hole in the stone floored front hall and we gingerly made our way around the edge, heading for the spiral staircase. No ghost would make us nervous - we were the Dublin Ghost Busters! Despite our confidence, we found ourselves talking in whispers. A slight sound behind me and I spun like a ballerina to see the cause. But as I spun around. I slipped and then dropped through the hole in the floor. The flashlight hit a rock and went out. Just above me, just out of reach, I could see the jagged outline of the floor. I could hear friends coming to help me. And then, in the darkness, I could hear a sniffling snorkly sort of noise. There was a smell, too. A horrid, rotten smell. I am not athletic, but that night, terror put rockets into my heels. I shot upwards. Scrabbling madly I made the doorway and did not stop running till I was safely in the car. That was nearly twenty years ago. Since then various psychics have attempted to purge the place. Priests have said masses there, a medium has planted a special tree there. The last time that I visited it, the castle was being restored and much of the evil atmosphere had gone. Only that small, windowless room underneath the castle still had that sinister feel."

That small, windowless room was the final resting place for scores of victims who were intially locked in a hidden dungeon off the Bloody Chapel. This room had a drop floor and prisoners were pushed into the room where they fell to their deaths - either impaled on a spike below, or if they were unfortunate enough to miss the spike and die a quick death, , they slowly starved in the midst of rotting, putrid corpses.

Around c.1900, workmen who were hired to clean out the windowless room discovered hundreds of human skeletons piled on top of each other. It took three full cart loads to remove all of the bones and one theory is that some of the remains were those of Scots mercenaries hired by O'Carroll who had them murdered when it came time for payment. Mysteriously, among the bones, workmen also found a pocket watch made in the 1840's. Could the dungeon still have been in use back then? No-one will ever know.

Shortly after the gruesome discovery in the dungeon, playful dabbling in the occult may have caused the re-emergence of the evil spirits. In 1659, ownership of Leap Castle passed in marriage from the O'Carroll family to an English family, the Darbys. The Darby family turned Leap into their family home, with improvements and additions and landscaped gardens. In the late 19th century, descendants Jonathan and Mildred Darby, were looking forward to raising their family here. The occult was the fashion of the day, and Mildred Darby did some innocent dabbling, despite the castle's history and reputation for being haunted.

In 1909, she wrote an article for the Journal Occult Review, describing her terrifying ordeal. "I was standing in the Gallery looking down at the main floor, when I felt somebody put a hand on my shoulder. The thing was about the size of a sheep. Thin, gaunt, shadowy..., it's face was human, to be more accurate... inhuman. It's lust in its eyes, which seemed half decomposed in black cavities, stared into mine. The horrible smell one hundred times intensified came up into my face, giving me a deadly nausea. It was the smell of a decomposing corpse."

The spirit is thought to be a primitive ghost that attaches itself to a particular place. It is often malevolent, terrifying and unpredictable. The Darbys remained at Leap until 1922. Being the home of an English family, it became the target of the Irish struggle for independence. Destroyed by bombs and completely looted, nothing but a burned out shell remained. The Darby's were driven out.

Totally gutted, Leap Castle was boarded up and its gates were pad locked for over 70 years. Locals have described seeing the windows at the top of the castle "light up for a few seconds as if many candles were brought into the room" late at night.

The castle lay in ruin for decades. But then, in the 1970's, it was purchased by an Australian, who had a white witch brought in from Mexico to exorcise the castle. She spent many hours in the Bloody Chapel and when she emerged, she explained that the spirits at Leap Castle were no longer malevolent, but they wished to remain.

In the 1990's, the castle was sold to the current owners. They are aware of the castle's troubled history. Shortly after moving in, they began restoration of the castle. However, a "freak accident" left the owner with a broken kneecap which delayed restoration work on the castle for nearly a year. One year after his "accident", the owner was back at work when the ladder he was standing on suddenly tilted backwards away from the wall causing him to jump to the ground. The result was a broken ankle and more delays with the restoration. The owners say they would be happy to share the castle with the spirits as long as there are no more "occurrences".

Recently, the christening of the owner's baby daughter took place in the Bloody Chapel. For the first time in centuries, the castle was filled with music, dancing, laughter, and most of all love. To quote those in attendance, it was a "happy, pleasant, wonderful day".

Have the troubled spirits of Leap Castle finally found peace? Assuming they haven't left, one can only hope they have.
  • Listening to: Enya - China roses

Jewellery

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 2, 2007, 11:00 AM


What can I do. I am a sucker for jewellery :blush:

These are the ones I would like to buy :)









Yes, butterflies are my soft spot. The most enchanting and most beautiful creatures on earth.

BTW.. the lilac and hreen neckalces and earrings have arrived more than a week ago and they are even more beautiful than on the photos :) I will try to make photos about them, I just will need good light :)





Member of :iconhungaromania:
You go now and watch this video. I want to know your opinions.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=70IHIr…

Porn and heat

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 16, 2007, 6:31 AM




Porn and heat

I really don't know what's good in porn. I downloaded one (a hetero version if you must know :P) and I just don't understand what's good in it when they began to have sex and then after 5 minutes they change position.

Anyway, this heat is killing me. Cannot go outside, cannot do anything but sit in my room and talk silliness. Eat, sleep, listen to music, build doom levels, and sit around. Damn...

New layout

Journal Entry: Thu Jul 12, 2007, 9:42 AM




New layout


Lovely new layout found by Wyrdling

I bought 6 DVD-s recentlly, so I now have a lots of films to watch =D

1. White Noise
2. The Dark
3. Darkness
4. K-Pax
5. Saint Ange
6. Hangman's curse

I suggest to you to watch K-Pax - if you have the possibility, watch it. I have seen it on the TV years ago. It's a "must see" movie, with wonderful music, awesome actors, wonderful plot.

I had been mad about White Noise - now I finally have it =D SUprirsingly good - I've read only bad critics about it. I think that's mainly because people don't know this phenomenon. It exists (I also have tried to make E.V.P-s) and it can be pretty creepy ;)

The Dark was also good but too short and they could have worked more on the plot. I had to visi imdb discussion boards to figure out what the movie was about and how it ended.

Darkness is about a house, that's always a good plot, having haunted houses. Think about Rose Red (if one day I will see Rose Red in the format of a DVD I will buy it, price won't matter), think about Amityville, etc. Could have been better but still it's a watchable movie.

Hangman's curse is a comfortable, good "family movie" with some secrets, humour, I liked it. Not a best-best thriller but it also wasn't meant to be one.

Saint Ange was shocking and it became one of my favourite movie's instantly. If you want to know more, then ask.

Now I need only those movies:

Rose Red
Dark Water
The Forgotten

I have seen all the 3 of them, but I yearn to watch them again and again.

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Fri Jul 6, 2007, 2:18 AM
</sub>

Amrita Sher-Gil



Amrita Sher-Gil:



(30 January 1913, Budapest, Hungary – 5 December 1941, Lahore), was an eminent Indian painter, sometimes known as India's Frida Kahlo. She was daughter of Umrao Singh Sher-Gil Majithia, a Sikh aristocrat and also a scholar in Sanskrit, and Marie Antoinette Gottesmann, a Hungarian, who was a singer. Sher-Gil was the elder of two daughters born to Umrao Singh and Marie Antoinette. Her younger sister was Indira Sundaram (née Sher-Gil), mother of famous contemporary artist Vivan Sundaram.

Hill Scene



She was trained as a painter in Italy and Paris, at the École des Beaux-Arts and drew inspiration from European painters such as Paul Cézanne and Paul Gauguin, while coming under the influence of her teacher Lucien Simon and the company of artist friends and lovers like Boris Tazlitsky. Her early paintings display a significant influence of the Western modes of painting, especially as being practised in the Bohemian circles of Paris in the early 1930s. Sher-Gil returned to India in 1934 and began a rediscovery of the traditions of Indian art which was to continue till her death. She was greatly impressed and influenced by the schools of Mughal miniatures and the Ajanta paintings. She toured South India and produced the famous South Indian trilogy paintings, that reveal her passionate sense of colour and an equally passionate empathy for her Indian subjects, who are often depicted in their poverty and despair. Her work also shows an engagement with the works of Hungarian painters in the interwar years, especially the Nagybanya school of painting.

Elephants:



Sher-Gil married her Hungarian first cousin, Dr. Victor Egan in 1938, and moved with him to India, to stay at her paternal family's home in Saraya, Gorakhpur,Uttar Pradesh. The couple later moved to Lahore then in undivided India, and a major cultural and artistic centre. She lived and painted at 23 Ganga Ram Mansions, The Mall, Lahore, where her studio was reported to be on the top floor of the townhouse she inhabited. She was also famous for her many affairs with both women and men. Sher-Gil died in 1941, but the real reason for death has never been ascertained, something expected in view of the overly sensationalised accounts of Amrita's life in the words of her contemporaries. A failed abortion and peritonitis have been suggested as the possible causes.

The Bride's Toilet



The Government of India has declared her works as National Art Treasures, and most of them are housed in the National Gallery of Modern Art in New Delhi.

Amrita



(Source: Wikipedia)

Credits
CSS BASED ON THE WORK OF buffydoesbroadcast




horai asked me to tell some dreams of mine. So here is one:

In my dream I saw a little boy, he was 11-12. He often went to the hill where an old cleric was living, next to an old church. They always had had good time together*. They spoke about the world, about people. They were close friends.

The cleric had a garden, full of apple-trees. All trees were unique. The cleric took great care of them. All trees produces different apples. One of them had tiny, dark-red apples, which were sweet as honey. Another one had big, light-green apples which were crispy and juicy. Those apples were famous and wide-known. Everyone took pleasure in watching them and eating apples.

The little boy's favourite apples were the tiny, dark-red ones. One day he saw a hole and asked the cleric 'Why is that hole here and why are stones beside it?'

The cleric has answered, 'I'll plan to set a new apple-tree. I will need all your help. The stones are there to support the new apple tree. Will you help me?'

'Of course', was the little boy's response.

But when next day he went to the hill to visit the cleric and to help him to set the new apple tree, he saw detectives there. He went nearer, wondering, where his old friend was. One of the detectives saw him and said 'Thanks God. He is alive'

The boy didn't understand this. He ran at home and told everything to his parents. His parents were in the middle of the street, along with the villagers. They all knew that someone was happening on the hill, and someone even said that the cleric was arrested. All of them went to the hill. What they saw there, shocked them.

The detectives were digging big holes under the trees and discovered skeletons there. Under every apple tree there was a skeleton buried - long lost children who vanished years ago from the nearby villages. The cleric befirended them all, lured them into his garden, killed them and planted apple trees on their graves. Under the apple tree which produced the green and crisp apples, there was a little girl buried. The hole, in which the cleric wanted to set a new apple tree, was prepared for the little boy.



And this was just an usual dream. They used to be more horrible.

-----------------------------

*asterisk was for Cru again. They had GOOD time together but NOT THAT KIND of good time. You perv ;P


---------------

"To be there or not to be?" I think I'll be there. It will be fun to see my old comrades again and my old teachers.

I loved my high-school-class. They gave me the nickname "Water beetle" and even teachers called me by that name. *

Our class was the first class who were Roman Catholic. Nonetheless we could swear like troopers. :blushes:  Some of us were deeply religious, other were more secular but this never caused any problems among us. We accepted each other. On outings we often seeked for a playground and we acted like children :XD: I still remember when once we found a lake and all of us ran into it, fully clothed =D As for me, I chased the swans. Another one was swimming to the middle of the lake until police came and told to us to leave the water 'cause they had to find someone who drowned in the lake 3 days ago... :crazy: I remember those events when teachers sorted us: girlz will go to rooms on left side, boyz to rooms on right side. Of course, sleeping among strange environments perplexes people, so no wonder that the morning sun found some girls in the boys' room and vice versa. :innocent: :XD:

It will be good to see them again. It will be also strange 'cause some of them have family, children but if I look upon them, I still will see all those young girls and boys who were like my siblings. My tiresome 31 siblings :)

------------------

* Cru, if from now on you'll call me 'water duda' or 'duda beetle' or something like this, I'll travel to Warsaw personally just to give you a good spank. :evillaugh:
After 6 days all the five of us are "hochdeutsch" In my case its no wonder because I speak German perfectly and it helped me in lots of situations. Still I am very tired and I just had an idiotic dream so I still need a little time to get to myself again :) but until then I begin to write what has happened to us in the last 6 days.

First of all, the taxi promised to be here at 4 am. It arrived at 3.30 - thankfully I was ready, all my package and everything. The driver and my boss said both that I still had time so if I needed anything just slowly. But I was ready so we could start. I was the first one whom they collected - after it we collected the other 3 girls. Two of them were 18 years old, the 3d one was a 49 years old woman.

We collected only the first girl when I felt that I badly needed to p... Thankfully we stopped by a filling station and I could go to the toilette. But then after 15 minutes I felt that I would need to go again! I didn't say any word but then we collected the other two womens and I felt like I was going to explode. We had to stop by a filling station again :giggle: Then again :lmao: Then in Wien I had to go again :rofl: I was marking like a dog :blush: Thankfully not I was the only one =D I think we all were nervous a little bit.

(I would need a very-very good wordbook to translate all the adventures but I haven't got one so forgive me if you don't understand something)

Our boss bought the flight-tickets and we put our baggages onto a conveyor belt. In the next minute the baggages vanished - thanks God, they were too heavy. Outside it was dark and rainy - a bad weather.

When I went through the safety gate, it beeped. A security lady came to me and asked if I had any metal on myself. I showed her my hand (its stuffed with metals), she said ok and then she searched me but she did it intelligently if you understand what I mean to say.

A bus brought us to the plane. The plane was a small plane, with places for 50 people. Well, for me it WAS small, because all the planes I've ever seen in TV, were as big as whales. =D This one was like a lovely mouse. It began to roll, like any car does and I was laughing - "Children we will travel like this to Stuttgart" One of the girls was sweaty with fear. I told her to hold my hands and I was laughing in myself - me, the panick-ill girl, I was taking care of a "normal" girl.

Suddenly our little mouse stopped. What the heck? Any trouble?

No, not at all. The plane begin to spin up its motors like a little, angry mouse, and it was so loud! =D Then we began to roll again - but this time so fast that it pressed us into our seats. Man, it was heavenly! I always have liked speed and this WAS speed!

Then we left Mother Earth. The plane was flying up high for a while (head up, bottom down), then we flew straight. I was enjoying every minute of it but then the plane was listing, like this:  . Maaaan.

The sky became curved - and the sun rised!!! We were above the clouds and the sun was everywhere!! I saw the clouds being brilliantly white and we were enjoying the sight like little children. I think that the other travellers were fed up with us =D but who cared? :evillaugh: We were flying above the Alps, I saw lakes, mountains, clouds,streams, forests - I saw the world.

We arrived to Stuttgart one hour later. The mouse-plane made some \ -s and some ////-s while landing, and sometimes little air-turbulences caused my stomach to visit my brain  but all in all it was a pleasure.

In Stuttgart we searched our rented car. Our jaw dropped when we saw that it was an Alfa Romeo Man. F..ing hungarian peasants in such a noble car! It had a monitor and lots of buttons. Wow.

Noble car caused us some troubles. First of all, even our boss - who was used to such travels, planes and rented cars - couldn't open the carrier rack. We were stading there with our packages and didn't know what to do =D Then our little Elf-workmate (she was as tiny and as fragile like a Christmas Elf - and we were making fun of her all the time, poor Charlotte =D) pushed over the backseats so we could pack our baggages into the carrier rack. When all the baggages were in, our boss finally found out, how to open it :rofl:

We sat in, boss started the car and a soft female voice greeted us. The navigation system was a pain in the a... so I grabbed the map and I navigated all the time. I can read maps very well.

Two hours later we arrived into Seelbach. That's a little town near to France and Switzerland.

www.seelbach-online.de/index.h… --> Seelbach's site on the web

www.ochsen-seelbach.de/ochsen_… ---> this was our "home"

It was afternoon when we have arrived so no work at that day =D of course. We went into our rooms - and our jaw dropped again. (At the end of the week we managed to keep our jaws to ourselves but miracles happened every day :heart:)

My room was the tiniest - and it had 3 beds. We all had more beds :lmao: with bathrooms. My bathroom was very tiny but it was MINE and I loved my room :)

The forests, the hills, the mountains, the air - everything was perfect and I loved every minute of it.

To Be Continued... =D

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Jetzt habe ich Zeit um meine Tagebuch weiter zu schreiben. Entschuldigt mir bitte, daß ich manchmal auch auf Deutsch schreibe, aber wie ich schon gesagt habe, nach 6 Tagen sind wir jetzt alle "hochdeutsch" :evillaugh:

And for those who couldn't understand those sentences, ask Crudity to translate them for you :P whacky old badger. :hug:

So I finished the tale by our arriving.

We went to take a walk in the town. There were some big festivities and the crowd was horrible. We found a little restaurant and we ate "döner" it is like gyros but much bigger =D It was heavenly. Then we went back to our house and we slept peacefully until next day 6 am.

At 7 am we went to eat breakfast in the main house. It was a... buffet or how to say that. You know: you grab a plate, you place lots of good on it and you go to the table to consume them. On the first day we were very shy (really, kids, we are only little Hungarian workers and we're not used to pensions, planes, Alfa Romeos and breakfast in the pension.) But after some day we "learned" how to behave =D and we enjoyed our meals every morning.

Then we went to work.

Children. I love my workplace and I love the whiteness and sterility of it. We work precisely. Everything has a place and we know our rules.

So... this factory shocked us. It was everything but tidy and nice. So much about it - I didn't like to work there.

The daily routine was: waking up, eating breakfast, going to work and then we went somewhere.

On Sunday evening (we weren't working on the arrival's day) there were festivities in Seelbach. As I said, we ate "döner", then we went to a hill in the forest. There was a big fence and beyond the fence there were deers! They didn't run away - of course we couldn't go nearer to them because of the fence, but I've never seen so many deers together, grazing so peacefully.

On Monday evening we went to a nearby town, called Lahr. We went into a supermarket and bought some things - mainly juices -, then we ate in a restaurant. It was heavenly. We had lots of fun, the meal was enjoyable, and after it I slept like a little child. And from this evening on we simply called our car "Romeo" as if it were a person. He brought us everywhere we wished to.

Tuesday evening we spent again in Lahr. Our boss bought himself a music CD - which Romeo swallowed :giggle: and didn't give back. One of the girls bought herself lovely (and compared to our prices in Hungary cheap) boots, and I was just wandering around from shop to shop.

Wednesday evening belonged to the forest. Usually we finished working at 3.30 pm and then we left the factory to go somewhere. On this evening we didn't want to go to shops or towns, we only wanted to go to the nature. So we went up to the forests - and I was running around like a dog, the air was so fresh, the green colours were green. We even discovered a little chapel.

When we got back to our house, we gathered into the biggest room and had many fun. I was already in pajamas, and there was a towel on my wet hair and everyone was laughing at me, because I looked really funny.

Thursday evening we went to a restaurant in Seelbach. The owner looked like a grizzly bear: he was big and had deep voice. His meals however, were fine. And after it... you would never guess... we went to...

BOWLING!

Yeah, exactly, we went bowling. There were two mini-bowling alleys under the main house of our pension. I would have never thought that it could be so much fun! Of course we made many mistakes, we laughed a lot. We ordered beer (we ordered 0,25 l, and the tiniest girl of us ordered 0,5 l) When the waitress has arrived with the beers and asked who wanted the "big" beer, she almost dropped them when I told her "It belongs to the little one" :rofl:

On Friday we worked until 11.30 am, then we got into Romeo and we left Seelbach *sniff* It sent us off with a lovely, sunny day and many good musics on the radio. When we have arrived in Stuttgart, we waved good-bye to our Romeo who really has grown to our heart *sniff-sniff* The plane started at 17.45 (................... -> there is an essay here which I cannot write ;)) and an hour later we landed in Wien. My dogs greeted me happily, Kitty was literally whining from joy, so I allowed her to dwell in my room for some time.

I will never forget Seelbach, I won't forget the forests, the sun, the lovely German people. This will be a sweet memory which I will keep in my heart forever.
A NOTE FROM ME TO DORI HARTLEY:

Dear Dori

You probably noticed that I've removed you from my watch list. I did it for the following reasons:

The questionnaire on *CrystallineEssence's journal, was not „stolen" from Dimitri. She saw it on my page, put it on her own journal and credited ME. And I credited Dimitri, so you don't have to worry about any stealing. Anyway, here is a little conversation between me and Dimitri about this questionnaire:

forest-dream.deviantart.com/jo…

The other thing is, that I think Dimitri can speak for himself. He may be ill, but as you told me once, he is strong in soul. If you want to protect his rights, then note him about any supposed stealing and I am sure that he will stand his ground if he wants so.

My respectful request to you is, to leave my beloveds alone. CrystallineEssence is a good friend of mine. I don't mind if you comment on her art, neither can I forbid it. But please, don't bug her on her journal entries.

Please think after the things you do and you write. I respect that you want to protect him but I think you are smart enough to be reasonable.

G.

DORI HARTLEY'S RESPONSE:

Ohhey I am so sorry. D was so upset and I guess I thought he actually wanted me to say something. I really apologize. But I am so sad that your opinion of me went spiralling so downward. this is a great pain to me... I certainly didn't mean anything, and I treid to say it in a kind way. Dimitri and you sorted it out, I actually acted impulsively on his behalf... I certainly didn't consider it being an afront to your beloved. And ofcourse, if you feel so strongly I will certainly leave it all alone. But I am shocked that you would trun on me so ferociously and I regret that anything I've said was taken so poorly. I made a bad judgement...but you see, Dimitri was upset, and the truth is he is very sick and I just try to help. Splitting us apart even in your journals is an unkind act. He and I are one...he is as you say, beloved, to me.
I would never comment on it had D not brought it to my attention and he was massively furious. so , I did what I thought he'd like done...just having someone speak up in his honour, that is all.
Once again so sorry...

be well.
~D

A JOURNAL ENTRY OF HER:

(which was deleted)

MY OPINION:

I and Dori dealt with each other in notes. Then she made this journal entry, painted herself as a martyr, so no wonder, that some people attacked her and called her "drama queen" etc. Believe me, it was not a comfortable things to read such things about myself, such like asshole, mean, etc.

She made a grave mistake with writing this journal entry, 'cause know-one knew the exact details, she just only wrote that she was hurt. And then the drama has begun.

If we dealt with each other in notes - then why did she have the feeling, that she needed to show her trouble to everyone on DA? I was called asshole, shithead, everything just for hurting her - and no-one knew about anything. And those, who knew the details, tried to sort things out, they were also called assholes.