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Thanks for reading, if you did! I'm still new at this fanfic stuff, and I'm having fun so far!
Skyrim, Cicero, The Dark Brotherhood etc is all owned by Bethesda.
This is a fanfiction intended for entertainment only. Just having fun. Don't sue.
Published: | Mature
© 2018 - 2021 Foolish-Hearts
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Yep, she doesn't like it when a man doesn't do what she says. XD
Damn, Jade seems to be quite a dominating soul and it doesn't seem to reserved for bedding either. She wants to maintain/establish her dominance in the sanctuary. And yeah, Cicero's shoes may look stupid but he certainly isn't. He's kind of guy you don't want to piss off. He knows tricks with that toothpick-looking dagger of his.
Jade is a small woman (5'5") in a world of big violent men. So she does the best she can. Cicero can see through her tough exterior though. He knows she's not as tough as she tries to make herself out to be. Yeah, he's a smart guy under all that weirdness. He's not gonna fall for her crap. He's the last living original Dark Brotherhood member for a reason.
It's why I always help him on his wagon wheel problem, no matter the character I'm playing as. Anyway, now I'm quite eager to see if Jade gets taught a thing or two by Cicero(that sounded really suggestive).
Crap this chapter is blocked for me -_-
Turn off your mature content filter
Nevermind.
Ok lol ^^ My mature content filters are just there because of the DA rules. There's really nothing bad or graphic (except for the violent stuff... lol)
Silly me, I started reading it now.
Wow... Cicero really surprised me in the end 
With the usual certain sweetness to him 
With the usual certain sweetness to him 
Wow dude. I don't think I've ever written a female character to be a sex and dominance aggressor. lol 
Dean approves!
Rather well written for the character type. I usually write males into that role and write women in varied roles depending on b.s. or station sometimes as normal people, snobby, aggressive but not dominating, or even weak. I write a closed off character, scared and timid, but strong in her own right. Manipulative when needs be but not dishonest. My male lead is very noble and courteous. Another lead male of mine is a wreck, and is an aggressor though but learns to be a gentlemen over time. everyone more or less operates on a level of independence from each other mostly. On their own paths. When characters cross paths they usually work together whether or not they like it or not, but rarely write sexual tension into things myself, because I don't want it to overtake the story. I may go through on another pass in my story and place things in but I'm more focused on main story. I heard it can be hard to balance both without one overtaking the other.
I made a mistake in one scene in my story the dragon prince where the female came off as abusive, but they were in a high stress situation being chased and death was at their door she beat him into submission until he listened to her since she was the body guard and he was acting the spoiled brat. But I feel people will read it wrong and read it as an abuser so I'm going to have to rewrite it. It's not the message I want to convey.
Keep it up this is interesting, I can learn something from this.
Dean approves! Rather well written for the character type. I usually write males into that role and write women in varied roles depending on b.s. or station sometimes as normal people, snobby, aggressive but not dominating, or even weak. I write a closed off character, scared and timid, but strong in her own right. Manipulative when needs be but not dishonest. My male lead is very noble and courteous. Another lead male of mine is a wreck, and is an aggressor though but learns to be a gentlemen over time. everyone more or less operates on a level of independence from each other mostly. On their own paths. When characters cross paths they usually work together whether or not they like it or not, but rarely write sexual tension into things myself, because I don't want it to overtake the story. I may go through on another pass in my story and place things in but I'm more focused on main story. I heard it can be hard to balance both without one overtaking the other.
I made a mistake in one scene in my story the dragon prince where the female came off as abusive, but they were in a high stress situation being chased and death was at their door she beat him into submission until he listened to her since she was the body guard and he was acting the spoiled brat. But I feel people will read it wrong and read it as an abuser so I'm going to have to rewrite it. It's not the message I want to convey.
Keep it up this is interesting, I can learn something from this.
This is only chapter 2, so just know that all of the characters have layers like an onion. I don't present everything as it is. Not only do the characters have to figure each other out... you have to figure them out. That's why people are torn whether or not they like Jade. Depending on where you are in the story, you'll probably have a wildly different opinion of her. All of my characters are in a constant state of change as they interact with one another. Everyone is a liar. Everyone has something to hide. No one is who they seem to be. How they go about this and who can see through the facades- that's the interesting part that keeps my story going.
Any tips? For writing? Hit me up in a note if your game.
Are you asking if I have tips or if I need tips? I'm not a good writer. I'm a decent story-teller. I can develop complex and constantly moving stories well cuz I like problem-solving and planning. But the writing process itself, you can probably tell, I'm not very good at it. I think I've improved a bit over the course of the story, but really, I'm an artist. It's easier for me to draw the scenes I feel may need a little more "umph" to describe to the reader and just insert those in. But like my writing, my art has improved a bit since the beginning. You can also probably tell by seeing the old art in these early chapters. My style has changed and I've learned new techniques. So I'd like to re-do a lot of these older pieces and do new art for chapters that don't have anything yet. I'm actually doing art for chapter 7 right now.
I'm asking you for tips lol that is a hard type of character to write and I need to amp my villains up. I think your writing is fine, give yourself some credit kk 
brb going to the store but will be back.
brb going to the store but will be back.
I still don't know whether to like or hate Jade!
I'm definitely not the biggest fan of Jade so far, but I feel like Cicero has something to teach her. But I like how you don't have a super likeable hero, you don't see that hardly ever. And you stay true to Cicero's personality. I'm excited to read more!
Thank you!! I'm so happy that you are enjoying it so far! Jade is quite a bit to take, but there's also a lot more to her. Cicero is learning that there's more than meets the eye. Luckly, he has integrity and doesn't fall for her power move like most men. Jade is a very old OC of mine (she's been around for a good 20 or so years) and I've used her in various stories of mine. I'm quite surprised to see that people like her so much (as a character)! She's mean but readers seem to have a soft spot for the anti-hero. She ranks top two on most of the polls I do on here. Even the valentine's day one where I asked watchers to "ship" any two characters from the story for me to draw. Cicero X Jade won by a LANDSLIDE and it still surprises me every time! Love/hate dynamic is exciting I guess. Well, it sure is fun to write!! XD
You're welcome! I figured there was more to her than her sass and attitude haha! Cicero is such a sweetheart! I wish I could give him a big hug! 
Oh wow! That is quite an old OC then. I will be interested to see how her and Cicero continue to behave together.
Oh wow! That is quite an old OC then. I will be interested to see how her and Cicero continue to behave together. I sort of ship them as well haha xD The way you write is really good! It's detailed, yet not overly detailed. And it's easy to picture what's happening in my head. (I also love the artwork for every chapter)
I have now read a chapter or two. {= ) Technically four, but I figured if I was going to start commenting, I'd better start from the beginning rather than the latest so I'll have some idea of what I'm talking about when I catch up.
So. I am intrigued! I have an editor's brain, so I can't help but notice things like typos and awkward tense changes and such, but putting that aside, I see the start of an interesting character-driven plot. If this chapter is a sort of microcosm of things to come, these two are either going to make each other better or rip each other to pieces, possibly both, and either way it'll be a fun ride.
As someone who does not quite understand why anyone would be attracted to Cicero, I appreciate Jade's rationale for coming on to him here. {= ) She's being a manipulative bitch and probably lying to herself about her feelings, but at least she makes sense from her own perspective. Good on Cicero for rejecting her, though. He's absolutely right that that ain't love. Is it weird that the lonely, orphaned assassin has more wisdom on that subject than the much-adored Dragonborn? Maybe, but then again, maybe not.
I'm curious about how Jade came by her name, since it's likely an alias. Also that cleavage on that frame. The breasts don't look naturally attached... is that deliberate? Your anatomy overall is pretty good, so I'm wondering if the flesh-sculptor in Riften would turn up her pointy Elven nose at such work or if that's the sort of art she would prefer to be doing. {= )
I'm pleased that you are liking it so far! I am an artist long before I am a writer, so my writing skills are pretty blah, but I feel I'm getting better as the chapters progress. I like to give my characters and even canon characters deep backstories for why they are the way they are. I do take liberties in expanding character personalities with own personal feelings that probably takes them in a different direction than most people see them. But that's what fanfiction is all about! I know a lot of people wouldn't agree with me with how I portray Cicero. But I drew my own conclusions from the same well of information they were given within the game and just applied my own sensitivities to it.
I've had the story brewing for the past six or seven years in my mind and have only started writing it in the last few months out of fear of rejection from pretty much anyone. I know that my love for the fool is strange and not very common. A lot of people have let me know that he is a character that they have enjoyed killing... but I finally decided to put my story into words and share it with others and I have been quite pleased by the kind feedback I have gotten. I enjoy drama and social conflict (in stories, not in real life! If anything, I fear confrontation.) I enjoy filtering my mental and emotional issues through my characters and living vicariously through their actions and reactions. Each character, even Cicero, represents a different part of what is broken about me so whatever I'm struggling with at the time, I will process through the representative character. So writing isn't so much hobby like drawing for me. It's more of a therapy. Hence, I've been scared to share this for so long.
-And about Jade's ridiculous bust, I never really gave a good explanation for it but I've definitely poked fun at it a lot within the story. I myself am a fan of big breasts, and having a pair of my own I know that they are quite ridiculous and get in the way a lot. I feel that they exaggerate her self-image and unnecessary over-sexualization. Whereas I do have another character that comes along in a few chapters that also is quite voluptuous but in her case, it is more to refer to her maternal instincts rather than sexual. (Still fun to draw/look at, though, lol)
Most of this kind of stuff is visual and I don't really draw attention to it very often in the story itself unless it's necessary. Call it fanservice, maybe. Maybe not since these characters have been around long before I have shared this story with anyone. Jade alone has been an OC of mine for close to 20 years. Perhaps the visual is just for me. I don't know. But all in all, there's a bit of a reason for just about everything in this story. I tend to be rather meticulous to make sure that tiny details are relevant. I adore foreshadowing, cliffhangers, and plot twists.
I hope all of that made sense. LOL I do overthink things quite a lot but explain things poorly to others. Another reason I am insecure about my writing. I'm visual. I draw what I want you to know, but describing it is a whole nother animal. I actually went back to edit this comment to clarify and reword some stuff cuz I'm always concerned about a misunderstanding. I'm legitimately paranoid about such things.
I've had the story brewing for the past six or seven years in my mind and have only started writing it in the last few months out of fear of rejection from pretty much anyone. I know that my love for the fool is strange and not very common. A lot of people have let me know that he is a character that they have enjoyed killing... but I finally decided to put my story into words and share it with others and I have been quite pleased by the kind feedback I have gotten. I enjoy drama and social conflict (in stories, not in real life! If anything, I fear confrontation.) I enjoy filtering my mental and emotional issues through my characters and living vicariously through their actions and reactions. Each character, even Cicero, represents a different part of what is broken about me so whatever I'm struggling with at the time, I will process through the representative character. So writing isn't so much hobby like drawing for me. It's more of a therapy. Hence, I've been scared to share this for so long.
-And about Jade's ridiculous bust, I never really gave a good explanation for it but I've definitely poked fun at it a lot within the story. I myself am a fan of big breasts, and having a pair of my own I know that they are quite ridiculous and get in the way a lot. I feel that they exaggerate her self-image and unnecessary over-sexualization. Whereas I do have another character that comes along in a few chapters that also is quite voluptuous but in her case, it is more to refer to her maternal instincts rather than sexual. (Still fun to draw/look at, though, lol)
Most of this kind of stuff is visual and I don't really draw attention to it very often in the story itself unless it's necessary. Call it fanservice, maybe. Maybe not since these characters have been around long before I have shared this story with anyone. Jade alone has been an OC of mine for close to 20 years. Perhaps the visual is just for me. I don't know. But all in all, there's a bit of a reason for just about everything in this story. I tend to be rather meticulous to make sure that tiny details are relevant. I adore foreshadowing, cliffhangers, and plot twists.
I hope all of that made sense. LOL I do overthink things quite a lot but explain things poorly to others. Another reason I am insecure about my writing. I'm visual. I draw what I want you to know, but describing it is a whole nother animal. I actually went back to edit this comment to clarify and reword some stuff cuz I'm always concerned about a misunderstanding. I'm legitimately paranoid about such things.
Hehe, it sounds like we have some things in common. I completely understand agonizing over all the details, for one thing, especially when it comes to portraying canon characters. I figure there's not much point to fanfic if you're not going to go beyond what's in the source material, but dang, it can be scary to mess with characters that many people love and have opinions about. I tend to have pretty strong opinions myself, and I'm usually my own worst critic, but when it comes to other people, as long as their interpretations spring from the source, it's fun to see what they come up with. I respect efforts to make a story really fit with what we know, and I respect experiments and divergences if they're made with love and logic, and I respect just wanting to have some fun. And, one thing I love about writing in Skyrim, the well of canon for any given character isn't too terribly deep. There's a lot of room for different interpretations, so it's hard to screw up in a way that's unforgivable. ^_^
I don't usually enjoy killing characters, myself, which is why I haven't played the Dark Brotherhood questline. ^_^; My husband did, though, so I've seen bits of it, and I have read Cicero's journals on the wikis. Some of the information in them was really useful in developing my own OC's backstory, oddly enough! I don't remember all the details, since it's been a couple years, but I definitely don't see anything wrong with your take on him so far.
He's definitely in the top ten most popular characters--seventh, according to an unscientific sample I just took from fanfiction.net. Cicero has 276 stories tagged with his name. Vilkas is at the top with 460. The ones in between are, in order: Ulfric (449), Serana (398), Brynjolf (397), Farkas (385), and Lydia (343). Just below Cicero is Aela (273). All that is just to say that you're definitely not alone in liking him as a character or in finding him attractive, and that I'm not criticizing when I say I don't get it. *I* don't, but plenty of folks clearly do. Tastes differ, and that's cool.
On a related note, I'm also not criticizing Jade's bust, except possibly from an artistic standpoint IF you're going for realism in how you draw it. Writing-wise, if she were to start breaking the laws of physics in ways that aren't explained by being in a magical setting, I'd point that out, but otherwise, again, tastes and bodies and life experiences differ, and diversity is great.
... Basically what I'm trying to say here is that I don't mean to judge or insult you as a person with my comments on the story. I know your characters aren't you, even if you've put a lot of yourself into them. If I ever come off too harsh or just plain wrong, please let me know!
You have been nothing but kind and respectful in your feedback and I thank you! I have my guard up when someone first starts commenting usually because I'm afraid that I did something to upset them. I'm just excited that you have found some interest in this and are so willing to talk about it. I love that you like to analyze and process things! I'm the same way! I've truly been wanting someone to really talk to about not just my story but Skyrim and Elder Scrolls itself, but I'm so over analytic that any friends I have who have played the games start to tell me that I think too much into it. "It's just a game". Well, duh. Tell the Star Wars fans it's just a movie. Hehehe.
I did consider posting my story on fanfiction.net (I have yet to make an account) but I love the community of DA and since I am more comfortable with my drawing abilities than my writing, I feel more at home here. For now. I will still consider it in the future. Thank you again, for taking the time to chat with me! That's the only thing that's really bothering me about DA is not many people communicate. Some of my watchers have begun commenting more lately and it's helped me gauge if I'm keeping their interests. I do try to reply to comments as much as I can (unless I can't think of a reply) and others have said that that is the reason most people on DA don't comment. Lack of acknowledgment. Understandable.
Oh! -and two words about Jade's boobs= anime logic. Hahaha! I do try to contrast how Jade's chest seems forced and stereotypical as opposed to Ruby's whose chest (while still annoyingly "perfect") agrees more with gravity and has more movement. Both fun to draw. XD
I'm excited to read more of what you think as you continue reading! Conversations like this let me know that someone is paying attention and that in itself is the best form a validation, in my opinion.
I did consider posting my story on fanfiction.net (I have yet to make an account) but I love the community of DA and since I am more comfortable with my drawing abilities than my writing, I feel more at home here. For now. I will still consider it in the future. Thank you again, for taking the time to chat with me! That's the only thing that's really bothering me about DA is not many people communicate. Some of my watchers have begun commenting more lately and it's helped me gauge if I'm keeping their interests. I do try to reply to comments as much as I can (unless I can't think of a reply) and others have said that that is the reason most people on DA don't comment. Lack of acknowledgment. Understandable.
Oh! -and two words about Jade's boobs= anime logic. Hahaha! I do try to contrast how Jade's chest seems forced and stereotypical as opposed to Ruby's whose chest (while still annoyingly "perfect") agrees more with gravity and has more movement. Both fun to draw. XD
I'm excited to read more of what you think as you continue reading! Conversations like this let me know that someone is paying attention and that in itself is the best form a validation, in my opinion.
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