My heart has joined the thousand for my friend stopped running today.
Some members here will remember my little Foundling and how I found her on a ledge outside the window of a third floor apartment I'd just moved into. That was in 2004 or around there. I'm no good with numbers so I'm just as no good with dates. She lived with me ever since and I have to admit there have been times I don't know what I would have done without her.
Foundling didn't mind that I would go back and forth between New York and Pa. Only once did I leave her behind but even then it wasn't long before I sent for her. Foundling was a talker and she loved
I'm not feeling so hot today. I don't know what's wrong with me besides the usual mental health stuff. I know at least part of it is emotional because of Mary but not her fault. I dreamed about my death today. I found myself standing in a room where my body was being made ready to cremate. There were familiar faces there but no one I knew and none of them acted as if my passing was anything of importance. It was as if I'd never lived. I made no difference in the lives of any who knew me, no change in the world around me. I awoke feeling as tired and depressed as when I lay down. I feel as if I don't have that much longer to do what needs to b
Winter is nearly here. It's really cold outside. We have no heat. It's going to take my entire check to pay it off and with that I will be literally penniless. My Grandchildren will receive no Christmas presents from me. While my Son's wife (I call her Daughter) will understand, my Grandchildren look forward to being able to take the gift card I send them to the store and buy what they like and My Daughter and her husband will just add it to the line of excuses why they don't want to bring the girls around. I know I've said this before but at the risk of sounding repetitive I truly hate my life.
I no longer consider myself even an amateur ar