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:iconfnokitty:FNOKitty posted a status
Sometimes...

I just want to believe again...to feel right again...I don't want to be dull...

I don't want to believe in this.... I don't want to accept this is how it ends...I just want things to be happy and right...


I...Don't like this...Clouded...I can't seem to be clear...I'm scared...I need to be heard...I need to help them...But I need help...


My voices, my heart...my will...my mind... are numb...in denial...confused and scared... That reminds us we are not forever strong and can't always have a smile and be bright.... Because... I'm not perfect... But...I'm far from the worst...

Devious Comments

:iconmira-the-everon:
Mira-The-Everon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Our fragility requires a certain maintenance, but there are many problems solved by a simple change in view.

Perception is reality.

Remember that our emotions are not what we control, but instead the way we interpret the world, and that can in turn change how we feel about it. This is why asking opinions to shed new light on a situation can be as beneficial as it can detrimental. Stop thinking that forcing a smile is caging yourself in some way- rather, find it a release from the chains of sorrow. Often times, you'll find you're thinking too deeply. All in good time comes stability to those who push on. C;
In other words, you're free to take the support myself and others offer. What else could be better than a gift of mutual friendship?
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
I grew up being quite, refusing to ask help most of time so I won't be a bother, and working alone so I won't drag people behind or be a disappointment... old habits still carry on even though the start of this school year was exactly what I wanted... but... now... I'm six feet under in the grave I buried for mysef... and I just don't want to bother anyone... so I'm ignoring my needs and important matters.... even though I know so many would help me... yet I refuse and believe that I'm not worth it and won't get any...
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:iconmira-the-everon:
Mira-The-Everon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I used to be the same way, though it was because I didn't trust or care for people much. I can't give you an exact instruction in good conscience, since I can't entirely relate, but the way I eventually allowed myself to give and receive help is just by subjecting myself to it. It took years to adjust; but after so much faking and analysing, I learned how to actually apply my knowledge and trust in people... to an extent. I'm still getting better, of course. Sometimes, you just need to hold your breath and dive in despite your discomfort. Change rarely comes easily.
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
Hmm... Are you my long lost twin, because I aware we are like two sides of the same coin~
But in all serious manner... I know...
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:iconmira-the-everon:
Mira-The-Everon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha, perhaps cx
It's certainly a tall order, but I think you can do it. People are ever changing, we just need to ensure we change for the better. C:
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:icondarkhybrd:
DarkHybrd Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
..What's going on? 
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
I'm just... feeling off against...
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:icondarkhybrd:
DarkHybrd Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
..oh 
I hope that feeling goes away 
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
-nods- ...If you want to know more....you can read the other comments I replied on here... I don't feel like making another wall of text in a slightly different way, and copying feels kinda wrong when I put heart and mind, letting it all out...
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:iconcatsonq:
catsonq Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Are you...ok?
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
Physically yes... Mentality and emotionally... Not really... I just feel like I'm a waste and should just give up... like I have no hope... like I am weak... stupid... and fool... I just want to be happy... feel hopeful... to believe and have back my drive...my will... my heart... a clear mind...

Thing is, I make so many people happy and cared... I feel happy that I make them like that... they even care about me... because I'm good, understanding, and caring....and I'm very lucky to have things I have right now... but I'm afraid to ask help... and with this being my last year in high school... I don't want to look toward... to think about college... I want to spend all my time making others happy... but I also really want a way to live off that's decent and I can have enough free time to keep help, and make others happy... I don't mind having a minimal wage job for 3-4 days if I can slowly build up something online to help me spend more time with people like you... I love hearing to people who have troubles and endure them with them as I help them... But all o hear is my loving parents worry and concerns about me going to college and every teacher and concealer as well...because I'm that kind of person with that kind of background... they want the best for me... but I want the best for others... I don't want things to change... so... I started to shut down... stop caring so much... my grades...well one of them at least just...went all the way down....partly because how uncomfortable it feels working on online work... now...I may not pass...
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:iconcatsonq:
catsonq Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Please pay attention to your grades!!! Not caring about them will not make your situation stay the same, only worse. Getting through college will allow you to help others more than dropping out. I am in eighth grade and I'm honestly terrified of high school. But I know my life will be easier if I keep my grades up. You can still spend time online and helping people. Also, helping people can help you get into a good college (ya know, volunteering and crap) 
idk if I completely understand you but pleaseee, because I really care, focus on your school work 
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016  Student General Artist
Hehe, I wished I could take that at heart...also... What ghost of pride I have is jealous at your skill, with it's non existing jaw on the ground with shocked ghostly eyes at you being in just 8th grade... I feel so happy for you, and I mean that. I'm actually happy with others people success.
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:iconcatsonq:
catsonq Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You seem like you'd be a good writer
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2016  Student General Artist
I know... funny thing is I don't know what a verb, noun, and what not without looking it up. Heh. 
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