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The Blues by FNOKitty The Blues by FNOKitty
"Why do I suddenly feel empty...?"

Sorry my child...

0/23Wyn I'm not counting this for anything... I don't think it's right for what this was for, even if some effort was put into it.

(Please ignore if you don't want to hear the rambling of my mind, sorry for venting here)
When the blues hits you hard when all you want to do is be happy, bright, and motivated for others... Bouncing back up seems to do little as it will always be there to catch you if no one else is around...
Ugh, I dislike admitting to myself that I do need to have people around to keep me happy, why can't I be more selfless and strong? I want to be strong for others, I want to be someone to be able to depend on... but it seems more like a dream at times.
I know it's not really my fault as I been bullied/outcasted for most of my years being a kid, had very little friends, kept to myself, didn't ask for much help, and so on... I don't like how I'm kinda venting here since I wanted to make this place my happy place... an outlet to put my ideas and passion into... but it seems I can't help keeping to myself while also wanting letting out a whisper or yell for help since I'm isolating myself from people I care for and care for me.... and worst yet, I've become so used to allowing myself getting unattached to things since it's what helped me, but now it's just a bad habit. I already accepted life, death, and to an large extent, that dreams may just dreams... and to accept all those things is like a poison to the mind when your mostly self aware all the time unless something distracts you from knowing how deep the rabbit hole goes, yes there is good things in life, but feeling small for most of my life has gotten me to such a state that I sometimes doubt myself completely, even with being more positive and outgoing; my past is always there to remind me that I went to deep... I know to much to have a simple life... I paid the price for knowledge... 
At times, I just want to be how I was back then. A good pure heart that wanted to give, to make others smile, to be myself... but some how even a such a young age, in elementary school, people think it's cool to laugh at people trying to be themselves and have their own opinions... and from there on everything kinda went down hill... but at least things are much better now.
:iconredhead-alex:
redhead-alex Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 Temmie Emoticon Icon Gif 3 - Undertale  
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June 24, 2017
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