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A party to end the summer. by FNOKitty A party to end the summer. by FNOKitty
It's been a while since joining, I met nice people here, and made friends that I'm glad to have. I may not be the most expressive person at times but I do enjoy and cherish the joy, smiles, time, and friendship. It's always nice to know I can talk to others when I do have the courage to do so, to hear(read) their voices, to hear about their thoughts, and overall just chilling. As this art community is very large, I see artists who's art are like gems to me, and the artist them-self are gems as well with their personality, such as Rubberbird. I can't help but look up to you with how creative and nice your art is to me, oh how I wish and hope for the best for you as you are on your own path in this life we are in. 
To be truthful, your art captures a state of being I used to be, someone who is fragile right now, that is so valuable to me, it kinda brings me to tears knowing how this world has changed me from a once fully good willed child who was pure in thought... who felt whole with how bright and cheerful I once was when I acted silly so others may smile and laugh... to love the bright light I strive to be... but ever since my last year, things weren't the same, I had more on my plate mentally than what I was used to, I had more people to give a shoulder of support to, and I changed my personality to be more of a guardian... but it messed me up not being able to just be a silly little smiling fool... and since I don't reach out for help or someone to help me keep my smile with fun or support... it effected me... I could of messed up my entire future if it wasn't for my school being very lean on being able to make up two and a half classes... ya that was how bad it was, I just brushed stuff to the side... I kept the tears down, and did my best giving a smile to others who did enjoy me being silly. I gave to others, pretty much used money I worked for to make others happy because I didn't want to grow cold... I need to exercise a state if mind, since it kinda affects who I am... I'm trying not to just curl up and isolate myself like I used too. At times I felt that biting the dust would be better...
But
In the end, having someone to just talk to, to have someone that talks to, to talk back to me, the simple messages of people I met kept me going... it allowed me to know I can't just close the curtains since I have others care about me as I care about others... I was needed, and that is what kept me going even through this confusing world... it is what kept me sane and have a heart still... believe me when I say this, I can be a tad insane if allowed to indulge with the fire that burns in me that once burned brightly, hate and despair...
Anyways I want to end this on a good note, I just want to say I thank everyone who has shown me the is light in the world, I really do.
-oh and also sorry for having what I usually put on a journal on here, sorry!
Sparkle (left) is owned by :iconrubberbird:
Jaline (right) is owned by me!
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:iconrubberbird:
Rubberbird Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Aaah, first of all, it really warms my heart to hear that I have helped someone on here -- truth be told, we're really not that different at all! We're both smaller artists on here who create art here. In most respects, I'm as normal as the person walking down the street shopping for groceries except for a few nervous ticks.

In terms of life in general: it's not cold or selfish at all for you to be... well, you. It's true that (mostly) everybody had to bend a little to the desires of those around them, but if other people make you change too much, then they're probably not concerned with your well-being. However, genuine friends are very understanding -- maybe you can try talking to them too? As for me, I'm never sure about how I come across to others, but I can assure you that it's not a crime to have "negative feelings" -- I try my best to be cheery and outgoing for other people because that's often what people need/want, but there are dozens of times where I don't feel well at all too. It's ok to let tears flow, and it's ok to be someone who receives assistance from others (this is where I can speak from experience : D)

Oh! And a last thing: it's ok to take a break from other people! tbh I feel like I want to isolate myself from others quite a bit too, but after enough time, I'm able to muster the energy to face new people -- after all, it's hard to be positive around others if you don't have the energy to do it in the first place, right?

Keep going! You're doing awesome so far~
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2017  Student General Artist
Honestly, I think you should be bigger with how creative you are, I truly do believe in you with all my heart! 
If anything I don't call myself normal, I rather show my personality... unless I feel awkward with people looking at me and saying I'm strange in a bad way... Then I might tone down. I'm kinda energetic unless I'm snoozing from lack of proper rest, which happened all through high school. 

They are not bending me, I'm bending myself into a pretzel. Also, I hear ya.
It's honestly hard to cry on normal terms, I just can't let it easily happen, it actually takes an effort to go against the response to resist to allow it to happen... I'm pretty sure I'm a pretzel now with how I been treating myself.
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:iconrubberbird:
Rubberbird Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Hm, just out of curiosity: do you personally identify as an extrovert, an introvert, or an ambivert with certain tendencies? Did you just not get enough sleep, or do social interactions wear you out?

Have you unpretzeled yourself yet? If not, you should definitely go do something for yourself to relax; maybe you can go to a spa and get all of that pretzel tension massaged out of your system or something XD
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:icongildedmelody:
GildedMelody Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope things turn up and you keep finding reasons to smile, cause it would be sad if you left art behind and couldnt be happy or continue to make all of us happy by being here :) This piece specifically is quite cute!
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:iconfnokitty:
FNOKitty Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2017  Student General Artist
Thank you!
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:icongildedmelody:
GildedMelody Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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