just a girl in love with the starsevery day I long for the nightand every night I yearn for thestars–seems like they're the onlyones that calm my roilingthoughts these days;my tumultuousheartdrowning on fire;my mind is lostin sky, clouded words,long goodbyes,dark.and though I have a soul offew wounds I somehow still manage to learn thisinexplicableoceanic sadness–why is it that we existwhen we are so flawed, why is it that wemust dedicate ourselves to pursuits of no meaning,why is it that though happiness is all we desirewe don't share, we're just liars–I sit here torn,close my eyes, crackle andburn.
contentI am sitting in my room, lights ona cloudy day, a little rain,and the fish tank whispersand splashes; a simple songreplaying through the houseand I am dreaming, a longtrain of thought that glides by,is lost. and found;I'm floating withmy head up in the clouds–proud. sometimes I forget Iam only sixteen, becauseI feel so old caught in betweena million instances of sound andwords and wonderings;wandering through dizzy daydreamsI slowly remember:life is simple, nothing grandiose,I'll do what I will while waiting;a happy ending is all I crave,and no more hesitating.
wanderlust has caught hold of methere are worlds out there to explore and oceans to dive intoand I want to leave and live in that kind of desolate beauty forever,losing myself and finding my broken pieces againtoo bad I have a sad soul and an ancient mindtoo bad I am caged in apathy, and that a monster called the american school system iseatingmylifeI wish I could walk away from it all like you are;but I will never be satisfied until I am able to take moonlit walks every night and watch the sun come up every morning,and talk to someone like you for the rest of my days(impossibility; what awaste)
grrrscribble stumble slur(p), listen close, taste the wordson my lips as I dreamilywhisperthe world is a blur
I1. I've started to use capital i's when writing recently because I realized that even if I'm not that important to myself, I'm important to others. it is one of the small things I do to remind myself that I am worthy of all the things I dream about and long for. sometimes I still forget and have to delete a hastily typed i2. maybe am too much of a dreamer; there is a thin line between reality and fiction and though daydreams are constantly blooming inside the pages of my mind, I really ought to pause the songs inside my head from time to time and remember to cherish what is real(ly), meaningful. in truth, my wonderings are nothing but desperate attempts to find myself that don't lead anywhere and ultimately cannot satisfy the wanderings of my restless mind3. (what am I looking for? if I stop searching, will I be waiting for the answer to come to me or will I be giving up?) well, how can you ever find yourself if you're the thing you're looking for?4. the universe we live in will sur