Is there a way to make a journal into a mature content title? It seems like maybe that would be a good idea for this. But, anyway, I recently decided that maybe I should begin this again. Why? I don't know, honestly. There have been a few things that have happened in my life and I just decided that every now and then I need to turn to deviant art to get back to life. So, let's get back to track and I'll tell you about things that have happened since the last time I checked up with you guys.
I graduated from college.
This is probably the biggest accomplishment that I have made. I am the first in my family to graduate from the college that didn't involve getting a promotion and getting paid from my workplace to get said college education. It's something that I thought that I could easily transition from college to a job, especially since I worked while i was in college, but then I realized that I had no way of knowing what I should do after, so now I'm back at the college working part time. I'm getting paid more than minimum wage, so it's worth it for now. But it's not where I want to be forever. I like making coffee. There's something fun about it. But I need a job that allows me to sit down. The older I get, the worse my knee gets. The cushioning is definitely gone between my knee and knee cap. I feel like a seventy year old person suffering from arthritis. I might need surgery in the future, but I will need good health insurance. And I hope to be married by the time I have to do this, so if I have to take time off from work for it, I won't be dying with money loss. However. . .
I'm single and not really enjoying it.
This is something that is not really under my control. I've been having problems finding someone to date that, well, doesn't fuck up often. I don't like being called a bitch and I enjoy being pretty independent. However, I'm more than willing to bend to be with someone that I truly want to be with. I can't be with someone who has facial hair, though. I have sensitive skin. It hurts when I get kissed by someone with facial hair. And the problem with my town is that there are too many people who want to keep their facial hair and think that being with a certain girl who doesn't want the beard around is not worth being with. However, I'm also a bit of the blame to dating.
I have feelings for an ex, again.
The first time this happened, I was afraid of my feelings and jumped into a relationship. Considering now that I'm single, that relationship didn't last for me. I went into things with the wrong mindset and I also moved to a different state for five months for a job. I didn't visit him during this time and he got severely jealous and angry at me. When he called me a bitch, I basically felt like the relationship was over and broke up with him when I came back home. When this happened, I started to hang with my one ex and well. . . I don't know. Things are complicated for me. I want to be with him, but I also know that we are not compatible. He needs a girl that will play soccer with him and sing songs in the car and do whatever he wants to do like ice skate or something. All I can do is play video games or watch anime with him. Plus, he doesn't want to date at all, so I'm trying my best to respect his wishes. There are moments that I want to curl up against him and fall asleep in his arms. But I know I need to look into dating someone other than him. Need to move from this town, though. Need to get out of this area. But this area is where my whole family is, from where my grandparents are buried to where my newest cousin is being born in November.
I'm still writing.
This is mostly the main reason why I am back. I've been able to critique myself a little better, so hopefully my writing will be better than before. I began looking at my works that i have uploaded to here and I noticed that a lot of what I have is sort of. . not correctly created. My grammar is off and my tenses are all messed up. I never got the hang of such things before and I have a habit of just writing without even processing what I am writing. While working part time, I have been writing stories during the time that I have not been working. However, I've been too tired lately to do it and I feel guilty for it. Most of my professors said that you could never be a professional writer unless you wrote every day of your life. And I feel like I'm just coping out of life and a chance of becoming something I have always dreamed up because I use excuses like, "I'm so tired." I'm more strict on myself, though. I'm currently on the third or fourth edit of a story I've been working on for a year.
Well, that's it! Thanks for reading!