Another semester is winding down, here at VTC. Another week of classes, then a week of final exams, and then a large batch of question marks (as I haven't figured out what I'm going to do for a living situation over the summer). Weary is one way I might choose to describe myself at the moment. Weary, perhaps with a smidgen of will-shattering stress and depression. It's just the way things go, I guess, when you let stressful things (like large, unwieldy assignments) slip and need to deal with a ton of them at the end of the semester.
Why didn't I do the assignments then, when they weren't overdue by a few weeks? It's a question I've been asking myself for as long as I can remember having any kind of responsibility, academic or otherwise. I've got two theories, involving tedium and inspiration. I hate cycles, which sets me up for having a hard time with cyclic things. We sleep, to wake up, to get tired, to sleep again. We do homework, to get graded, to get more homework, and then eventually a job that we'll end up doing work to get more work to get money to pay for things to sustain us so we can work and get more money to pay for things. Everything in life boils down to some kind of cycle, and I grow easily tired of the tedium involved in participating in these cycles.
Inspiration is another issue. I don't get "in the zone" very easily, and I'm completely unproductive otherwise. I can't just sit down and do something, it seems. I know what my motivation to do so is, that's an easy one. I need to get these things done so that I can pass my classes and end up with a piece of paper that provides credibility to my claims to future potential employers that I have relevant skills that I might contribute to the workforce. Motivation is a different beast than inspiration. Motivation is reason, which I have. Inspiration is the drive, fuel, or will to act on motivation. I seem to have run out of said fuel.
All this being the case, I've also run out of inspiration to do anything creative. It's been months, sadly, since I've taken a picture of anything. Months, still, since I've designed anything on my own time. I think I'm in a creative slump. A life slump, maybe. Rest assured, though, it won't last forever. I'll be back up and posting pictures of arbitrary things in no time. Until then, I don't know, forgive me, and/or show some support.
Listening to: Greg Maroney - Breathe
Drinking: Mountain Dew