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About Digital Art / Hobbyist JRMale/United States Group :iconhw-art-swap: HW-Art-Swap
 
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Dear :iconstarkindlerstudio:,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg outside your office and I saw you carve your initials into a catholic priest. I'm sure you're open enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning your car to you, but i'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

Please don't hurt me,
JR

SUCK IT!
How to do this:

Dear (choose a random person(the person you will tag I guess .o.)) ,  
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on Nutella
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October -Last year when you peed your pants
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – In your apartment
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink – Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other - The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? 
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly 
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
House- Sterile

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by my the garbage man
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Your toe ring
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your virginity
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Love your sweet, sweet ass
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T -Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2018  Student General Artist
:iconprincesscelestiaplz::iconsaysplz:A very good day to you, human. I come to you on your day of birth with greetings... and thanks.
:iconcelestia-plz::iconsaysplz:My good subject Pinkie Pie told me she had taken to congratulating some humans on their birthdays, but even she has her limits. So she asked us for a bit of assistance... and for such friends of ponykind, we feel it right to provide it.
:iconhappycelestiaplz::iconsaysplz:It is thanks to people like you that our land of Equestria, our very world, exists like it does. It is your friendship with us that gave us life. For that, we will forever be grateful and cherish you.
:iconcelestiapleasedplz::iconsaysplz:And so, allow me to wish you happiness, peace, prosperity and fulfillment! My hope goes with you that you suffer no hardship in the year ahead, but should a challenge befall you, I am certain your courage and skill will see you rise to conquer it!
:iconcelestiaorlyplz::iconsaysplz:Now... where is she...
:iconlunawaveplz::iconsaysplz:Here, sister!
:iconcelestiahappyplz::iconsaysplz:Fashionably late, I see! But just in time for the greetings to be given.
:iconlunashappyplz::iconsaysplz:Right! I'm ready. Three, two, one...
:iconcelestiawubplz::iconsaysplz:Happy Birthday!:iconsays2plz::iconlunahaplz:
:icondatcelestiaplz::iconsaysplz:And now... let us commence the royal party.
:iconcelestiadatassplz::iconlunadatassplz:
:iconsendhertothemoonplz::iconprincesslunadanceplz:
Reply
:icontechtalkpony:
TechTalkPony Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2017
Happy (Belated) Birthday! ᵔ.ᵔ

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbbjA…

(Sorry for the late post, I was away for a long time)
Reply
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2017  Student General Artist
:iconpartypinkieplz::iconsaysplz:Haaaaaaappy happy birthday to our good friend today!
:iconpinkiestarryeyesplz::iconsaysplz:Here's a little birthday song with something I must say!
:iconpinkieishappyplz::iconsaysplz:On this day we celebrate having you with us!
:iconpinkiepartyplz::iconsaysplz:Throw a party here for you I'll make sure is a blast!
:iconpinkiehappyplz::iconsaysplz:I wish you only happiness, that your life's full of smiles!
:iconbrilliantpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:That you and your friends will prevail in any troubling times!
:iconpinkiebrilliantplz::iconsaysplz:Most of all, I wish for you that you'll have lots of fun!
:iconpinkiegalaplz::iconsaysplz:And share it with all close to you, spread happiness around!
:iconhotbloodedpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:OR ELSE!
:iconpinkiewinkplz:
:iconpinkiepiesmileplz::iconsaysplz:So let's get down to business now, there'll be no more delays!
:iconpinkiepiecakeplz::iconsaysplz:On to the birthday party, celebrate this joyous daaaaay!
Reply
:iconmad-geo:
Mad-Geo Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2017
I'm not sure if you even look at this any more, but Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2016  Student General Artist
:iconpinkiehappyplz::iconsaysplz:Yay! We're here, everypony!
:iconhappytsplz::iconsaysplz:Phew, that wasn't long. I told you we could easily make it on hoof!
:iconstyle1plz::iconsaysplz:Speak for yourself, Twi, you didn't have to carry this cake! It's heavy, you know!
:iconpinkiebrilliantplz::iconsaysplz:Thank you for helping out, Dashie! I couldn't have settled for anything less, after all!
:iconfluttershy-plz::iconsaysplz:Hi... We're here to... wish you a happy birthday.
:iconpinkiesmileplz::iconsaysplz:You said it! Happy birthday!
:iconbrilliantpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:And what better way to say "happy birthday" than with a cake? :iconcakepinkplz:
:iconapple-jackplz::iconsaysplz:Why, with a real Apple family apple pie, of course! :iconapplepieplz:
:iconderpyhappyplz::iconsaysplz:With a muffin! Yay! :iconmlpmuffinplz:
:iconraritysmileplz::iconsaysplz:But these, while pleasant to give, mean little by themselves...
:iconrarityiscuteplz::iconsaysplz:What makes them meaningful are our wishes for you!
:iconpinkiesmile2plz::iconsaysplz:Exactly! And we wish for you to have a perfect birthday and a great year ahead of you!
:iconrainbowdashhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't fear any challenges you might face! No matter how bad it may seem, have faith in yourself and keep on being awesome!
:icontwilighthappyplz::iconsaysplz:And while at it, keep a level head and don't lose sight of what's important! Keep the magic of friendship alive in yourself!
:iconapplejackhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Remember your loved ones and friends, an' don't let little things an' worries get you down!
:iconspikethinkingplz::iconsaysplz:We hope that you'll find all you seek and be the best you can be!
:iconrarityjoyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't forget to respect yourself! You're the best at being you, so stay true to what you really are!
:iconflutterpweezeplz::iconsaysplz:And we hope that you'll be at peace with yourself, too... and that the year ahead will be peaceful for you.
:iconpinkiewinkplz::iconsaysplz:And throughout all that, have fun! It isn't fun if you don't have any, after all, and fun it should be!
:iconpinkiepartyplz::iconsaysplz:Just like today! Party on!
Reply
:iconnomusicequalsnolife:
NoMusicEqualsNoLife Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2016  Student General Artist
Happy birthday
Reply
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Student General Artist
:iconpinkiehappyplz::iconsaysplz:Weeee! Today's the day, everypony!
:icontwilightderpplz::iconsaysplz:Pinkie, do we have to teleport in like that every time?
:iconpinkiecuteplz::iconsaysplz:Of course, silly! Else it wouldn't be a proper birthday greeting!
:iconisaypinkieplz::iconsaysplz:Ahem...
:iconpinkiepiesmileplz::iconsaysplz:Happy birthday!
:iconapplejackplz::iconsaysplz:And it wouldn't be a proper birthday if Ah didn't bring y'all an apple pie, baked by yours truly!:iconapplepieplz:
:iconrarityiscuteplz::iconsaysplz:Let us all give you our best wishes on this occasion and wish you a wonderful year!
:iconflutter-shyplz::iconsaysplz:I hope that you will not run into any trouble this year and that everything will be as good as it can possibly be.
:icondashissuperhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't forget that you're awesome! And that we're all your friends! Keep on rockin'!
:icontwilightliciousplz::iconsaysplz:Always keep the magic of friendship within you. May it bring you as much joy as it brings us!
:iconadorablespikeplz::iconsaysplz:And don't ever feel like you're useless or unworthy! Only you have what it takes to live your life, so don't let anyone or anything else get you down!
:iconbrilliantpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:And of course, don't forget to have fun while at it! And speaking of fun...
:iconpinkiebrilliantplz::iconsaysplz:It's time to party!:iconpinkiepartyplz:
Reply
:iconmlpquang20-c:
MLPquang20-c Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:icontidaldrawn:
TidalDrawn Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconstarkindlerstudio:
StarkindlerStudio Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconlazywaveplz:
Reply
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