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Extreme sports: God's way of cleaning the Gene Pool

STD's: God's way of saying "Keep it in your pants, you retard"

Natural Disasters: God's way of showing that he, too, hates weathermen

The Stock Market: God's way of proving that what goes up, must come down

Senility: God's way of making old age interesting

Computers: God’s way of making the weak strong and little kids available to creepy old men.

Martha Stewart: God’s way of showing that we should never trust anyone that colour-coordinated
Anyone who's read some of my work will see this and be like "wtf? he writes prose?" The answer to this would be no, no I don't, but this piece didn't fit any poetic description even I could come up with, so here it is in prose. This is basically just a bunch of msn names that followed a theme, and I decided other people needed to experience the love. Or something like that. That being said, I'd just like to stress the fact that this is humour, and that this shouldn't cause people to want to burn down my house in a religious cleansing. Oh, one other thing, because this didn't fit with the other stuff, and it was too short to put on it's own, I decided to throw this in the description: Cucumbersome: The state of having too many cucumbers to the point that they become unwieldy. Anyways, this is long, so yeah, tell me what you think, thanks.
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:iconetre-aux-anges-lune:
etre-aux-anges-lune Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2008
BRILLIANT.
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:iconganal-sex:
ganal-sex Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2007
*giggle*
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:iconjujimufu:
jujimufu Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2006
I bet this text is God's way of showing how people should make other people laugh :D :D Cheers!
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2006
Heh, thanks, I haven't been on in a while, but thanks for the comment and fave:D!
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:iconjujimufu:
jujimufu Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2006
No prob :) It really made me laugh, and I appreaciate anything that has to do with laughter :) Cheers!
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:iconkfpm16:
kfpm16 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2006
That is great.. Its hilraious.. Excellent prose peiece..
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:iconchris-supernerd:
Chris-Supernerd Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2005   Digital Artist
AUTOBRILLIANT :worship:

Hehe, that senility definition kicks ass XD You could start a huge archive with this, much like that beastiary! :D
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2005
Hey, thanks man, I very much appreciate it. Haven't been on here in a while, good to know that my older works still see some light. Thanks for the fav and the exposure!:D
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:iconmetalmalis:
metalmalis Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2004
XD
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2004
Thanks, I think:D
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:iconstarryeyes318:
starryeyes318 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2004
HAHAHAHAHAHA

a definate fav.
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2004
Thanks:D Glad you liked it, always appreciate a fav:D
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:iconswordexpert:
Swordexpert Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2004  Hobbyist Photographer
Very funny indeed. I laughed my ass off while reading this... and now I shall burn your house down in a religious cleansing. :D j/k...
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2004
Well, at least I have forewarning, thank you:D And glad you liked it, everyone needs a good laugh or two every once in a while.
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:iconswordexpert:
Swordexpert Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2004  Hobbyist Photographer
agreed. :D
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:iconunknowntome:
Unknowntome Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2004   Writer
LOL, fucking hilarious man, please check out some of my work
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:iconmutableair:
mutableair Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2004
rotfl. (No specific words.)
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:iconfragilemacabre:
fragilemacabre Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2004
WTF?
Hahahahaha.
--susannah
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:iconassignation:
assignation Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2004
ultra cool, and made me laugh HOHOHO love it! :D
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:iconnashua:
nashua Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2004
Dear Lord, Mind If I add "cucumbersome" to the Word of The Week [all made up ;) By myself and *jahg] segment on my journal? :)
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2004
Yeah, totally, I would be very muchly honoured. The word kinda just spawned from a conversation between me and my ex, can't even remember how, but it was one of those random extrapolations that I do: said the word cumbersome and cucumber in the same sentence, and a legend was born. Or a weird word. One of the two. But thanks for the comment, lol.
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:iconsalinger:
salinger Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2004
HAHA.....thats freakin hilarious dude!
And well....cucumbersome will now become my most used word. I mean seriously...can you think of a single incidence when you WOULDN'T need to use this word??? ...me neither.
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2004
lol, yeah, totally, I mean, personally, it comes up in my everyday speech like every minute, at least. "Hi, how was your day? I see, sounds very cucumbersome." or "What's that, you don't like my sweater, well cucumbersome to you too pal!" See, it just fits into nearly any speech pattern, it truly is a blessed word. Lol, anyways, thanks, glad you liked my nuttiness.
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:iconaladdin-sane:
Aladdin-Sane Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2004
I've been a greater admirer of these names for a while.
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2004
heh, thanks Pete, it's all about the random msn names.
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:iconjahg:
jahg Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2004  Professional Writer
Some days I feel cucumbersome. :|
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:iconfailurepoet:
failurepoet Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2004
Don't we all though?
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:iconjahg:
jahg Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2004  Professional Writer
So true. :nod:
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:iconcutebutsyko7:
cutebutSyKO7 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2004
HAHAHAHAHAHA-snortHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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