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Well..thank you soooo much for following me! Its such a wonderful feeling to have you all on my selfie and travel journey! Lol.
Its been quite a weird ride so far in Thailand...honestly I'm not enjoying it and I can't wait for 3 more weeks til I go to UK!
Its very hot here. And between fighting with my brother, getting molested by a taxi driver, falling down stairs, shitty painful thai massage, almost getting run over by motorbikes, the smells...ugh. The smells!!!! Hahaha.
I've had my time here. Seen some beaches. Malls. Markets. And more markets and yet more markets. Haha. Had enough street food to never have to have it ever again would be too soon. Lol.
Its been different to say the least here in Bangkok. Im positive there are good parts of it? Some of the bars are cool...but unless u want to meat on surrounded my people...dont come here. Unless you have lots of money! Things are cheap here... Food (only thai food) western food are normal western prices. Accommodations are cheaper...but u def get what u pay for...
If you have lots of money and someone that speaks thai you may like it.
I dont. So i have not enjoyed it to the full extent and I'm sure others would. Or if u were here with ur bf/gf or just friends...i think that would be better...its more of a party and travel place to do with younger friends..not family.

So thats it for now. Hahahha.
Just telling it like it is!
Thanks for joining me!
If you're on instagram find me at "pixie. Spirit. Xox "
Love to see you over there. Alot more vids and pics to see. Xoxox
Hope everyone is well! Have a great day and look forward to talking to you more!!!!


My heart! 701 watchers??!!!
My friends!! Thank you so much!!

You have no idea what it means to have you follow me and like my pics...thank you for always being so nice to me!
Its appreciated more then I can say.

Im so grateful for all your love and support!
Trying to get out of my comfort zone is way harder then it looks...
So thank you for joining me on this journey.

Follow on Instagram if you have it!

Talk soon!!!
You guys and girls are amazing!!
Almost 600 of you are watching lil old me!!!
So sweet of you all!!!!
Thank you all so much!!!
Im also on instagram...if you are too.
Id love to see you all there as well!!!!
Yay friends!!!!! Inbox me there if you're from DA so i can follow you all too!

Again thank you from bottom of my heart to care enough about me to watch me and comment and like.
Xo im a lucky girl!
It amazes me that you all like to see me. Xo it means so much to me.
Ive been up for hours now looking thru pics and so tired and im kind of lost...but you all are so nice to me and i appreciate it with all my heart.
Thank you. My soul is thankful today. Xoxo
Xoxo. Love you all!! Thank you so much!
U know?
I dont know what to write.
I dont know what to say.
Things have been going so right.
Until that day was today.
Im still in one.
So i shouldn't think of another.
But my heart is torn.
Its split by a lover.
Not in a real physical sense.
By a heart to heart which seemed
More intense.
But what can i say that
Hasnt already been said.
Im Going to sleep now,
alone and in bed.
Thank you very much everyone for caring what i do. Xoxo
Thats all. :)
What is it that calls you to me.
What is it that you clearly see.
Why when i look do i not see it.
in my mind it can not be.

Why's my heart so empty and yet my eyes so wide.
I want my soul to be set free
I want love above all to rise.

I feel im falling down the rabbit hole
To darkness way below.
I feel im falling into an empty pit,  a place i do not know.
What will happen if i dont stop.
What if there's no bottom to hit.  
Just space below and all around me.
A void...a oubliette.

No Wonderland to find myself.
No Cheshire cat to show me the way.
No tea party with a mad hatter.
Just "off with your head" the red queen will say.

Never will i understand these things i cannot see.
Never will i feel the warmth in my heart that you feel for me.

To a happily n'ever after oblivion.
Been a long while since I wrote anything.
I forgot about deviantart for a few years.
Ive moved another 7 times since my last journal post.
Still singing, but no theatre shows for about 6 years.
Started my own DJ business.
Started a online and festival candle company.
Still taking many selfies. Lol. Makes me feel better about myself if i think i look ok. Damn movies. Magazines. And social media.
Hope everyone is having a great day!
so, im just sitting here, kinda bored cause my plans fell through for tonight...i have a milion pics to put on but its taking too long, so im not going to today..ive been busy doing theatre shows here in simcoe, we just finished beauty and the beast..i was babette the featherduster! :) and next is Oliver, where im pretty sure i have a good chance to be nancy, but who knows what will happen! one of my friends, whos turned into a best one lately just went to kenya on sunday for 7 weeks! and im missing him sooo much! its awful actually and now im trying to find things to do and people to hang out with! but its not the same without him and im kinda sad! ya i know noone reads this anyway, or cares! lol, but im throwing it out there, cause i can! :) anyway, im gonna take off..anyone have any ideas of pics to take i have like a million too many of me, lol, so i need a new subject..:) thats all ..ttyl faith
  • Listening to: the air conditioner
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
i just felt like putting something here instead of the xmas one..i have nothing to talk about at this moment, too tired.. maybe ill write something tomorrow, when i think of something half decent to say..thanks to ALL my watchers..sweet of u..:) <3 Faith
  • Listening to: twilight
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
Well Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you all have a great one! I dont have much to say right now but merry christmas and a happy new year and all that jazz..:) Ill see you all in the new year if im not back on by then...Good night! <3 faith
  • Listening to: nothing
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
Im so jaded, Im so sad, Im lost in an ocean of bitterness...
Anger is all I feel now, and abandonment. You said you have never felt like this, that you have never seen things like that...Should've know you'd bring me heartache.. Everyday All I think about is you... Am i so easily forgotten? So easily played? So easy??? I hate you now, I hate what you have done to me, I hate that I let you in.  Im not a sad person, Im not a revengeful girl.. I hate to be sneaky, I hate to play games... The Hell with you and everything u are...goodbye..
  • Listening to: almost lover a fine frenzy
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
The day starts as any other, dark and cold.
The night is the same...but it's during the day that you
feel the suns warmth, that you hear the birds sing,
and you can see the beauty that is still in the world.

There it is, the blue skies, the white cottony clouds,
The birds flying over head looking down on you,
like the angels, and whatever grand being one chooses to believe in.

The sun beams through the windows and soaks into your face.
Eyes closed, breathing in the light.
Your mind wanders to better times, safer times, lovlier times.
The tears start to sting.

Thoughts of feelings dwell in the chest, thoughts of longing.
Ideas and wishes you want for, so much it hurts, burn into your heart.
Things you yearn to say or do leave you empty and troubled.

But then a image, of a smile, of a face staring brightly back at you
makes a smile seap slowly onto your face,
makes your heart open again and your life feel worth living.

Makes you believe in the honesty of this universe, that we must be a part of.
The hope that is still in reach and the people that are always there for you.
Many people are there with you, in your heart, thinking about you everyday,
wishing they were there instead of you.

Guilt rises in some, yearning for that time machine to bring them back to that witching hour. The time of life and fun and no worries.
The excitment and refreshing energy that has been missing for so long.

The pain is unbearable to think anymore. The pain that they caused in some is more painful then there own worries in life. They seem small now, and meaningless.
All they want is for it to be over, for things to go back to the way they were.

The tears sting again.......the images come flying back, the guilt and anger rise in her again......How could she have done this? How could she have know?
wait, no anger...Just wishes of happiness and freedom. Wishes that someday they'll forgive and give another chance to friendship..

The sun is setting again, going away to give light to some other person in need of its healing and energy.
One day they'll look back, they wont laugh, but they'll look back and see it happened for a reason as everything does...good and bad. Maybe it gave life to something that they never would have found before.

The wind is fading, the birds have stopped singing, everything has stopped singing.
Untill they see your eyes light up in a genuine smile of forgivness the songs will never be the same.  One must only hope for the best and......................

Have "Faith" in the rest....
  • Listening to: the cars drive by
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: root beer
So, my friend went to jail, with resisting arrest, and DUI, and about 5 other minor ones from what i hear...i havn't been able to talk to him, or seen him..but i made some new facebook friends,(his sister and brother in law..LOL..) since they don't really know what happened and all he remembers is the cops jumping all over him and tazzering him...
So then i finally get a hold of the cops who took my cell phone and they said i could have it i drive the next morning an hour away to go to the place where my phone is, and they tell me they need my permission to use the videos...I said id rather just get it back..but then they go on tho tell me that if i dont let them have the videos they'll just search warrant it and  will have no say as to what they look at..
So i give them permission to look at the 2 from after 4am when the fight broke out, one vid is 2 min and the other is 22 sec..
Then i go across the street to the bail hearing and i find out the jail he's in is in full lock down because they found weapons i wait 3 hours and there is no information about the lock down.. so i call them myself and they say that they might not even get done that i leave...
Today, since NOONE knows anything as usual, i call the detectives myself to find out whats going on, and i find out the next hearing is on thursday morning...and i will get my phone back and the vids are grainy but the sounds good...i dont know if thats good or not,,,cause I dont want to fuck up my friend..ya know?? but they wouldnt let me look at the vids before i had to give them permission, and they still didnt let me see them...anyway, so i get the phone back on thursday and finally get to LOOK at my friend , since i cant talk to thinking of visiting him tomorrow, but i think you're only aloud  a couple a day, and he has a huge my update..:)
  • Listening to: the drum and piano lessons
  • Reading: the comp
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: the comp
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
So im out with my guys friends...and we go around and end up in  missisauga, about an hour from my city, and we drink...i end up leaving my car at kelseys and getting in the car with this other guy, and we go to a karaoke bar, where we end up drinking more...SO..then the one guy starts to drive me back to my car and like 2 min into it, his back tire blows on the highway...then he gets out to go to the washroom, and someone calls the while we are in the car deciding what to do..the cops show up...and heres where it gets interesting...the cops ask him to get out of the car, which he does, but then he starts to get ansy? i thing i know they have him down on the ground and call for backup...7 more cars show up...and 10 cops all come running and hold him to the ground...the guys pretty big for a shorter type guy...then they have to lift him into the back of a cop car...and there i am, watching this in awe, and decide to get my cell phone out and take video..(bad idea)...cause then this nice girl cop makes me go in the back of her car, (my first time in a cops car), and she wont drive me to my car, so i have to go to the station..its 4:30am by this time..and my B/F needs the car to get to work at 5:30am..she says i'll be home on time..(i wasnt)...So, i get to the station have no idea where my guy friend is...and i get put in a room for questioning, then she was going to have someone drive me to my car, but this young cop guy says i need a breathalizer first...(i failed..:(..)
Then i go get my phone call to the B/F who thinks im out with my very religous good girl, girlfriend...and by this time its I tell him Im in Missisauga, i failed my breathalizer so i cant get home...he wasnt impressed...
Then this one real bitchy cop told me i couldnt stay she made me go out in the rain and walk down the parkway
to god knows where...i end up sitting outside a gas station till it opened a 6am, where when the guys finally got there he called me a cab and took me to my car...where i finally got out of the rain....
well, i guess i was the one who said i needed excitment in my life...
  • Listening to: the cars passing
  • Reading: the screen
  • Watching: the computer
  • Playing: on the laptop
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: water
I think i must be a boring person...i really do think this, i never use to be..could party like a rockstar every night...
could drink anyone under the on speakers, make out with any boy or girl that crossed my path..I use to be fun,and adventurous...when did things change?? is this what getting older is like? money, and relationship problems?
I think "there must be more to life.."
is there??
Or am i stuck in this rotation of nothingness???
This empty, dried up soul use to alive!!!!!!!
So full of hopes and goals....
GOD, i just wanna sell everything i own and move somewhere far away!
Like Greece!  i could handle that i think...
Sun, sand, blue skies, hot greek men, (...;)..)
Then theres always scotland...castles and four post beds...
i need more to fading away....
  • Listening to: the cars passing
  • Reading: the screen
  • Watching: the computer and my tears falling down by breasts
  • Playing: on the laptop
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing, but i need one...
Ive been thinking the last couple days..about life and dreams etc..
When do you give up on dreams?? Ever? or do you just keep it in the back of your mind for the rest of your life and think, what if i did it this way or that?
    Or what if you think you met the most perfect person for you, (you think), but are already in a relationship and you dont know if you should end it or not?
     Or what if they live in another country? and you've never met them? Do you take the chance? or just consider it another dream to forget, or think about what if?
    What if you have SO much in common with someone, but they dont want to take the step and let you any closer to they put up a wall all of a sudden?..even if deep down you know and they know that they want to...but i dont know, they're scared?
             Or is it you who is scared?
       And what about distance? Does it really matter? not emotional distance, but like hundreds or thousands of miles away...
Do you even bother? or do you just stick with what and who you know, and never do anything spontanious in your life again?
      Anyway, these are just a few things going on in my mind right now...bloody confusing....
So im gonna go to bed now, for another sleepless night of questions and what ifs...
     Good night..
<3 faith
  • Listening to: the rain and the air conditioner
  • Reading: the screen
  • Watching: the rain on the window
  • Playing: on the laptop
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing, but i need one...
i just felt like writing, about nothing really, im just so confused with life right now...i wanna do so much with my life but i dont know where to start or where to go next...i just get up and go to work, and take each day as it comes...but there's nothing to look forward to...nothing to do, and nowhere to go, and so much to lose..or gain??
anyway, i dont know why i wanted to write anything, maybe just seeing others journals made me want to..but i have nothing worthwhile to say today, so im gonna go...thats all..
  • Listening to: the tv
  • Reading: the screen
  • Watching: orange c. c.
  • Playing: on the laptop
  • Eating: chinese
  • Drinking: water