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My Negativity May Get the Best of Me by ezziethenekolover My Negativity May Get the Best of Me :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 3 0
Literature
Have you Ever
have you ever wanted to say sorry for the words you didn’t mean
the ones where it could heal or hurt someone as if in a dream
where reality was but a small colour drifting over the se of doubt and worries
the things you regret
the things you wish you shouldn’t have said
the life you wanted to live
the things you wanted to keep
this life isn’t but a dream
shrouded in mystery
this thing
is like a blanket
shrouding your thoughts
like a dream coma
where you think you don’t want to wake up
until suddenly your at the bottom
of a rut in life
where the pit drowns out the noise
that is your reality
When will you wake up?
When will your lies be made truthful?
your brokenness becomes healed through
your life becomes fruitful
where is that reality?
How long will you walk around
blocking your ears to the sound
of distant cries
trying to reach your heart
but you shove me aside?
Why tell your lies
You say I’m fine
but you’re not really fine
not from all the times I
:iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover
:iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 0 0
Help me I'm fine by ezziethenekolover Help me I'm fine :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 2 6 Human Eye Sketch by ezziethenekolover Human Eye Sketch :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 0 0 Happy easter from the gang! by ezziethenekolover Happy easter from the gang! :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 0 0 WIP Easter with Kip (Belated) by ezziethenekolover WIP Easter with Kip (Belated) :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 1 0 Storm's Nightmare by ezziethenekolover Storm's Nightmare :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 2 0 Happy Valentine's Day (Belated) by ezziethenekolover Happy Valentine's Day (Belated) :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 2 6 Error trade by ezziethenekolover Error trade :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 2 4
Mature content
There's a Difference (Original Poem) :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 0 0
Earthfang trade for SophSouffle by ezziethenekolover Earthfang trade for SophSouffle :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 5 16 Dat's Mah Cookie Redone by ezziethenekolover Dat's Mah Cookie Redone :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 3 10 Art Trade for Error-xx by ezziethenekolover Art Trade for Error-xx :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 4 4 Happy Holidays with Ezzie's gang by ezziethenekolover Happy Holidays with Ezzie's gang :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 0 0 Graduation Kip by ezziethenekolover Graduation Kip :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 3 0 Kip as a cat by ezziethenekolover Kip as a cat :iconezziethenekolover:ezziethenekolover 1 0

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Improve your art through your mindset!
Here are some things to keep in mind and that will help you improve your art, especially if you're a beginner.
1. Good art takes time
Don't expect to finish a good piece of art in less than an hour. If you want your art to look good you also have to be willing to invest time in it. Good drawings can take weeks to finish! So have patience and take your time for your art.
2. Copying
"I should never copy, copying is the same as stealing. Everything I draw has to come from my mind only." - NO. NO. NO! Quite the opposite! If you can you should always use references! Take whatever inspires you (photos, drawings, games, anime, creature designs, etc.) take whatever colors you like! Copying is NOT a crime or even a bad thing! Just make sure you always have multiple references ready - the more the better! DON'T just copy ONE image. Mix them together, add your own fantasy and make something new and unique! And if you're a beginner it is okay to even copy whole im
:iconWindSwirl:WindSwirl
:iconwindswirl:WindSwirl 86 54
With a resounding splap by zarla With a resounding splap :iconzarla:zarla 2,019 173 If they were taped on it'd be different by zarla If they were taped on it'd be different :iconzarla:zarla 2,152 175 But what's the type by zarla But what's the type :iconzarla:zarla 2,561 232 Occasional thunder for a bit of kick by zarla Occasional thunder for a bit of kick :iconzarla:zarla 2,500 534 Skele see skele do by zarla Skele see skele do :iconzarla:zarla 2,221 160 Away from it all by zarla Away from it all :iconzarla:zarla 2,145 226 Like the heart of a slumbering god by zarla Like the heart of a slumbering god :iconzarla:zarla 2,039 143 Constantly nibbled in my own home by zarla Constantly nibbled in my own home :iconzarla:zarla 2,801 293 This is not the review I was looking for! by zarla This is not the review I was looking for! :iconzarla:zarla 2,355 231 Put five cents in the jar by zarla Put five cents in the jar :iconzarla:zarla 3,304 369 Is that a bug? by zarla Is that a bug? :iconzarla:zarla 2,429 553 Ride or die, in a sense by zarla Ride or die, in a sense :iconzarla:zarla 2,049 165 Just five easy steps by zarla Just five easy steps :iconzarla:zarla 3,139 485 But how about MORE sugar by zarla But how about MORE sugar :iconzarla:zarla 2,116 228 I'll just stay here and weep quietly out of sight by zarla I'll just stay here and weep quietly out of sight :iconzarla:zarla 2,470 280

Critiques


This indeed is an interesting animated piece. It is simple and shows exactly what it was meant to do. As you have requested a construct...

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My Negativity May Get the Best of Me
So... Here's another thing I just drew today and spent the last few hours on.

In short the picture is about how internal struggles affect me. Me being the white and black feline you see in the picture.

In more detail I'll explain the different elements in this drawing, so please bear with me...

Each of the coloured cats are labelled so they should be self explanatory, at the top is Lies, representing the internal and repetitive lies my brain would have looping in my head. Namely, "You're not good enough", "You're not pretty", "No one cares about me", "No one loves me", "I don't matter" and other things that repeat on loop causing me to break down with further issues and self doubts.

They feed each other like a negative flame, fuelling the fire as the other consumes my sanity and self worth.

Silence does nothing and causes one to not say or reach out even when they are in need. Usually my mind plays these small tricks on me convincing me that because I don't matter, that my issues aren't big enough of a deal to mention to anyone else.

This feeds into frustration, who further pins and torments me and my mind. Then when I try to get up, Anxiety and Stress keep me down, causing issues that further make me struggle to move anywhere.

The cat representing myself has faded pink on the skin where it's ideally faded, dull or unsaturated to represent a drained being, tired of the same torments and emotions that wreck havoc on their victim.

Even if I were to fight those emotions and feelings, I'd be weighed down even further by the weight of Negative self talk and the self hate that follows. It keeps me stuck in the same cycles that I try so hard to ignore, push away or handle.

I wanted to avoid the use of shadows and despite changing the overall mood, I understand it could make things more dramatic, however I wanted to keep the drawing rather simple, yet descriptive in looks alone.

I'm not in any way trying to seek attention or pity from anyone. It's merely a vent to get out and explain to others what my words would always fail to do. I'll admit at the moment I'm in a good and healthy mood, and I plan to make small healthy changes for my mind and body too. It's just going to take time and energy before I see the person I know others can see.

As this is a rather personal drawing of my experiences in my life, I'd appreciate no use, copy, modification, manipulation, trace, or other forms of redistributing this drawing. 
These character designs aren't specifically mine, so you can use them to your hearts content (Simply as they are plain colours really)

Art drawn by me: :iconezziethenekolover:
Time taken: 2-3 hours approx
Program used: Photoshop CS6
Tablet used: Wacom Intuos Pro (Medium)

If you liked the drawing or its representation, please feel free to comment down below, fav or share it. I hope you have a good morning, day, evening, night and remember, if you're going through something similar, there are people that care, even if your brain says otherwise.

I'm blessed to have the support system I do to make sense of these things or simply to vent to.
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have you ever wanted to say sorry for the words you didn’t mean
the ones where it could heal or hurt someone as if in a dream
where reality was but a small colour drifting over the se of doubt and worries
the things you regret
the things you wish you shouldn’t have said
the life you wanted to live
the things you wanted to keep

this life isn’t but a dream
shrouded in mystery
this thing
is like a blanket
shrouding your thoughts
like a dream coma
where you think you don’t want to wake up
until suddenly your at the bottom
of a rut in life
where the pit drowns out the noise
that is your reality

When will you wake up?
When will your lies be made truthful?
your brokenness becomes healed through
your life becomes fruitful
where is that reality?

How long will you walk around
blocking your ears to the sound
of distant cries
trying to reach your heart
but you shove me aside?

Why tell your lies
You say I’m fine
but you’re not really fine
not from all the times I know
youre crying
out to a world that will laugh
should they even see you?

Why do they need to scratch at your walls?
Like dogs begging to come inside
You have no idea how much you mean to me
you can sing the songs of history
but those words are as hollow and broken as the barriers you put up
this front you keep
while you weep in your sleep

And in your sleep, you dream of a world
it’s hollow, like your heartbeat
it thumps in a tune that only you can hear
Your mind hums words that no one else can hear
your tears, the cymbals crashing to the ground
you hear these things
and you cry out loud
but you never reach out
to the ones who know they can
help me! Help you!

Some mornings, you struggle to get out
of your coma where you think your dreams are more ideal
because your dreams felt so real
but they are just a mentally constructed mindset
something made up inside your head
but you so desperately want it to be made real

the friends you miss
the family you have
the ones who you lost
you get the chance to see them again
but know this world isn’t meant for you to live in
the world you’re in now
that’s where you need to put your home in

But why can’t you bring back the words made real?
Because it’s already too late
somebody had a feel
Have you Ever
Just something to tie through until the next submission I can do.

(Didn't intend to rhyme... oh well. XD)

Just a rather free verse poem I wrote on 18th May 2018

Hope you guys enjoy!

I intended on turing some of my poems into videos, so stay tuned for that idea!
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I've realised that I've been apart of this community for over 8 years now. :D :O

I want to say a quick thank you for these past 8 years and hopefully more to come!
Help me I'm fine
Hey guys, been a bit since I uploaded anything on here. As I've been in a weird mood lately (bit of a down mood) I decided to draw this. If you don't know much about my characters here, it's my two fursona's Kip and Frosttip.

I've always used Kip as a way of representing my happy self, the side most people often see me as for an online presence. However, I never often used Frosttip to represent me, as he's the example of my opposite self. He's usually grumpy, brooding, or annoyed mostly, which are emotions I don't always represent or show, especially online.

So naturally as I've been conflicted with my internal emotions, this is kind of my vent so to speak, But I'm not here to rant. Just to show something that I put lots of work into.

Program used: Photoshop CS6
Tablet: Wacom Intuos Pro (Medium)
Time taken: 4 hours or more
Art by: :iconezziethenekolover:
Characters by: :iconezziethenekolover:

Please leave some feedback, a little comment can go a long way for me. :)

Thank you and I hope you enjoy.
Loading...
I'm starting to consider giving myself a 30 day art challenge to see about uploading frequently...

Maybe it's a challenge I need. :P
Hi all,

It's been some time since I was online and active, and I apologise for that. Since the last journal I had received my charger for my tablet but lost it temporarily and found it again on Easter. I've had craft projects that I was in the process of completing from last year that took priority and I had a costume I wanted to finish.

As the title says, I got to go to South Korea for two and a half weeks and that was amazing. The very first time overseas and my sister was the one who paid for me. Then when I came back I was working hard on completing a fursuit. (If you didn't know by now, I'm a furry. But That's fine. I didn't know it was a thing until 2012!)

I've also had a casual job with full time hours that changed into a part time job, which I resigned from as I wasn't being paid correctly. Alongside this I have been studying Community Services because I want a job that reflects my desire to help the community.

*Takes a deep breath*

I then have also gone to Confurgence (Which I was told was one of the biggest conventions for furs in the Southern Hemisphere) and got to meet a few awesome Youtubers and non Youtubers (Such as Telephone, Blu Dragon, Uncle Kage and more talented individuals). I got to dance in my fursuit in front of a crowd, alongside interacting with other like minded people. I got to draw sketches of the other suiters and simply stay away from home for a weekend.

Then when I did eventually get back home, I had to go back into the way home life was like before I even left.

And even more recently now I have started an online drawing course (Which is where the eye sketch that I recently uploaded came from).

I had full intentions on getting back to you all on a frequent basis, but I'm struggling to on top of everything else. Now I'm here playing catchup.

And and AND!!!
I'll be going to the Markiplier tour as he is coming to Melbourne (Near where I live) in November and I have another day where I'll be going to see Dan and Phil with my friends.

My year's been going off with a bang and boy has it been so much fun so far. :3

I hope you are all having a good year too.

Until next time.

Bye~
  • Listening to: Undertale Remixes
  • Reading: warrior cats by Erin Hunter
  • Watching: Zootopia
  • Playing: Minecraft and Undertale. :3
  • Eating: Cookies! :D
  • Drinking: Milk. :3

Commissions

Chibi characters
Big head, big eyes. I don't have many examples in my gallery to include. These I'm willing for 5 or less points (The cheapest on here that I can pick is 10... just ignore the price that is chosen, in reality I would only charge a max of 5). I usually won't include a background, but if you want one then let me know. same for whether it is traditionally drawn or digitally.
Traditional Characters
usually will take 1 or more weeks for the image depending on life incidents. The traditional sketches will cost more for colour than without, and if you wish for more than one character to be drawn on the one page, I could consider discounts.

Prices are negotiable, yet the max I will charge for a full bodied non coloured charrie will be 10 points. (I believe it works out to be $0.10 USD)

Upon the art being completed and submitted, and the payment made, then you can do whatever you wish with the art. The only request I make is that either my signature (Which I'll place in tiny text on a corner) remains there, or if you're inclined to remove it, at least mention who drew the image.
Characters Digital
These are a bit more expensive as I do include a back ground for no extra cost but they can be completed for a quicker amount of time as that of the traditional version. With appropriate reference of your character(s) I'll try my best to create an image based on the info given.

Like traditional, the range for how many or how much character(s) shown may change the price altogether.
Painted Characters
This takes a lot more time, and I'm not exactly confident in it either. I draw the character first, then proceed to paint it, I accept the painting to be either watercolor or oil painting. I'm also enjoying oil pastel (painting). The length of time taken and the detail requested may affect the pricing, so just be wary of this.
Animated Icons or animation
As I am still learning, please forgive my poor animating skills. I do believe I have improved since my animations that I have uploaded. I can attempt to animate an icon that responds to a second icon (The kip one is one, but I chose not to show art I have already given people).

Prices vary, and if the animation is real terrible I will give a highly reduced price. Larger animations will cost more than smaller animations, and they are all done in Gimp, however I can do animated shorts on Flash, as for photoshop, that is out of the question at this point. (As I'm new to photoshop)

Longer animations cost more too, the beginning cost will be 30 points, but this price can be negotiable.

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ezziethenekolover's Profile Picture
ezziethenekolover
Erin Lauder
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Australia
My name is Erin and I am waiting for YA BRAINS!

Current Residence: Australia
Favourite genre of music: Varied
Favourite style of art: Digital and traditional
Operating System: Windows 8
Favourite cartoon character: Pikachu!
Personal Quote: Don't worry, be happy!
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Journal History

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ezziethenekolover has started a donation pool!
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I don't know what I'm saving up for but This is where you give me points for the artwork I make for you.

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconmamabali:
mamabali Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thx for the llama and I wish you a nice Weekend :) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconaprildraven:
AprilDraven Featured By Owner May 25, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch Kaori Smile Icon 
Reply
:iconfruitily:
Fruitily Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks! by Fruitily  
Reply
:iconezziethenekolover:
ezziethenekolover Featured By Owner May 1, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
That's ok. :hug: Without being a creep, I like watching artists. :3

But also your art is pretty neat! :3
Reply
:iconthekikkakibaz:
TheKikkaKibaz Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018
tysm for the watch :D
Reply
:iconezziethenekolover:
ezziethenekolover Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
That's ok. :)

Thank you for what you've done for me.
Reply
:iconthekikkakibaz:
TheKikkaKibaz Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2018
no prob ^^
Reply
:iconezziethenekolover:
ezziethenekolover Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconspitesyre:
spitesyre Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2017
happy bday!
Reply
:iconezziethenekolover:
ezziethenekolover Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :D
Reply
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