"We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation, the fire that will light the way to a better future, we are one. " (from G'kar's Declaration of Principals)
A Word from Z'ha'dum
Sometimes I wonder why I opened an account on DA.
I enjoyed the time I spent here and there was a time I believed I were a good artist.
That was not true.
I know it.
I am NOT an artist.
Sometimes I can draw something good, but most times the thing I draw has nothing to do with the image I have in my mind. Nothing.
There is no way I can improve in drawing human body, NO WAY. I can read and watch hundreds of books and tutorials and every time I draw my figures have wrong proportions or are rigid and unnatural like sticks or dolls placed in akward poses.
And I can't do landscapes nor perspective.
I have beautiful images in my mind, but when I draw they come out only half decent and I hate them.
The only nice things I did are the ones I used photo reference for and that's not true skill.
I realized a few years ago that drawing could only be a hobby for me, that I'd never be a real artist, so I decided to follow my first dream, the one to be a writer.
I wrote a novel and I began two other novels. When I put the word "End" on the first novel in March, I was so excited, it looked like the whole world was mine. I dreamt of sending it to publishers and to see it printed soon.
Well, I'm still editing it and it seems it will never be ready and good enough to be sent to publishers, every time I read it again Inotice new errors and parts I don't like.
And it's MONTHS I have writer's block and can't go on with the other two novels. I know the plot, I know what is going to happen but I just can't write.
I feel completely useless.
Then I look around and I see my house is a mess, I still have to make the Xmas tree and put decoretions and I can't do until I tidy and clean everything. I still have to buy a lot of presents too.
Usually, Xmas time makes me feel happy and excited, but this year I can't find my Xmas spirit and I feel bad for this.
Sorry for the rant, I know I have NO RIGHT to feel like this: I am lucky, I have a wonderful boyfriend and the sweetest dog I could desire, I have everything I need.
I shouldn't feel so sad and I feel guilty for this, but I can't help.
Probably tomorrow I'll laugh reading this post, so don't worry for me, I just needed to whine and make a little drama.
Codes Wii code: 7177-5885-9937-7878
Animal Crossing: 3350-9542-2742
Picross DS: Coming soon
FF3: Coming Soon
Pokemon Diamond: 0774 1573 0490
Chocobo Tales: Coming Soon
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