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walking city oct pg 7 by ethan-k793 walking city oct pg 7 by ethan-k793
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:iconmelcairorose:
MelCairoRose Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014
... holy frick he just has this adorable nature to him ;u;
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:iconethan-k793:
ethan-k793 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks, ive got to get more involved with extra art to give him more character.
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:iconmelcairorose:
MelCairoRose Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014
Well hopefully that will help!
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:iconethan-k793:
ethan-k793 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
woo
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:icongallant-art:
Gallant-Art Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I sincerely like the idea you had behind this audition as well as the character.  However, I do have to be honest here that I felt this audition needed more of a "plot" to carry this audition along.  In spite of the scanned pages being initially hard to see/read, it looks like the main idea of your audition was for Dreadnaught to be doing his job, gets intrigued by a sound enough to go to great lengths to find out what the source of the sound is, then he sees Walking City, and gets fascinated enough to climb.  In essence, it's a very simple layout/sequence of events and has the potential to make up part of a plot.  Although in this case, in became a bit TOO simple and I have to note again that using this idea is more of something as a support to what should be a bigger plot rather than becoming a stand alone plot as that by itself usually doesn't stand out enough in my opinion.  Your audition could have used more complexity to it to make your audition really unique or really bring out more of your character in some way or another.

At the same time, I understand if you felt that adding "complexity" to the audition felt a bit hard because you're working with a mute character of limited intelligence other than his observational work, but that's where you just have to get creative.  This would be one of those character types where you really want to put emphasis on body language/poses and/or facial expression to really show off some characterization, no matter how limited the intelligence of said character may be.  Then hopefully, your overall plot was really planned it well to bring out a lot of character development in Dreadnaught while also explaining your given setting of Walking City a bit more.  It's a mixture between those two elements are what you should look into when you apply for OCTs.  Again, it looks like you had something going here, but the execution of this audition as what should be a teaser to the early signs of your overall plot didn't express enough as I wish it did. 

Nonetheless, I really liked the fact that your audition shows Dreadnaught going to great lengths and distances to figure out the source of the sound/his new curiosity to demonstrate his dedication, ability not to lose track of the trail, etc.  It was a bit touching, cute, and intriguing to watch, but unfortunately, that didn't feel like enough for me.  At the very least, I probably would have tried to add a little bit more after "the ending" to your audition, just to get in some extra characterization for Dreadnaught through interactions with his new environment, that is Walking City.

It looks like (based on your gallery) that this is your first time working on a comic.  You have a lot of potential and a good start for your first try, but just keep practicing, trying to push those boundaries a bit more, and definitely research heavily into references like published comics if you need help/ideas.  Not to copy, but to get the idea of how visual storytelling, panel layout, etc., goes.  But yeah, I admire that you tried to go for a big audition as your first attempt right off the bat.  I'm glad I got to see your audition though.  It was worth reading in spite of many things that could have been improved on.  Keep working hard, ethan-k793!  :)
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:iconethan-k793:
ethan-k793 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the criticism, im greatful to have tips! its nice to get advice on new things.
im going to try to fix the pages on the audition and maybe add more detail.
you've almost got what I was trying to draw but I was thinking dreadnaugt (pourpously spelled) would find a portal and fall in after hearing that noise comeing from it!
im glad you gave feedback and Im fixing the pages!
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September 23, 2014
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